Estrella
My heart stopped in the moment Father's did. I have a vague and distant sense of being moved-someone says Father may be crushed if we don't-but no idea where I'm being sent. The noise of the ballroom dampens. There's less screaming, or at least, less outside of my head.
Father is dead. Not half an hour ago, I was dancing with him. And now, he's a body on a slab. That's the only way to describe the surface the soldiers place him on. A plank of wood, like a bed stripped of all its dressings. There's nowhere to hide on the slab, nothing to disguise the chilling stillness of his body. Mother stands over him, weeping and stroking his face. Castor sits on the ground with his back against the legs of the slab. I have no idea what I'm doing, other than staring at them.
Father is dead. I am dead.
"Shit. I forgot-Father said I had to-" Castor closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "As the eldest nonheritable Sollabella, I embrace the duty of announcement. Alpha King Isai Sollabella has taken his place among the stars. I introduce to the world Dowager Luna Suniva Sollabella and"-he opens his eyes and meets my gaze-"Luna Queen Estrella Sollabella of Sundrop Gem."
My stomach drops to my toes. The rest of the room ratchets into sharp focus. Bottles of herbs and other, stranger things line the walls. Soldiers stand at attention throughout the room, especially at the door. Not just soldiers. Dun's Crossing soldiers. Men belonging to the pack that let this happen.
And among them, talking quietly to the group at the door, is Anwen. My unwilling mate who nevertheless saw fit to insert himself into the deepest grief of my life.
I stand-it seems I sat on the floor at some point-and curtsy. "Thank you, brother. I accept this responsibility with a heavy heart. And as my first act as Luna, I demand answers from the crown prince of Dun's Crossing."
Anwen turns. "I am working on getting those, Estrella."
"Your Majesty," I snap.
He blinks. I watch his gaze trail from my face to Father's body and back again. Finally, he bows. "Apologies, Your Majesty."
"That's insufficient," I snarl. All that dead numbness burns away into some emotion too intense to name. "We came here at your behest. The rules of hospitality dictate our safety is your responsibility. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Anwen straightens. "I would say that, while I am crown prince of Dun's Crossing, I do not answer for the whole pack. For that, you want my brother."
"I don't want your brother." I take a step closer to him, ignoring the way the front of my dress pulls stickily at my skin. "He's not here. You are, Your Highness, and I demand answers from you."
He meets my gaze steadily. "I've told you all I know, Your Majesty. What further answers to do want from me?"
Behind me, I can feel Castor and Mother staring. I am making a scene, disturbing Father's deathbed like I used to disturb his sleep. But it's not as if he'll awaken now. I have nothing to lose but the respect of a few men whose opinions I couldn't care less about.
I step closer to Anwen, and he backs up. The soldiers part for him without a word.
"I want to know who did this," I say coldly. "I want to know why."
"We're pursuing those answers, but wanting them doesn't make them readily available," he replies.
Another step closer. Anwen opens the door and lets me chase him into the hall. The storm of emotions in my chest whirls on, unabated.
"Then tell me who let this happen," I demand. "Tell me how in the Moon Goddess' light did your people-did you miss an assassin intent on my father's life. Was this the plan all along? Did your precious brother pen the initial letter always intending to end up here?"
"If you'd just listen-"
"No!" My voice breaks, but I plunge onward. "I am Luna Queen of Sundrop Gem. I will spend the rest of my life listening. But right now, Prince Anwen of losing your title to an unborn baby, you will listen to me." I poke him in the chest, and he takes a final step away, his back hitting the wall of the empty hallway. "My father is dead, and you are going to tell me who's responsible."
Fire flickers in Anwen's eyes, but for once, he doesn't unleash it on me. Instead, he simply says, "I can't."
The storm of emotions explodes from my chest, and I throw myself at him with no idea what I'm going to do when I reach him. Perhaps no one is more surprised than me when I crush my mouth onto his, lapping up the taste of mint and whiskey I've been craving.
Anwen grabs my shoulders and pulls me off. Hot shame burns through me. I'm so foolish. No, I need a stronger word than that. He doesn't want me, he may be part of a plot to kill my father, and I'm throwing myself at him. Of course, he would reject me.
He swipes a thumb across my cheek, and wetness smears. Part of me wonders when I started crying.
