Ian's POV
As we made our way to the car, thoughts of what I had done to Hailey kept popping into my head, feeding into my lustful hormones. It had honestly been a while since I'd had any kind of intimacy with a woman, making me hungrier than usual. It was silent as I drove us in the direction of her penthouse, all the while she was on her phone texting someone. I found the texting somewhat more irritating than I probably should have, feeling like she was ignoring me for someone else. I pushed past that feeling, not having any right to say anything. She doesn't owe me her time.
"Okay, I've given you enough time to wallow," she finally said, placing her phone face down on her lap.
"Wallow? Who's wallowing?" I pinched my brows.
"Be serious. You are totally wallowing. We just had a nice time with Liv, and I'm sure you're overthinking everything that has to deal with her right now." She crossed her arms with an attitude as she eyed me. Her words revealed something to me that I had not even noticed- Red wasn't on my mind. The entire ride, all I had been thinking about was Hailey. I had thought of what we did, who she was texting, and what she was feeling, but Red had not crossed my mind once.
"I wasn't thinking about Liv." I think this is the first time I've said those words truthfully. On countless occasions, I have said this, but never once has it been true- not until today.
"Yeah, sure, and I'm an angel sent from heaven." She rolled her eyes, not believing me for a second.
"Revealing hearts?" I asked her, for once wanting to play enough to start the game.
"Fine, but I'm going first," she answered, sitting up further in her chair just as I pulled into a parking spot. "If you weren't thinking about Liv, what were you wallowing about?"
"You," I answered her honestly, looking into those chocolate eyes as I turned off the engine. Hailey went so silent, you would think I stole her voice. "Are you upset about what I did before Liv called? Did I go too far?"
Taking a moment to compose herself again, Hailey shook her head as she answered. "I'm not upset, and you certainly didn't take it too far." I could tell she was telling the truth by the way she held my gaze with nothing but sincerity. "Do you regret doing it?"
"Not exactly," I answered honestly, per the rules of the game. "I enjoyed it, but it probably wasn't the smartest thing for me to do. Do you want to pretend like it didn't happen and forget all about it?"
"What? No! It happened, and I'm adult enough to say I enjoyed it." She seemed upset that I had even mentioned forgetting it. "Do you want to do that?"
"Not particularly." I looked away as these mixed emotions continued to grow inside of me. They confused me to no end, throwing me into the depths of my turmoil. "I just- I don't know. I don't want to confuse whatever this is. It already feels like the line is so blurry in this fake relationship."
"If neither of us want to pretend it didn't happen, and we don't want to forget about it, what comes next?"
"Not your turn, Hailey," I reminded her with a wink. "What do you want to happen? You started this whole thing. Set the rules."
I decided to leave what comes next up to her. This entire thing started because of her, it's only fair that she decided its course. It might not have been something I would have ever come up with myself, but I'm glad I decided to go through with this facade of hers. It's been the most alive I've felt in years. In less than a month, Hailey has managed to knock down a few of my walls and open me up to the world. I hate to admit it, but I'm actually really enjoying myself.
"We go as far as we like, but if either of us gets uncomfortable, we stop. I won't push those boundaries any more than you are okay with. That's a promise." She had her playful smirk spread across those delicious lips of hers. "Remember, I don't believe in love, so you don't have to worry about me getting anything confused here. Are you okay with that?"
"I'm okay with that," I confirmed, but for some reason, her last comment bothered me. Is she really so scared of getting her heart broken that she won't even allow herself to fall in love? "What would make you believe in love again?" I asked her. For some reason, I desperately needed to know.
"I would really have to trust a guy, I guess. I mean, I know love is real, it's not like I'm that crazy. It's just something I try to avoid, so I don't get hurt the same way I've seen others hurt." She picked at the side of her nail as she spoke, as if she were now ashamed of this fact. "What would make you finally move on from Liv?" She asked me something I have been asking myself for years now.
"That's hard to answer. I want to say that it's as simple as finding the right girl, but I don't know if these feelings would ever go away. I think I am always going to love Liv, just probably in a different way," I answered, now staring out of the windshield at the concrete wall before me.
"I get that. I think I feel that way about Dan. He's a great guy, but I panicked when I fell in love with him. I broke his heart so he wouldn't break mine. Kind of selfish, huh?"
"Yeah, that was a pretty shitty thing to do." I took her hands, having her stop the torment on her nails. "I get it, though, because this heartache is hard to live with." She squeezed my hands, nodding her head as her eyes misted over.
"What would make you trust a guy enough to fall in love with him?" I wanted her to tell me now, while she was feeling raw and vulnerable.
"He would have to put me first before something else he loved. If he could choose me over the game he loved, the car he cherished, the old friend he once knew... then I would know that I was the most important person in his life. I have to see it, they can't just tell me. They don't necessarily have to give up that thing, but they should put me before it." I nodded my head, understanding what she meant. "Will you come upstairs with me?" she asked, looking so emotional now with her eyes misted over. Seeing her like this made it impossible to tell her no, so I nodded my head and said yes.
"Only if you let me hold you again." I smirked, knowing that she could probably use the affection but that she wouldn't ask for it.
"Deal," she said, allowing herself to give me a small smile.