Hailey's POV
I could see Ian dying to chase after Liv as she ran down to the bathroom. Had I hurt her? Was Ian the thing she wanted but couldn't have, and I took it? I know he was her first love, the guy who meant a lot to her in high school. Did she harbor some feelings for him that I didn't know about?
I looked over at Lucas, whose jaw was clenched hard enough to crack a tooth. Was this what they argued over? Ian? Is Lucas worried, too? I know Liv better than to think she would ever do anything with Ian. She loves Lucas with all of her heart, and she would never betray him like that. I could see that Lucas wasn't so sure of the fact, so as the best friend, it was my duty to make sure he saw she wouldn't.
"Lucas, do you remember when you got into that accident on your way home? It was over a year ago now, and you broke your arm."
"Yeah, of course I remember. I hated that cast so much," he replied while feeding Abi a bite of spaghetti. "What about it?"
"Liv told me that was the moment you guys told each other how much you really loved one another, but what's funny is we had spoken about her telling you how she truly felt before your accident. I think the thought of losing you pushed her to say it then and there. She really can't imagine life without you." I know my words were probably hurting Ian, but he needs to realize that Liv is not going to leave Lucas. Not ever. Not even for him.
"I can't imagine it without her. She's my Rose." Lucas stared out in the direction she had run off to. He now seemed more concerned than anything. "I am sure she's fine with you two dating. It just might take her a second to process it." I gave him a curt nod, hoping he was right. "I am glad you found someone good, Ian, but did it really have to be her best friend?" The question seemed a bit harsh, and in all reality, Ian wasn't the one to pursue me.
"I asked him out, actually," I admitted, taking the heat off Ian.
"Seriously?" Lucas gave me that look he gets when he's trying to figure out the deeper meaning, or intent, behind someone's action. I wonder what exactly he's thinking.
"I'm sorry about that. I just had to use the bathroom. What did I miss?" Liv asked with a strained smile as she plopped in her chair. Something was up, but I'll let her tell me about it when she's ready.
Dinner continued, and Liv tried her best to appear normal. She teased and cracked jokes as she asked Ian and me questions. It seemed she was genuinely curious about how this all started, but neither of us wanted to admit how we began. I doubt Lucas would be happy if he knew it was a fake relationship at first so that Ian could stay friends with Liv.
I really am such an idiot. I can't believe I ever let myself believe that Ian could let Liv go. No, he let me go the moment he saw her in the doorway. I don't think anyone has ever let go of my hand that fast before. Perhaps it was because he was worried about what Liv would do if she knew we were dating. Something tells me that wasn't the case, though. He wants her.
I love Liv so much, but how can she not see the way Ian feels about her? She needs to distance herself from him a little so he can learn to let her go. This fake relationship is due to end soon. I can't let my heart get muddled with his. He's the most unattainable guy I've ever dated. I won't let my heart get crushed, not when I've kept it guarded this long. Ian won't be my undoing. I won't allow it.
"Thank you, guys, for coming," Liv said, giving us a hug at the door. Lucas was giving Abi her bath, having already said his goodbyes at the table.
"Thanks for having us. Now go make up with your husband, and don't use us to not work through whatever is going on." I pointed my finger at her, knowing full well why she had invited us.
"I didn't. I just- " She stopped her protest, realizing I wasn't going to buy it. "Yeah, okay. Love you, Hails."
"Love you, too, Liv."
Ian said his goodbye next, letting their hug linger as usual. It made my chest tighten more than I thought possible. Merida. He's already dug too deep inside of me. Getting Ian out of my system is going to take time, but I need to do it. I can't keep this up. This relationship needs to end before it becomes anything more.
Ian and I headed towards his car, but once I heard Liv's door close, I decided to speak my mind. I stopped, standing halfway between the car and the house. Ian turned to face me, realizing I had halted. His perfect brow furrowed at me in question before he stepped back towards me.
**Song Suggestion: Superhero by Hayd**
"What's wrong?" He held his hand out towards me, but I didn't plan on taking it. I crossed my arms so he could see that.
"You are never going to let her go, are you? You're going to be forever in this loop, and I don't want to be a part of that. I think we should go back to the way things were when we first started this. Just a way to keep my dad off my back and nothing more. A way for you to make Lucas think you're not madly in love with his wife." It was harsh, I know, but I was so angry, feeling so used. Am I a placeholder?
"Hailey, I- it's- " He couldn't find the words because anything he would say to comfort me would be a lie.
