Estrella
Thud.
I sit up in bed, clutching the blankets to my chest. My heart races. Someone is attempting to break into my room.
The noise comes again, but this time, without the muffling of sleep, it sounds far more like a knock. I swallow.
Silly, I chide myself. Even in a serpent's nest, paranoia doesn't help anyone.
I slide from bed, shivering against the encroaching cold, and pull a robe on over my nightgown. The person outside knocks again, urgent but quiet. I hurry from my bedroom, through the sitting room with its low-burning embers in the fireplace, and open the door.
Anwen stands in the hall, hair and eyes wild. "Can I come in?"
I blink. "It's the dead of night. I was asleep."
"I'm sorry." He steps inside, even though I haven't given him permission. "I had to see you."
I step back and clutch my robe closer around me. It was a gift from Nessa, and I'm thankful for the thicker fabric now. Anwen's leather doublet hangs slightly askew, exposing a triangle of skin at his throat, far too near his mark. My wolf paces and howls, reminding me of last night's dream. I need the wintry wrap to keep myself away from him. My sleep-addled mind is obviously insufficient, if I'm noticing that bit of skin at all.
He shuts the door behind himself, intensifying his scent, and grins. The firelight shines off his teeth. "We caught the assassin."
My heart skips a beat. "Truly?"
"There's no mistaking it." He steps closer again. "The man confessed."
Thoughts tumble through my mind. Even before this, I was sleeping restlessly, like my logical brain was trying to keep me from another dream, so my mind is muddled. Emotions swarm like tiny fish, darting away from my grasp. A burst of relief washes through me, and for a moment, I think I must tell Father. On the heels of that, rage follows. I cannot tell him. This assassin took that from me. And though it all, a powerful thread of shock. Is this nightmare... over? Could I possibly relax?
"Who...? Why....?" No question seems sufficient at this moment.
"He is a rogue," Anwen says. "A hired thug, no one with any particular grudge against your people."
Like a cold wind against the rattling windows of this castle, despair sweeps through me, scaring off all the other emotions. I sit down heavily on the settee in front of the fireplace.
"So he's not the true villain," I murmur. "There's another one yet to find."
Anwen sits next to me. The firelight paints him even more golden than usual. He moves like one of the flames, flickering and strange.
"And I'll find them," he says. "But you should know that I've cleared my family. The rogue, Birsha, met with a messenger he described at a specific time. I know the movements of everyone in the palace on the day of the ball. Candace, Ingrid, Finn, Raven, myself...." He grins brightly again. "Estrella, you have nothing to fear from us. You can look your people in the eye and tell them the Solbergs did not kill their king."
Sleep hangs heavy off my thoughts as I try to review the list of his siblings, remember how many of them there really are. Has he said every name? Would he truly think me stupid enough that a simple omission would be enough to hide wrongdoing.
"Is this why Cristofer disappeared in the middle of dinner?" I ask instead.
Anwen blinks. "Uh, yeah. I guess. I figured, since you asked for him to be involved in the investigation that you'd want him to witness the interrogation."
That final word lands like a stone in the pit of my stomach. I am not naïve to the ways of government, the way traitors must be handled, but I will admit that I would rather live my whole life without knowing how Dun's Crossing handles such matters.
"I should wake him." I stand. "And Tess. I need more minds than my own, but I'd rather not excite Mother and Castor until I'm certain."
"Certain about what?" Anwen frowns. "I'm here telling you we made a massive breakthrough. That I am innocent. Don't you understand what this means?"
His frown calls the dream to the front of my mind again with a rush of heat. I tighten my robe at the waist, even though it shortens the arms and leaves inches of my wrists vulnerable to the cold.
"We can be mated publicly." He stands with me, his wild grin softening into something kinder. "There's nothing to worry about anymore. We didn't attack you, and I can't think of any better way to formally declare our alliance."
Publicly mated. Publicly tied to this man, son of the king who destroyed half the world in his quest for power. A man with a past I may never be able to fully understand, who will always be a part of my worst memory.
"It's late." I take a step toward the door that connects my room to Tess's. "Or early. I-"
"Please." He grabs my wrist again.
