Estrella
Tess stands behind me, pinning back sections of my hair in the setting sun. "I wish we'd been here longer already. I don't know any of their styles."
I frown at myself in the mirror. "I don't want their styles. I want ours."
"Isn't the point of this cultural exchange-" She catches sight of my expression and stops. "To show off the abilities of Sundrop Gem. Would you like braids?"
"Do we have enough time?" I look out the window of the chamber King Kieran gave me. It has a view over that wonderful forest of theirs, outlined bright orange as the sun sinks below it. We should've started this hours ago, but Tess and I have quickly learned that getting ready to get ready is just as much fun. My skin is silken after a perfumed bath, and every line on my complexion seems to have disappeared. Until the actual getting ready began, I was having a wonderful time.
But now, I can't forget what we're getting ready for.
"I think we will." Tess adjusts the pins so she only has one section of hair loose and begins braiding like the wind. "It's not as though they can start without the guest of honor."
I laugh. "I think that may be my father."
"It should be all of you." She shakes her head. "I don't understand the male supremacy here."
"It's strange to see how it affects the rest of their behavior." My mind drifts to the encounter in the hallway. I arrived at the location Father gave me breathless and out of sorts. I didn't even remember to ask him about leaving. All because I had the gall to come across Anwen in a hallway and ask him a few questions.
Tess raps the top of my head. "You're thinking about him."
"Apologies." I wince. "I don't mean to."
Her stern expression softens. "You can't help it. Do you remember how I was in the days after the Haze?"
"Yes." I groan, then say in a fluttery voice, "'I never realized how handsome Orion is. Have you seen him carry his sword? Have you seen his wolf? Have you seen his cock?'"
She laughs and swats me. "I did not sound like that! And I certainly did not ask if you'd seen his cock."
I shake my head very slightly. "I may as well have. You should have become a poet, Tess. Your description skills are unparalleled."
"Perhaps I still will, when you finally fill the position of hairdresser." She drops the first braid against my head.
"I've told you a thousand times that I can have others do this." I meet her gaze in the mirror.
"Never as well." She grins wryly. "And how else am I going to find space for myself in your busy schedule once you become Luna?"
"We have many years before we have to worry about that," I remind her.
Tess reaches around in the enameled box in which I packed all my hair things for travel for a few minutes before she finds the next pin. "Next time, a light would be very helpful."
I grimace. "I am certain it would be."
She looks at me. "Why are you making that face?"
"I did what you told me." I stare at my hands in my dressing-gowned lap. "I thought of the Haze, of the feeling it inspired, of the way the Goddess felt overhead. But I couldn't produce anything."
Tess hums. "Nothing? Not even a little spark or light?"
"No." My stomach sinks with the same shame I felt when experimenting under my covers last night. "Do you think I might not have any powers?"
"Nonsense." She tugs on my hair to make me tilt my head, and I obey. "You're a member of the royal family. There hasn't been a royal without powers in Sundrop Gem since... perhaps ever. If anything, I would guess this is because of the situation with Anwen."
My mate bite hurts every time I hear his name now, and the itching never abates. "That sounds like an opinion I would find in Dun's Crossing. Are you truly telling me you believe my powers are completely dependent on a man?"
She laughs. "Perhaps it's just a matter of timing."
"Perhaps." I open and close my hands a few times. If I were normal, I'd be able to light a whole room, or warm one. Instead, I can just stare at my useless hands. "Did your powers manifest immediately after the Haze?"
"Not immediately," she says in a way that tells me she's stretching the truth.
"How long?" I demand.
"About three hours," she admits. "But these things are never the same for everyone! And Orion and I didn't bother trying to deny the bond."
I groan. "I will have someone else finish my hair. I don't want to hear this again."
"I've got you captive now." She smiles mischievously. "I knew you'd want braids."
"Awful, awful friend." I shake my head just to mess her up.
"I only mean... well, you can feel it already, can't you? The mating bond?" she asks.
"I wish I could stop." I scratch the spot on my neck.
Tess knocks my hand away. "Don't. Every time you're with him, that stops, doesn't it?"
I shrug in frustration. "Sometimes, yes, but other times, he says something so horrible that it starts hurting all over again."
"When he says those things, it hurts him too." She steps around the front of my chair, between me and the mirror. "You can stop all of this."
"I will not force someone to be in my life, Tess." I cross my arms and look away from her. Tears well in my eyes. My heart aches even more than my mark. "If I tell my parents, they will tell King Kieran and Queen Raven, and within the week I'll be married to a man who hates me. I will not do that to myself."
She sighs. "You deserve better. I don't deny that. But the Goddess brought the two of you together for a reason, and I believe the only way you're going to find that reason out is if you force him to stop running away. You won't be able to resist the bond forever."
Someone knocks on the door. I scrub at my eyes as Tess goes to open it.
"Yoo-hoo, Estrella!" Nessa trills.
I turn around. The envoy's daughter twirls past Tessa wearing another dress she said no one in Dun's Crossing liked, a rich, rusty orange that brings out the reddish undertones in her hair.
"You look wonderful," I say.
"Really?" She smoothes down the skirt. "I've never even worn this one outside my room."
"Wonderful," I say resolutely. "Right, Tess?"
"I may be jealous of that color." Tess clasps her hands under her chin.
"Well, show me your dress," Nessa says.
I blink. Did she not hear Tess? Or is that another of those fast-talking Dun's Crossing customs that I'm not yet used to?
Nessa smiles warmly, and I realize it's silly to overthink. I stand and pull one of my favorite dresses from my trunk, a weaving pattern of purple, green, and yellow.
"Oh, you're going to look amazing." She touches the fabric. "And the braids are nice, but you're running low on time. Did somebody mess up your timing?"
"I did." I smile ruefully. "All your products tempted me."
"Apologies," she says a little teasingly. "But the half-head of braids might be cute. Can I try something?"
I shrug. I don't really want to be late.
Nessa pushes me back into the chair and begins pulling out the pins Tess was using to keep other sections of my hair aside.
"I'm going to go change," Tess says.
"Good luck!" I reply.
"Shush. You have to stay still." Nessa narrows her eyes critically as she adjusts, primps, pins.
Tess returns, but Nessa's too deep for me to look at her immediately. Behind me, I can hear Tess finishing her own getting ready alone. My chest aches a little, but Nessa's fluttering is so distracting that I can barely think of Anwen, so I let her continue.
Finally, she steps back. "Voila!"
The girl in the mirror looks like a strange blend of styles from home and those I've seen here. Nessa pinned the finished braids back along half my head, making me look almost as though I've shaved it, and left the other side loose in a waterfall of curls. The final effect is beautiful.
"Thank you," I breathe.
"Always." She dusts off her hands. "Now, hurry. We're running low on time."
I dress behind a privacy screen to hide my mark, and Tess helps me with the wrap. Nessa picks out a pair of shoes that I slide on without checking which they are, and we rush out of my room. Mother, Father, and Castor are already gone, likely waiting at the ballroom for me.
"I'll go ahead." Nessa winks. "You wouldn't want to create a political scandal by showing up with Snowcrest." She disappears down the hall.
"She is so thoughtful," I say.
Tess nods. "Ready for your very first party?"
"Ready for yours?" I grin.
She takes my hand, and we follow after Nessa.