"Just go home, Ian. I will get an Uber or something."
"No. I am taking you home at least. Get in the car, Hailey." Ian was being stern, which surprised me enough to make me comply.
We drove in absolute silence, which was the complete opposite of the drive to Liv's. The mood had soured tremendously, and I wasn't going to be the one to try to fix it this time. If the silence bothers him- if my mood bothers him- he can work to fix it. He pulled up to the front entrance of my building, and I immediately got down. I didn't waste time with a goodbye, just marching straight inside without looking back.
"Hailey!" I heard him call after me, but I didn't turn. Tonight proved to me that I had let him in further than I should have. I know better than this, but my mind deluded me into thinking maybe Ian could fall for me. Is that really what I want? Do I want Ian to fall in love with me? What would that do?
No, it's stupid. I continued my march toward the elevator, but as the doors opened and I stepped in, Ian followed behind me. We were the only two in the elevator, allowing for more privacy than I would have liked. Ian closed the space between us, cupping my face gently with his hand. His blue eyes caught mine, not letting me look away.
"I like you, Hailey. More than I ever intended to," he said, scaring me with his words. "You're the most amazing woman I've ever met. Your smile brings a light to my world that I don't want to let go. I am sorry I hurt you today. It was never my intention, not earlier and not at Liv's either. You're right, a part of me loves her, but that part has been dwindling each passing day I spend with you."
"It doesn't seem that way to me." I can't let myself fall for his words. I have to stay guarded.
"I know I fucked up tonight, but please don't give up on me, Hailey. It's going to take a while for me to fully get over Liv, but I promise it will happen. You're the only person who has ever made me forget about her for long stretches of time. The only person who is able to push me further, to pull me out of the depression I've been living in for years. Please, Hailey. Tell me what you want from me. Do you like me at all?" His eyes held deep uncertainty as he looked at me. I could see his vulnerability clearly as he waited for my answer.
"Of course I like you. That's the problem. I like you a lot more than I should, and it feels like I'm setting myself up for heartbreak. You're too damn perfect, too sweet, too handsome. Carajo, Ian. What am I supposed to do? Just allow you to keep putting me second to Liv?" I shook my head, knowing full well that this was a terrible idea. "Your actions tonight proved to me that you will choose her over me in an instant. Just go home, Ian."
I pushed past him as the elevator doors opened, making my way to the penthouse. Sadly, Ian didn't follow this time. Maybe he realized how right I was. Perhaps he came to his senses and saw how terrible an idea this was. I raced to my room, grateful that Christin was at work. She would read the sadness on my face in an instant. I quickly wiped away the tear that slid down my cheek, holding my head up high. There's no way I'm going to cry tonight. Nope, nu-uh.
But when I laid my head down on my pillow, that's all that happened. I think I might already love Ian. Fuck!
I stared down at the two lines indicating a positive pregnancy test with utter shock. My eyes widened in surprise before my lips spread into a wide smile.
"Oh my gosh, congrats, Liv! I can't believe you're having another baby." I squealed excitedly, feeling so happy for my best friend. She showed up at my door this morning without warning. Thankfully, I had already hidden the evidence of my sorrowful night. "What did Lucas say?"
"I haven't told him yet. I plan to tonight, just wasn't sure how." For some reason she looked worried, which was odd to me.
"Are you worried about work? You know they can't fire you for being pregnant." I tried to assure her, thinking maybe that was the case.
"Yeah, I know, speaking of, I need to get going. I don't want to be late. I just wanted to let you know that last night I got up because I was feeling sick to my stomach. You and Ian being together did not upset me, okay? In fact, the familiar feeling of morning sickness yesterday evening is what urged me to get a pregnancy test this morning. I am happy for you and Ian, so please don't hold back on my account." She squeezed my hand with a small smile. I could tell there was something she was holding back, but I wasn't sure what.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course! Are you kidding? I wanted you two together for a while now." She laughed, and hearing that definitely eased some of my guilt about keeping things secret from her.
"Thanks, Liv. But I'm not sure if we are going to continue this. I don't think Ian would ever like me as much as I want him to." I shrugged, staring at our hands.
"Are you kidding? He's worried you don't like him. We talked about you the last time we hung out, but I didn't know it was you at the time." She laughed again. "Oh, the irony."
"He talked to you about me?" For some reason, that made me excited. It relieved some of the sadness I had been feeling.