Pain like nothing I have ever felt before tears through me. It's as though someone managed to pour boiling sugar directly into the core of my bones, sickening and melting them in a single blow. A high, animal yelp tears from my lips, and I throw myself away from Anwen and stare at my wrist. There, just below the sleeve of my robe, is a line of smoking, black-gray skin. A stench fills the air between us, one Father had an apothecary replicate and taught me never to mistake.
Wolfsbane.
I jerk my head up to look at Anwen. He is studying his own, unmarred wrist. The pain starts to recede as the firelight grows brighter, and warmth fills me. It feels like-
The light catches on a damp patch on his leather sleeve, and the warmth flowing through my body instantly fades from my notice.
"How did you interrogate the rogue?" I ask quietly.
He glances at me. "I asked questions. He answered. Estrella, your arm-"
"Is none of your concern." I straighten as the pain becomes something I can live with. "Why did he answer? Wouldn't the sort of man you could hire to assassinate a king more likely go to the grave with his secrets?"
Anwen won't look at me now. The sickening feeling drains from my arm to my gut. I know the answer to the question, but a part of me needs to hear him say it.
"What do you know of what happened in Escuro?" I ask.
"I think that's unfair," he replies.
I shake my head. "They called for help. Missives arrived in every kingdom they thought wasn't already under King Gavin's thumb. Including ours. And do you know what it said?"
Publicly mated. Anwen did this, and he expected me to shackle myself to him for all eternity. I can't even see the golden tousle of his hair, the flash of hurt in his eyes. I won't.
"It said they were dying." I spit the words like my own poison. "Like the water was eating them from the inside out, and they needed supplies." I blink tears from my eyes. "Father wasn't fast enough. By the time we'd mustered our ships, they were already dead. When he taught me to recognize wolfsbane, he told me that story and called it the cruelest weapon to wield against our kind."
"I grew up with a different story." He stares at his hands. "That one... it makes me fucking sick."
"And yet you used it." I shake my head. "How could you?"
"How could I?" He whips a stare at me. "The rogue wouldn't answer any other way. I knew the second I looked at him that he couldn't have done this on his own. Was I supposed to just let the investigation die? Let you live out your days never knowing who killed your father? I was just trying to make you happy!"
His words nearly knock the wind out of me. If the wolfsbane hurt so much from the barest brush, I can't imagine what being questioned under its effects would be like. There is a man, somewhere in this castle, who knows because this prince thought it would please me.
There is no greater insult to Father's memory.
And my supposed mate dealt it to him.
"Is that what you're telling yourself?" I snap. "That you only resorted to torture because the mating bond drove you to it?"
"I don't get why you're so pissed." He throws his hands in the air. "You wanted answers. I got them for you."
"And I would rather not have them if they only come at the cost of this much suffering!" I roar. "There is nothing in this life that could induce me to cross that line. Nothing. So if you would truly like to make me happy, stop blaming me for you having given yourself the permission to be the man you wanted to be all along."
His mouth falls slightly open for a second before he clicks his jaw shut. His icy eyes light with cold fire. "You're going to have a bitch of a time getting that high horse of yours back across the Lonely Sea, Your Majesty."
"What does that mean?" I grit out. More Dun's Crossing idioms that he knows I can't understand.
"It means"-he takes a step closer, towering over me, the stink of wolfsbane clouding out his smell-"I can't wait to see how you lead a kingdom without ever compromising. It'll be a real pleasure, watching you come crawling back to us when you need help. Or do you have someone else do your dirty work, so you can keep being happier not knowing what goes on?"
I snarl, "Sundrop Gem doesn't need this violence to maintain itself, and I pity you for thinking we do."
"The strong lead. The weak judge," he spits. "I did what I had to do. And yes, I fucking did it for you. Forgive me for thinking you were a goddessdamn adult who could handle the truth."
"You didn't!" I close the final gap, smashing my chest against his and praying the robe is thick enough to protect me from any other splatters of the poison. "I had to discover the poison. You only wanted to tell me that you could finally make me yours, now that the timing is right for you."
His jaw works. "You keep pushing me away because you don't trust us. I came to tell you that you could."
"With poison on your clothes." I laugh, the sound strange and stilted. There's nothing left for either of us here, and I won't wake my family with our shouting. I storm to my door and hold it open. "You really are your father's son, Prince Anwen."