Estrella
I scratch at the second plain, shapeless Dun's Crossing dress I've worn in four days and try not to cry. My gown lies on the floor of that ridiculous room Anwen took me to, and as much as I'll miss it, I think I'll be happier if I never see it again. My scalp aches from leaving the braids and pins in all night. The soreness between my legs makes it impossible to forget what I did.
'Strella?' Tess calls. 'Your mother said you were looking into things, but I'm starting to worry. Just tell me you're not dead.'
I swallow against a lump in my throat. My heart still feels like a dead thing in my chest, like it stopped beating with Father's. In some ways, I'm grateful for that. If it weren't frozen, I might have to deal with what just happened with Anwen.
The soft, fragile hope in his pale eyes claws at my still chest. It doesn't hurt any more than the mark on my shoulder, than the sinking feeling I've just left my mate for the last time. Tess will never understand. But I know what she's truly asking.
'I am alive,' I reply.
'Thank the Goddess,' she breathes. 'Have you learned anything?'
That I cannot trust anyone here. That the Goddess has a cruel sense of humor. That Sundrop Gem is about to have its first unmarried Luna in a century.
'Nothing worth sharing.'
'All right.' She pauses carefully. 'Your mother and Castor are going to spend the day in your mother's chambers, if you find a moment to come by.'
I let that message hang, unanswered. I have no idea where I am in this castle. And if I return to my family, I'll have to explain the dress, my absence, the sick nausea of everything Anwen told me. I'll have to take on the duties of Luna and lead my people.
The tiny handful of them here.
Last night, I manifested some magic. It washed through me with the Goddess' gentle warmth, just like Mother and Father always said it would. But instead of producing light or heat, I bought Father another few minutes, the minutes he needed to say his goodbyes. I've never heard of a power like that, but if it can restore things, I need it now more than ever.
I squeeze my hands into shaking fists, just like I did last night. No glow.
"We love you," I whisper.
No glow.
I clench my fists until my still-sharp nails draw blood from my palms. No glow. No feeling of the Goddess guiding me. Nothing. Whatever magic I held is gone.
Just like Father.
Footsteps echo off the walls ahead of me, and my heart hammers. I need to hide. No one can see the Luna like this. But I look around and find myself in a featureless hallway, without even a tapestry to duck behind like a child. I scrub my eyes and hope.
Nessa rounds the corner and sees me. "Oh, hon."
That breaks me. Everything hurts, and I am lost, and I am alone except for this strange girl who has been nothing but kind to me. Tears sheet down my face.
Nessa closes the distance between us and wraps her arms around me. "Just let it out."
My shoulders shake with ugly sobs, and Nessa simply strokes my frizzing hair. We stand there, entwined, until my tears dry up.
She pulls back and looks at me. "You stayed in my room all night."
I blink. "What?"
"I know that dress, hon." She strokes a few curls off my face. "So does half the castle. Which means you're going to come with me, get changed, and we're going to tell everyone you stayed in my room after Prince Anwen was needed for the investigation."
My cheeks burn. I had my suspicions, watching Anwen at the ball, but Nessa doesn't need to say another word to confirm every one. I don't even know if that room is kept for royalty in need, or just for Anwen to bed women he's too ashamed to bring to his royal bedchamber.
"Thank you," I say.
"You've been through enough." Nessa takes my hand and begins leading me through the palace.
Like Anwen, she takes a series of back routes and hidden passageways. Every time we hear voices, she knows the exact room to duck into for a moment of peace. We don't see a soul on the way to her room, for which I'm grateful. The soft pressure of her hand keeps me teetering on the edge of collapse in a way I know a Luna should not be.
Finally, she pulls me into her room. It's set up very much like mine-a few seats around a fireplace, a bed, a separate washroom-but it's smaller, less luxurious.
She nods to a door on the far wall. "That leads to Father's room. I think he's actually with your family, so there shouldn't be much to worry about, but it's way less soundproof than the rest of this place."
"With my family?" I eye the door and drift away.
"Mm-hmm." She opens a wardrobe to reveal a wide array of dull earth tones and a few brights at the end. "The Solbergs are running themselves ragged after the assassin, so in honor of King Andri, Father took it upon himself to ensure you had company as well as an army."
I sink to the couch. "An army."
"That's sort of how the Solbergs solve problems," Nessa says. "Action first, emotions never."
I blink and turn to her. "It seems as though most of the normal diplomatic conventions have collapsed, so I'll just ask. At the breakfast, there seemed to be something between you and the king and queen."
