Anwen
After breakfast, I give Kieran my notes. Floyd was nosy, as usual. The king and queen of Sundrop Gem seem to lead together. Prince Castor seems sulky. Nessa isn't trouble.
Kieran hums thoughtfully. "And Princess Estrella? She seems smart, involved."
"Yes," I say through gritted teeth.
"You don't like her." It's not a question.
Relief washes through me. If people think I hate her, perhaps they won't have to stick around. "Was it that obvious?"
My bite aches. That's fine.
Kieran snorts. "Get through two days without tearing her head off. Please."
I know the sound of a dismissal when I hear one, so I leave. Breathing clean air is a fucking blessing. I'm irritated all over again, certain that keeping away from Estrella is the right move.
'I know you're free,' Baz calls, his mental voice slurred with alcohol. 'Come get pissed with me.'
He'll be in the Blue Slipper, our favorite tavern in town. And honestly, even though it's not yet noon, a little bit of fuzz around my thoughts doesn't sound too bad. Drinking is the only going out I do these days anyway. I turn on my heel and head for a secret passage that will take me directly into town. Fuck the ball. Maybe I won't even go. That ought to make it easy to stay away from her.
'Don't pass out before I get there,' I reply.
Baz laughs in my thoughts. 'Run.'
I shake my head. If he has his way, I'll have the reputation of a playboy prince before winter comes. Not that that would require a change in my behavior. Just how careful I am.
Unbidden, my thoughts drift to Estrella, the night we shared. She showed her inexperience, but I'd be lying if I said I'd had a better orgasm. Is sleeping with other people going to be lackluster now? Have I doomed myself to life as a monk because nothing will ever be as good?
Instead of heading for Baz, I find myself pacing. He'll be expecting a bitter bachelor, and that means getting my head on straight.
Every time I run into Estrella, I just prove all over again why it would never work. When Kieran mated with Raven, he changed. Maybe not immediately. I remember the days of reports on his progress chasing her, Father stalking around the castle. We all believed him. But quickly enough, he staged a coup against his own father.
I march onto the upper balcony surrounding the ballroom, and conversation greets my ears.
"If he's going to treat you like garbage, he doesn't deserve you," a woman I don't recognize says.
I peer over the edge just as her partner speaks.
"But the Moon Goddess thinks he does," Estrella says.
Years of listening in corners fly out of my head in a single sharp exhale. Both of them look at me immediately. Estrella catches my gaze.
Her gray eyes are wet, like she's been crying.
My stomach churns. I'm the same Anwen that ran into those woods last night. I am my father's son, and I intend to take my time burying the man. With any luck, I'll bury the parts of me that are with him. At which point she'll be lost to me, which is exactly what I deserve.
Estrella turns on her heel and strides away. "Come on, Tess. There are better places to walk and talk."
My temper flares as my mark twinges. How dare she walk away from me? What have I done to her, really? She's humiliated me in front of my brother, insulted my father, and had the damnable timing to show up in the first place! A few impersonal remarks hardly count against that. She's in my house, and she ought to realize that.
The door shuts behind them with the same hollow slam I remember from all the times Father took Kieran into his office to teach him how to leave and shut the door in my face.
I grab my head in my hands. It feels like I'm being pulled in a thousand different directions, and it's only been one day. There's only one thing to do.
'Get pissed enough for the both of us,' I tell Baz. 'I need to run.'
I leap down from the balcony and land already shifted. There's something electric about shifting on the fly, the closest I think I'll ever come to having the powers so many people from other kingdoms possess. And there's a passageway in here I can open with nothing more than my nose.
In moments, the only things I can hear are the soft thud-thud, thud-thud of my paw pads on the packed dirt of the ground. The air down here is musty and stale, but I know what waits for me outside. The careful, politically masked Estrella I saw at breakfast today has nothing in common with the wild woman I tasted last night, but I agree with her on one thing: it's nearly impossible to stay in the palace all day with the forest outside. Everything makes so much more sense on four legs.
I burst out of the palace, into the midmorning sun. When I reach the walls, the guards open the gate without asking. I may have white fur like so many of our pack, but I lost the end of my tail in the first scuffle Father allowed me out on, so they know my profile from a distance. I pound out the back gate and into the welcoming trees, away from town.
The promise of rain hangs in the air. The last threads of the Haze, reeking of primal sex, drift in the wind. Fat, late autumn birds and rodents dot the trees. To my left, a ballsy herd of mist deer graze in a clearing. Out here, there are so many smells I can barely remember Estrella's.
As soon as I think that, I taste her on the wind and howl. The mist-deer leak fear pheromones.
Only a few wolves are fast enough to catch the beasts. But, unluckily for them, I'm one of the ones who can. I wheel in their direction, lengthening my stride and softening my landings.
When Kieran, Candace, and I were very young, Mother used to tell us bedtime stories occasionally. Bedtime story, really. After Finn and Ingrid arrived a few years later, she didn't have the time, but I can still recite the story off by heart because she retold it the day after my very first shift, and the rhythm of it is perfect for timing a wolf's strides.
When the Goddess makes a wolf, she gives three natures for Her three phases of the moon.
For the crescent, when She shows first glimpse, She gives scent. To hunt with eyes closed, with ears dead. Our gray wolves will always find Her.
For the gibbous, when She's near, She gives speed. To chase slickest prey, quickest enemy. Our white wolves will always catch Her.
For the full, when She bares Her face, She gives strength. To never falter, to fell great foes. Our silver wolves will always claim Her.
My breathing, my footfalls, even the extensions of my limbs fall into the old rhythm. All thoughts of Estrella fade away. My wolf slips over my mind with none of the animal hunger of last night. Just peace. I veer onto a hill that will let me overlook the clearing the mist-deer graze in.
Eight of them, and only one buck. His crystalline horns glint in the rays of sunlight that jut through the leaves overhead, casting rainbow patterns on his green-dappled coat. My stomach rumbles. I barely ate breakfast. I drop lower to the ground and prowl forward.
The wind shifts, and something new greets my nose. Not a prey smell. A predator one. Another wolf is out here, and not far.
That makes sense. Kieran said he invited representatives of other packs to the ball, and with Raven's power over animals, our missives arrive almost instantly. But something puts my hackles up. This wolf doesn't have the icy tinge of Snowcrest, the familiar grit of Dun's Crossing, or even the must of Escuro. I haven't noticed a throughline in Sundrop yet, but I know the four smells of their royalty, and it's nothing like any of those.
The wind shifts again, weakening their scent and ruffling my fur. And they take off.
I was preparing for a hunt.
I launch myself after the mystery wolf, pouring on all the speed I had saved for the mist-deer, who scatter as I charge. I half wish I'd brought Candace. Her gray wolf would sense things I can't even imagine. And she'd be able to hold the trail, despite the whipping winds that wreak havoc on my nose. I twist, run in one direction for a minute and then zag another way. The smell intensifies, weakens again. It's like chasing a ghost.
This wolf can't outrun me. No one can. But being fast doesn't make a difference if I'm running in the wrong direction.
When I look up, the sun nearly touches the horizon. I've spent hours out here, and I'm nearly out of mind-link range. My hackles raise again. If I were trying to set a trap, I'd do it exactly like this.
With a final, irritated howl, I wheel and head back to the palace.