"Come with me." He takes my hand and begins pulling me down the hall toward a low cacophony of voices.
'I'm going to look into the matter myself,' I tell Mother and Castor. 'You will know what I do.'
Before we reach the voices, Anwen leads me into a passage behind a tapestry which releases us into an empty hall I've never seen before. For a moment, I consider that Anwen is actually part of the plot, that he's pulled me away from my family to kill me next. Then, he opens a door and pulls me into an obviously unused bedchamber.
"The staff keeps a private room ready in case a member of the royal family ever needs it." He pulls me in and kisses me before I can ask anything else.
This time, when my dress sticks to me, I can't ignore it. A sob bursts from my lips.
Anwen pulls back. "Is this not-" He looks down at the bodice of my dress, where I can't look but know he'll see it stained bright red. "Turn around."
Following his orders is easier than thinking. He runs his fingers along the neck, clearly looking for the line of neat buttons I've seen on Dun's Crossing dresses. Still weeping, I grab one of his hands and put it on the last fold of my gown. He fidgets for a few moments, then manages to loosen the end.
My wolf howls, and I seize onto her wants. She can fall into his touch. She can let it swallow me whole.
My world narrows to the tips of Anwen's fingers as he traces the line of the folds. He's warmer to the touch than his icy demeanor suggests, and he's careful with my gown. Careful and decisive. With each tug, more and more of it falls away, becoming the length of fabric it truly is. His scent fills my nose. My mate, my one and only.
The silken fabric slides from my body, now little more than a loincloth. Crisp air whisks through the window and snarls in the cooling wetness remaining on my stomach. All that remains of Father.
My wolf slinks away, leaving me to myself.
Anwen sucks in a sharp breath, and I expect him to keep touching me. Instead, he shucks his jacket and black shirt, baring his chest, and wipes at the wetness. There's no doubt in his movements, just calm. I only know it's done when the air across my stomach feels the same as it does everywhere else.
I shove my hands into his hair and kiss him.
Now, in private, he responds hungrily. His teeth tear at my lower lip, his hands grope every inch of my bare body. My wolf roars back, and I throw myself at him. For every dazzling spark of pain he deals, I offer him one in return. I claw down his back, pull on his hair, bite him as he bites me. He hardens against me.
This is nothing like the Haze. I am completely present. Here, and now, and nowhere else.
I yank the final fold of my dress, and the fabric tumbles to the floor. Anwen growls into my mouth, then runs his hands down my back and lifts me by the underside of my thighs. I wrap my legs around him and rock against the ridge of his bare chest. Sweet friction.
He tosses me down on the bed, but he's on me before I even have a moment to miss him. He puts his teeth to my neck, and bright spots of aching pain bloom in his wake. Bruises, like the ones Tess sports after her nights with Orion. Anwen isn't being careful anymore.
That thought threatens to send me crashing from the bliss of his touch, and that's unacceptable. I shove my hand between my legs like he did that first night and try to find the spot that made me see stars. Anwen chuckles against my throat, scrapes my teeth over my mark. Until now, I didn't even notice it had stopped hurting.
"Here." He takes my fingers and guides them to a soaked nub of flesh.
I arch up into him with a moan as we make contact. Instinct takes over. I circle the nub in time with Anwen's racing heartbeat, pounding through his chest into mine. He drops his mouth to my breasts and wrings noises I've never heard before from my lips. Seconds turn to minutes, turn to days in that space.
"I think you're ready," he murmurs against my skin.
I nod. Anything that gets me more of him, that takes me higher, I want. He unbuckles his pants and drops them. The scent of him doubles, triples, and my mouth waters. Someday, I'll taste him. For now, his cockhead brushes over my knuckles as he lines up with my entrance.
He meets my gaze and sinks in. There's a tiny ache, barely noticeable between the other marks he's left and the throbbing heart I'm ignoring. And then pure pleasure. I have never felt more whole, more right, than when Anwen hilts himself inside me.
I roll my hips against his, begging, and he obliges. Shameless moans pour from my lips. I sharpen the tips of my nails and claw at him again, pulling him closer, lapping up his pleased hisses. Pleasure threatens to overwhelm me, to swallow me whole, and I throw myself into it.
His name is on my lips when I come. Mine is on his a moment later. But as the high fades, my heart takes up its ache all over again.