"You're a little shorter than me, so I'm going to have to put you in one of my summer dresses. The winter ones will crumple right up," she says as though she didn't hear me.
"Nessa." I try to sound as important as this suddenly feels. "I am asking you as a friend, not as Luna of Sundrop Gem. I need to know more about our gracious hosts, and I suspect few others in this castle would tell me the truth."
She sighs and pulls a faintly purplish-gray dress from her wardrobe. "I don't like talking about this."
"And I apologize for asking." My eyes water. "But my father lies dead. I need to know."
"You can change behind that screen, if you like." She gestures to a folding screen, then pulls down the high neck of her dress to reveal four thin, jagged scars in a row. "Blanca-Queen Raven, as you know her-can control animals. Once, we were having a disagreement, and she sicced a cat on me. It nearly tore my throat open."
I gape. To have scars like that, as a shifter, Nessa must've been gravely injured. Or she wasn't allowed to see the royal healer and receive treatment.
She pulls her gown back into place. "But, truly, that was one incident. Queen Raven has very rarely attacked me since. Go, change."
I take the dress and duck behind the screen. "Very rarely?"
"There was a small encounter, following the coup against King Gavin," Nessa says reluctantly. "We never got along, and Queen Raven was enjoying her new power. She...blew me down a hallway. Told me never to bother her again or to leave the palace if I couldn't."
"Blew you?" I strip off Anwen's dress and pull Nessa's on over my head. "Does she have weather magic as well?"
"Powerfully," Nessa agrees.
I swallow sudden worry. Rumors of Escuro reached Sundrop Gem, but I had no idea what we were really dealing with. Mother has some magic, simple weather prediction and plant control from her original pack, and Castor hasn't come of age yet. We are outmatched, even though Dun's Crossing has no innate magic.
"And King Kieran." I step out from behind the screen. "He allows this?"
"He didn't used to." Nessa's smile wobbles at the edges. "When he realized the Moon Goddess led him to a woman he believed to be his sister, he spoke to me. Before the Haze, everyone expected-" She shakes her head like she can't say the words. "Well, I accepted the offer. It wasn't true love, but I thought we'd be happy together."
"And he turned on you." I cross the room to Nessa and pat her shoulder. I was right to warn Father. It seems the rumors of a new day in Dun's Crossing have been greatly exaggerated.
Nessa sniffs. "I'm sorry, I don't want to unload on you. You have enough going on right now."
"Perhaps it's the Luna in me speaking, but it's somewhat peaceful to immerse myself in other's problems." I offer her a soft smile. "If only for a moment."
She smiles back. "Thanks. But come on, your family is waiting."
***
In the bedchamber Mother and Father shared before last night, Castor sits on a couch in front of the fireplace, just staring into the flames. Tess and her father, Cristofer, stand against a wall like it's the only thing holding them up. Mother, still in her dressing gown, perches on the edge of the bed. Only Tess looks over when Nessa and I walk in.
'Are you all right?' she asks.
I nod to her then address the room.
"Apologies. I spent the night with Nessa after the investigation called Prince Anwen away, and I forgot to inform you." The lie burns slightly on my tongue.
"You scared me terribly," Mother says in a wispy voice I've never heard before. "You can't do that, Estrella. Not now."
My gut churns. I should have warned them.
"Do you know anything?" Cristofer asks dully. As my father's Beta, he'll be feeling the loss almost as intensely as Mother, Castor, and me.
"Not much." I tell them everything Anwen told me, but as if I learned it last night.
The room greets my meager revelations with silence. I don't truly know what else I expected.
"Where is Father?" I ask. "We have to prepare his body for burial before the journey home if he is to survive it intact."
Castor stands. His gray eyes look haunted, and dark bags speak to his sleepless night. "You were gone. Mother and I spoke with the envoy, Floyd Winters. As a Snowcrest Canyon wolf, he has offered to keep Father's body stable until the investigation concludes."
"Father's very good with his ice magic," Nessa says. "He'll make sure the king doesn't degrade from time or the ice itself. You'll be able to return him to the Goddess as cleanly as if he'd died the night before, no matter how long it takes."
Ice magic. Somewhere in this castle sits my frozen father, suspended as unnaturally as he'd been killed.
I look at my brother. "What are you saying, Castor?"
"We're not leaving until Father's murder is solved." His eyes burn with a hollow fire. "Until we get justice."
His words reignite the fire I felt staring at Anwen this morning and last night. Father deserves better. Sundrop Gem deserves better.
"I agree." I square my shoulders. "Do you have a culprit in mind?"
Castor grimaces. "Yes."