It had been three days since Atticus walked out of my father’s bedroom after we signed the documents that bound us legally as husband and wife and there had been no contact from him ever since.
Not that I was expecting any form of communication with him or anything but somehow, for reasons unknown to me, I felt a little ache at being so blatantly tossed aside because that was what it was.
He didn’t need to do anything for me neither did he owe me anything. I knew he was trying to let me know that he didn’t care and that was to be expected since we were strangers, and I hated myself for feeling pissed about it.
I dropped the cloth I had been using to wipe Dad’s cold and stiff body. He was running a temperature so I decided to clean him with a cold cloth to see if I could reduce his fever.
Dad had been unconscious since yesterday and I had made sure not to leave his side. I wanted to be the first person he saw when he woke up.
I’m sure I smelt terrible since I hadn’t taken a shower since yesterday, but I didn’t care. I was too scared to eat or even take a shower and I had to also ignore my stomach’s plea to eat because I didn’t think I could keep anything down even if I tried.
My hands were shaking as I reached out to adjust his blankets so that he would not get cold. My thoughts were unstable, and I could not process anything even as my mind was clouded with thoughts.
This was obviously his final moments, but I needed him not to leave me like this. I wanted to talk to him more, see his eyes more and hear him laugh before he left me. It wasn’t fair to deprive me of that.
“Please Dad, wake up. Don’t leave me like this, I beg you” My chest ached, and my eyes watered as pain engulfed me. The thought of him finally leaving was so painful, I was finding it difficult to breathe.
“Miss Hazel, breathe slowly, try to breathe” I could hear someone trying to talk to me, but my vision was getting blurry, and my breath was coming out in pants.
My ears were ringing and the voice trying to calm me down suddenly felt like nails against my skin, so I pulled away from the skin
“Hurry, call the doctor” the voice spoke up again and I tried to shake my head. I tried to get myself to calm down by taking small breaths.
Soon, I could feel my vision clear, and I tried to sit up, not even knowing when I had left the chair I was sitting on and landed on the floor.
When I was seated on the chair, I looked around to see the staff crowded in the hallways. I suddenly felt irritated and annoyed with myself for causing such a scene.
The looks of pity, sympathy and worry on their faces were making me so furious that I almost wished I could wipe it off their faces. They should not give me that look. I was not a pitiful person, and I was not asking for anyone’s sympathy.
Someone handed me a glass of water and I took it and muttered a low thank you before taking a sip and handing the cup back to him.
Duke must have sensed how my mood had turned foul because he ushered all the staff out of the room and shut the door after them. I dropped my head into my palm and let out a deep breath as I felt myself finally calm down.
“Do you think I am overreacting? Can one even overreact when about to lose a loved one? I feel pathetic” I asked Duke.
I was frustrated and I felt pathetic that I was acting this way but wasn’t it normal? Do people not also act this way?
“It’s perfectly okay to cry and be overwhelmed with emotion. It is not easy to see your loved one lying unconscious especially when you know there is no hope of recovery. It is a difficult thing to experience” I should feel a sense of relief at his consoling words, but I could not. Not when I knew a but was lingering somewhere.
“But?” I urged him to speak because I knew he had more to say but was hesitant maybe not to hurt me, but I would rather hear and take what he said than live in the dark.
“But I think you should be stronger and not let yourself be too overwhelmed. Your father is about to leave you a fortune and you are married to a powerful man. You would get a lot of people who would want to harm you especially because of your husband. Some women would do anything to be his wife, and you have taken that spot, so you don’t have the opportunity to show weakness”
“Why would anyone want to harm me because of a man?” It was ridiculous to think that there were women who would hurt me just because I was married to Atticus. I knew he was wealthy and would have girls fawning over him but for them to go that far for a man.
“You are getting it all wrong my dear. Not just for the man himself, but also for the power he holds” Now that made sense.
“I am not planning to let anyone walk all over me, Duke. Crying now doesn’t make me weak. They aren’t here to see me like this.” I insisted but Duke shook his head in disagreement.
“It starts now. If you aren’t able to control yourself now in such a delicate situation, how would you manage in worse situations?” he argued.
“I doubt anything could be worse than seeing Dad die slowly without being able to help him” What other unfortunate incident could I possibly go through that would be more painful than this?
“You’ll see when you get there but at the same time, I hope you never experience that”
I couldn’t reply to him so we just stood there and watched Dad as he slept, if I could even call it that.
We stood there for some time before there was a knock on the door. Duke told the person to come in and Josephine walked in. She was holding a little bag, and she handed it over to Duke as soon as she approached us. After she handed the bag to Duke, she left the room immediately.
“It seems that your wedding and engagement rings have arrived. Mr Hayland sent them” Duke handed the bag to me which I collected with a little hesitation.
“Engagement ring? Why would he send an engagement ring when we were never engaged?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps, he wants it to seem like there was an engagement first before marriage, but either way, you have to wear both since he sent them”
I opened the bag and pulled out the black velvet ring box that was inside. The box was smooth. I opened it and gasped when I saw the rings inside.
The engagement ring was an 18k clear cut and crystal diamond ring. It was really beautiful and would draw the attention of everyone and I couldn’t help but feel proud.
The wedding band was just a simple gold ring with little clear diamonds on it. I slid the engagement ring on first then the wedding band. It was a bit heavy but not uncomfortable.
I lifted my fingers to inspect the rings. They looked like one ring that had two layers and it was stunning. Not to brag, but my slender fingers made the ring look more beautiful.
“I must say, Mr Hayland has amazing taste. You should call him to tell him thank you” Duke suggested, and I turned to him with squared shoulders.
“Why should I tell him thank you? If he couldn’t bother to let me know he was sending the rings, then I wouldn’t bother to tell him thank you” I was even surprised that he even sent the rings because I definitely wasn’t expecting it.
“You should not behave that way” Duke scolded but I ignored him and went back to sit down so I could admire the rings properly. I didn’t care who they came from, I was a sucker for pretty things and the rings were stunning.
“I feel like a married woman now that I am wearing his ring”
“You would do amazing. Your mother would have been proud” Mom also loved pretty things.
If what I remembered of her was correct, she would squeal at the sight of the rings and would not stop flaunting them.
The memories of her made my belly warm and I couldn't help but smile at that. It’s been a while since I was able to think of Mom and not cry. I had foolishly allowed the pain of her death to cloud the good memories I had of her. I would never do that again.
“I just wish Dad would wake up and spend his final moments with me. I know he is in so much pain, and I want him to no longer be in pain, but he can’t leave me like this”
“He would see you before he leaves. Your father loves you too much to leave without saying goodbye” Duke told me.
I wanted to tell Duke that death didn’t recognize or acknowledge love, but I held my tongue back and prayed in my heart that his words would become true.
My stomach chose that moment to embarrass me as it grumbled loudly, and my cheeks clouded up in embarrassment.
“When last did you eat, young mistress?” Duke asked, his eyes narrowing with suspicions.
“Uhm, this morning?” I almost smacked myself at the stupid and obvious lie because who would believe that?
“You would go downstairs and have something to eat else you won’t be allowed in here for the rest of the day”
“You can’t do that” I exclaimed with wide eyes.
“Sure, I can. I would not have you falling sick when your father is in that state” he said gesturing to Dad and my resolve crumbled.
I stood up and walked towards the door. I would just eat something and come back as soon as I could.
“You better eat a proper meal and take a shower before coming back here” He called after me and I swore at him in my head.
He knew me way too well. Guess I wouldn’t be coming back as early as I wanted.