Ian's POV
**Song Suggestion: All I Want by Kodaline
"Thanks for coming," Red greeted me as she moved aside to allow me to enter her warm home.
"Seemed like it was important," I responded, noting the way she was rubbing her round stomach.
She was getting close to her due date now, with a little over a month left. Her pale complexion clued me in to why she had been absent from our lives these past few months. She was drained and was trying to keep Hailey and me from seeing her this way. Five months of beautiful bliss with Hailey seemed like five months of worry for Red. I knew when she called me that it didn't matter if Hailey was with me or not...I needed to see her. I could hear it in her tone. Her call had come shortly after my lunch with Mr. Medina, turning my elation to worry instantly. She has something to tell me, and I need to know what it is.
"Come sit with me on the couch? I can't stand for very long anymore." She gave me a sad attempt at a smile, wobbling as she tried to walk. I scooped her up, seeing her struggle, and carried her to the couch. "Thanks," she murmured.
I knew whatever it was, it must be very bad, because normally Red would have scolded me, telling me she could walk on her own. Taking my spot beside her, I watched her attentively as she reached beside her into a small box. She pulled out a journal, fanning through its pages before she closed it and tapped its cover gently.
"These are for you." She pushed the small box my way, showing me a pile of about 5 or 6 journals.
"What are these? What's going on, Red?" I peered up at her, seeing her sorrowful face. She seemed ready to cry with glossy eyes, hanging her head.
"These are my journals from high school. Last year- almost two years now- you let me read your letters. Well, these are as close to my letters as we'll ever get. I want you to read them. I need you to know how I felt about you back then. It's important to me that you get this chance and never question whether you were an important part of my life," she explained as she twirled her thumbs over her lap. She wouldn't look up at me, hiding something more.
"Red, I can't take these. I don't need to read them to know. You were a big part of my life then, too." I pushed the box back, not wanting to open this door again. Hailey was all I needed and all I wanted. Hell, I am about to ask her to marry me.
"Please, Ian. I need to make sure you have these to remember me by, in case- " she paused, finally meeting my eyes and revealing her inner thoughts.
"Don't." I shook my head, placing my hand over her fidgeting fingers. "You're not dying, Red. You're going to be here for years to come. I don't need these journals to remember you by. In fact, I refuse to take them, so you better not die."
"Ian," she whispered my name, holding my gaze as a tear streamed down her face. "Please, for me, just take them."
My heart was breaking, shattering into pieces inside of me. My once strong, flaming Red was now a mere ember, barely maintaining her light. She was drowning in worry, anxiety, and depression, none of which were helpful emotions.
"Fine, but you can't die on me, Red. I'll make magic real, bring you back to life, and then scold you for not fighting harder. Don't you dare start giving up before you have even started to fight!"
"It's grown." Her voice was barely above a whisper filled with regrets and utter sorrow.
"Has it spread?"
"Yes, it's in my lymph nodes now. They are starting baby boy on steroids so he can come out sooner without any problems." Her hands ran across her stomach protectively as she gazed upon it with such deep love.
She wasn't just worried for herself, but for him, too.
Unable to contain myself, my arms wrapped around her tightly, embracing her into my chest. She can't die. Red cried into my shirt for a while, letting everything she had been holding back come out. All I could do for a while was just sit here and cry with her. Collecting myself from the terrible news, I forced my tears to stop, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her back.
"You're not going to die, Red. You are going to fight this, and you're going to come out of the other side just fine." She held my gaze, her eyes pink and watery with tears. "Don't make Hailey and I honor you if we ever have a baby girl. Be there for us, for our kid. You need to make it, because none of us can live without you."
"I'm scared," she admitted, clutching her shirt just over her chest, alluding to the pain she must be feeling deep in her heart.
"We're all here for you, for Abi, and even for Lucas. You have support from a million different people. There is nothing you need to fear. You hear me? You can do this. I know you can."
She nodded, allowing more tears to spill. It took her another moment or two before she fully calmed, sniffling as she wiped her tears away. She explained she still had an 80 percent chance of survival, and I convinced her those were still good odds. That 20 percent loomed over both of our heads, but I pushed it aside, trying to focus on the positives the way Hailey does. Red told me she and Lucas found out yesterday, and it nearly killed them. Lucas was out with Abi right now, trying to keep things normal for her despite what was happening.
"Thank you for coming, Ian." She hugged me at the door as she walked me out. I had the small box of journals in my hands, as she refused to let me leave without them. These will be sitting in my closet forever. I am not sure I can bear to read them, at least not for a while.
"Any time, Red. Don't leave us hanging the way you did. We're here for you, okay?"
She nodded, stepping back from our hug, but as she did, she suddenly paled. She seemed as white as a sheet as her eyes rolled back, and she began to fall. I barely caught her in time, hastily dropping the box, causing the journals to scatter everywhere.
"Oh my God! Red!" I patted her cheek. "Red?!"
Nothing.