Someone was shaking me awake and it was getting annoying. I swatted the hand away again, but it came back like it did whenever I tried to get rid of it.
I wished I could open my eyes and slap the person so hard that they would find it difficult to get their bearings for a week, but I had to open my eyes first and I was too tired to open them.
I had been by Dad’s side for almost a week now with little to no sleep because I wanted to see if he would wake up and those sleepless nights had finally gotten to me.
Just like he did a week ago, Duke had forced me to get some sleep and that was barely an hour ago. The moment my head hit my bed after taking a much-needed shower, I wanted to kiss Duke in appreciation as I had been on the brink of death from how exhausted my body was.
The delay in Dad’s consciousness was taking a toll on the staff and their hope was slowly fading away with time. They seemed to have given up altogether because they had heard that he was not going to recover so now all they did was throw me pitiful looks which I hated more than anything.
“Young mistress, you have to wake up” Josephine pleaded, and I groaned in frustration.
What did she have against me? Lately, I had been having too much contact with her, and she was always there to nag me on behalf of Duke.
“Leave me alone, Josephine. I am too tired” I managed to grumble but she would not let me be.
She was annoying lately, and I should tell Duke to get rid of her as soon as I got the strength to wake up.
“Young mistress, your father is awake and dying. You need to see him” She snapped and slapped me hard across my back which startled me awake.
The strength I had been lacking had suddenly manifested itself as I sat up straight and turned to her with large, panicked eyes.
“Dad is awake?” I stumbled out of bed and almost planted my face against the wall in my effort to run out of the room, but steady hands gripped me to stop me before I could make the fall.
“Thank you,” I said to her and rushed out of the room.
The mind was a terrible thing because suddenly, just as I pulled my door open, my legs screeched to a stop, and I felt my whole body go stiff with fear.
With numb hands, I tried to steady myself against the wall before I turned to Josephine who was looking at me with pity that made my skin crawl.
“What did you just say?” I whispered slowly as though that would change the answer.
“I said your father was awake” Her voice trembled as she spoke, but she knew that wasn’t what I wanted to know.
“You know what I am asking so, complete it. What did you say?” I asked but this time my voice was so loud, and it made her jump back from shock.
“You need to hurry, young mistress. You don’t have a lot of time”
No….
It can’t be happening now. It was too soon. I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. This wasn’t the fucking plan.
“Hazel” Josephine called using my name and my gaze snapped to hers “You need to move before it is too late” Her voice was stern as she spoke and that was all it took to get me moving.
I ran down the hallway to Dad’s bedroom and once again, everyone was gathered at the door. This time, they didn’t have worry on their faces, but tears streamed down their faces instead.
I opened the door and stepped into the room. Unlike the first time he woke up, he was not smiling, and I didn’t think he was aware that I was in the room.
Dad looked smaller now and he no longer had the oxygen mask they had given him last week because he didn’t need it anymore.
Duke and Doctor Martin left the room as I walked in. Before he passed, Duke laid his hand on my shoulder and gave me a little squeeze.
“Get a grip. He is already scared. He may not say it or look like it but trust me, he is. Try to make him comfortable” Doctor Martin whispered to me before he left the room.
I didn’t know how long I stood there just staring at my dad as he took slow and painful gulps of breaths. He turned to the door and looked slightly shocked to see me standing there.
"Hey, princess” he gasped, and I choked on my tears at how much he struggled to say those two little words. I ran to his side and slid my knees to the floor.
“Dad” I cried brokenly as he tried to smile. I wanted to be calm like the doctor said but it was easier said than done.
“Stop crying, please” He begged, and I nodded my head. I tried to swallow my tears, but it was so difficult.
“I’m trying but it’s hard” I confessed.
“I know it’s hard but try for me” he whispered, his voice coming out in short breaths and it was scary for me to see. I looked into his eyes and saw fear lingering in them.
“You remember the first time I cooked a meal and almost burnt down the house? I had been so mad because I believed there was nothing I could do wrong so I locked myself in my room for two days without food and you had to break down the door”
“Yeah, I remember..” He started wheezing trying to gulp in more air and my hands flew to my mouth as I watched him struggle.
“Daddy don’t say anything. I will do the talking just listen okay” I told him when he had calmed down. Tears were running down his face from the struggle. I used my hand to clean the tears.
“Okay,” he whispered weakly.
“My life was better because I had you, you know? My friends didn’t like hanging out with me. It was not because I didn’t want to like I told you, but because I always found a way to brag about how cool my dad was” The memory brought a smile to my face.
The friends I had back then were amazing people, but they got tired of me when I kept on talking about my dad and how amazing he was. One of my friends had said I was trying to make their parents look shitty and they had stopped talking to me.
“I didn’t mind losing them because I had you. You were always there for me, no matter how busy you were. You would always find time to attend all my school activities, and you don’t even know how much it meant.” I watched him with pain and disappointment in myself. I have never felt so hopeless before.
“Then, people would say it was normal for rich kids to have absent parents at events but that was not the case for me. You never made me feel like mom wasn’t there and you always put me first, something no one would be capable of doing any more”
I slid my hands into his and felt him squeeze mine weakly. He was slowly falling asleep. He was trying so hard to keep his eyes open, but I could see it was so much of a struggle.
“Don’t hold on any longer, Daddy. I know you are holding on just for me but I hate to see you in so much pain so you can let go, Dad. I will be fine, I promise”
At this point, I couldn’t stop the tears from pouring down my face. I didn’t make any sound. I bowed my head and tried as hard as I could to swallow my tears. I had to do this.
“I always told myself I wanted to marry someone like you and also be a parent just like you. I know I would try my best to be a parent like you, but the husband part may not be possible anymore. Atticus isn’t exactly a lovely person at least from what I’ve seen” his eyes were now closed, and his breathing was so shallow that I could barely hear it.
“I’ll never forget you, Daddy. I want you to know that. Just like you never forgot Mom, I’ll do the same for you both. It was an honour being your daughter”
His hands went slack, and the line went dead. I became numb.