I tried to convince myself it wasn’t cowardice that had me waiting until my house was empty to go home. I’d have to face them all soon anyway, we’d all be at the track testing for Street King Showdown. I wasn’t ashamed, not of Jordan or the staggering change in our relationship. I was still too emotionally raw to deal with any of their questions.
I’d cringed when I’d lied via text message to my sister, then again when I’d begged Hadley to cover for me with my family and tell them I was staying with her. She agreed, but only if I told her where I really was. She hadn’t been surprised.
I went home, grabbed a few things, shoved them into a bag, and jogged back to Jordan’s.
“Hoping they don’t catch you?” he asked with a raised brow when I came in, winded.
“N—” I stopped myself and shook my head, hair dancing around my face. “Not like you’re thinking.”
“How am I thinking?”
His face was a mask of caramel colored skin and dark eyes, unreadable even to me. It shouldn’t have surprised me. I wasn’t the only one stripped raw from the past twenty-four hours. “That I don’t want them to know I’m here with you.”
He said nothing. Bingo.
“It’s not that, Jordan. They know me. You know me, look at me, what would be the first thing you asked me if you saw me?” I’d seen myself in the mirror in my bathroom. I didn’t look like the girl who spent the night
with the love of her life. My eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles, and I was pale and disheveled. Breanna would say I was a hot mess, and she’d be right.
Jordan and I had been on a rollercoaster of epic proportions. My very being was lighter and free for the first time in a long time. That didn’t mean I looked the part.
I waited until his muscles relaxed before I went to him. By the time I did, he was rubbing his face with his hands. “I’m sorry if I upset you.” I let him wrap me in his arms. “I just don’t want to see anyone else right now.”
“It’s okay.” He kissed me, tenderly. “I’m processing.”
“Me, too.”
A hot shower, toothpaste, and a change of clothes helped me process. I needed to breathe. The more I could, the more settled everything in my life was. It was as if chains I hadn’t known I carried had slipped off. The dirt and grime they’d left behind washed off me and down the drain with the dirty water.
I put on makeup, and for the first time in a long time, I liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I could love the person who looked back at me.
I smiled and chewed on my lip when I passed the spare room and its weight bench. I almost giggled at the giddy, light feeling that came over me. Nothing that had happened there had been dirty or wrong, it had been beautiful.
Jordan turned to me in his bedroom. He stood half
dressed, his chest bare, smelling of the same soap I’d found in his shower. The smile he greeted me with made my heart stutter a step in my chest. “You look good, Raelynn.”
I tucked a damp tendril of hair behind my ear. I wore nothing but a pair of fitted jeans and a black tank. Nothing fancy, nothing special, but to him I looked good. Quite frankly without a shirt he looked good enough to eat. “Not so bad yourself.”
He laughed, but I stopped him short of pulling his shirt down his chest. I traced the scars, from the big one at his shoulder to the barrage of smaller ones that the tattoo covered. Several of which were easily kissed from my height. So, I did.
“Raelynn.” His voice was so thick with arousal it stole my breath.
His hands slid up my sides and under my arms. He lifted me with ease, my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. There was no urgency, only a slow burning need. We tumbled back on the bed, his lips warm against my neck as his hands sought their own fortunes.
Without fear, I reached for his denim clad arousal. The groan I received in response was well worth my effort.
“Raelynn.” Again, the sound of my name on his lips sent chills across my flesh.
I stroked him, first through his jeans. When he’d had enough, he unzipped them and freed himself to my touch. When he kissed me after that, everything around me spun in a haze of desire.
“Yo! Jordan!”
The shout from the back of the house brought his head up, the slamming of the back door had him sliding off me and adjusting his clothes.
I knew the voice, we both did.