Hailey's POV
"Yes. I think he really likes you, Hails. He's a really good guy. Look, I really need to go, but I love you." She hugged me tightly before heading for the door. "I'll text you later tonight."
"Okay! Love you, too!" I yelled to her from the couch. I sat rooted there a while longer, thinking over everything again. Of course I wanted Ian- wanted him to be by my side, to really be mine. However, he can't seem to let Liv go the way I wish he would. There's no way I'm going to allow myself to fall in love with a man who loves someone else. That's literally asking for a broken heart.
Ian's handsome face and stupid smirk kept popping into my head as I picked at my sock in thought. He really is an amazing guy- too amazing. To any girl, he would be a dream come true, but to me, he's more of a forbidden fruit. Something that looks good in the distance but that I'll regret the moment I bite into it. Hell, I already regret it. The buzzing of my phone snapped me out of my depressing thoughts until I saw who it was from.
Ian: Can we please talk?
Hailey: Talk, then.
Ian: In person, Hailey.
Hailey: Why?
Ian: Please, Hailey. I really want to talk to you.
Hailey: Fine, come over. I'm home.
It seemed I couldn't keep away from him, even when I knew it was stupid to be around him. His presence alone is enough to draw me right back in. I couldn't believe I had stayed strong enough to tell him to go home last night. I don't know what to do anymore. Ian is more than I thought he ever could be, but how can I trust him?
I continued to spin this thought round and round in my head, not realizing 20 minutes had passed. Ian rang my doorbell before I ever had the chance to change or make myself more presentable. I slowly answered the door, collecting myself along the way. Ay Diosito mio. I sometimes forget how handsome he is. I stared into those blue eyes as he gave me a small smile.
"Come in," I finally said, stepping aside to allow him to enter.
"Hailey, I am so sorry." He ran his hand through his hair as he spoke, making it stay up for a second, defying gravity. I could see he was driving himself mad with guilt. His eyes looked a bit crazed, and that's when I noticed the dark circles encircling them. He hadn't slept much last night, or perhaps slept terribly. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I'm kind of happy to know he had a hard night, too.
"I know you are, but that doesn't change anything. Being sorry isn't going to make you let her go." I shook my head at him, refusing to meet his eyes, afraid I'd be lost in them again.
"I want to let her go. Please don't pull away, Hailey. I don't want to lose this... us."
"Was there ever an us? It is hard for there to be an us when you are so wrapped up in her."
"I- "
"Tell me something, Ian. Do you think you'll ever fully be over her?" I stared down at him, waiting for an answer as he struggled.
"I- It's- " he stuttered, unable to articulate a sentence.
"See, that's the problem. It should have been a quick and simple answer. Yes."
"You think I want this?!" he snapped, surprising the ever-living hell out of me. "I want to be over her. I would love nothing more. Do you think I enjoy pining over a married woman? It's disgusting and nothing like the man I am. My heart just refuses to let her go, but when I'm with you, it's different."
"I shouldn't be a consolation prize, Ian. I should be your number one. Please, go. I can't handle this right now. And don't worry about taking me to my dad's new restaurant opening. I'll be fine on my own."
"Hailey," he tried to protest, but I refused to look at him as I held my arm out, pointing to the door. I heard him sigh as he trudged towards the exit. Holding myself together until I heard the door close, I began to cry again. I don't know what to do.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I be more understanding? God, I wish I could talk to Liv about this. She's my best friend, but I can't share any of this with her. I don't know what it would do to her, knowing Ian loved her this deeply. I need Christin.
With tears in my eyes, I knocked on her door. She was asleep, having closed the restaurant with Juan. She told me he'd taken her under his wing, and apparently he hadn't really taught her anything she didn't already know. I'm not sure if that's because he's being a dick and thinking she doesn't know much, or if he's just not that talented. Dad says he's a great chef, so I'm going to go with the first option.
"Oh my gosh, Leelee, what's wrong?" Her sleepy eyes shot open so fast when she saw me crying. She pulled me into a tight embrace, rubbing my back soothingly as I broke out into a full sob. I don't know what it is about being hugged by family that just makes all my walls break and my tears flood out. Shouldn't their hugs be more comforting than sob inducing?
"It's Ian," I managed to say through my sobs.
"My knives are sharp and ready. Just let me know what you want me to cut," she said, smoothing my hair down. She caused me to giggle through my tears, causing an odd sound to leave my chest. I shook my head against her.
"No cutting."
Christin guided me inside her room, having me sit on her bed. She kept her arm around me, holding me close to her side. I then began to spill everything. She listened attentively as I told her about how Ian and I started. I mentioned how we flirted and how we got to know each other more and more. I told her about the hook-up and all about yesterday. I think she was rooting for Ian until I told her about Liv's house.
"He let your hand go like that?" Christin seemed offended by his action, as if it had happened to her and not me. I nodded my head, remembering the feeling of my hand dropping beside me. It was like he had dropped me and not just let go of my hand.
"Am I being overdramatic?" I asked her. "Should I be more understanding?"
"Oof, Chica. This one is hard to answer. For the most part it sounds like he truly likes you. However, I totally get not trusting him fully. He's literally in love with someone else. It's a hard spot to be in, Leelee. I totally understand your tears now. But, I think those tears are telling you something else, too. You already love him."