The ride from the shop was a quiet one. It wasn’t awkward. Instead, it was peaceful. I’d put off talking to Devin, because I didn’t want him to feel the rejection I had. I didn’t want him to turn into the sort of person I’d become when Jordan had told me he didn’t want me. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Knowing now that Jordan wanted me even as he’d told me the opposite, didn’t take that pain away. It was still there, as were the scars left behind from what happened after. I could look at him now, though, and not feel the blame or anger that I’d kept tucked away in the dark parts of my soul.
It surprised me when he reached out and took my hand. His long, rough fingers were warm and soothing. When I squeezed them gently, he brought my fingers to his lips. Even through all that pain, I still loved him. Maybe one day, Devin would remember that he still loved me as well. Maybe one day we could go back to what we used to be.
“What are you thinking?” The deep timbre of his voice was soothing.
I held my breath for a beat. “I was thinking about love. How many people I have in my life that love me, that I love…how I really don’t deserve their love.”
“That’s bullshit.” He made an annoyed face that told me exactly how much he disagreed with the last part of my statement.
“No, I’m a liar,” I assured him, the weight of all my sins straining my voice.
“Again, that’s bullshit,” he growled, driving right through annoyance to anger.
“I told him no, I told you no…I lied.”
“Yeah? How’s that, Raelynn?” He didn’t turn into my driveway, instead swung into his own.
“That it had nothing to do with you. That you weren’t the reason I couldn’t love him. It wasn’t true. Because you will always be the reason I could never love anyone else. Not Devin, not Ca—”
He turned to me in the dark. The truck idled loudly, reminding me of where I was and who I was. I couldn’t stop, I’d already started. If I stopped now, I’d keep it locked away forever. My thoughts, my feelings, would smother me.
“We’ll never be only friends, Jordan. I can’t. That’s why I left, because I knew I couldn’t. I came home because…because I couldn’t remember why I’d left in the first place. When I saw you? It all came rushing back. Even then I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to be near you. I couldn’t get you out of my head. You are always there, right on the edge of my thoughts. It was always you, it will always be you.”
For a long time, he was quiet and still, so still. By the time he said anything, I’d started to worry. “And you think it’s any different for me?”
He twisted in his seat, leaning across the space between us. He pressed his lips to mine. Gentle, soft kisses, that lingered long enough to make my heart sigh. Jordan kissed me like I was something to be cherished, worthy of being loved.
He kissed my lips, my cheeks, and my eyes when I closed them. All before pulling me close.
“I think I’ve wanted you to do that for my entire life,” I whispered breathlessly as I clung to him. Jordan Slater was my port in the storm, always had been.
There was a war raging beneath his dark lashes. That turmoil was illuminated by the dash lights. My body didn’t respond with fear, though. Instead my skin warmed and my nipples hardened.
His thumb traced slowly across my bottom lip, when I pulled it into my lips and sucked, I earned a groan from across the seat. Jordan’s tongue flicked against his own lip, his eyes darkening further. My breath caught. The taste of his skin fueled my own arousal, leaving my heart to thunder in my ears over the rumble of the engine.
The moan on my lips was stolen by his kiss. This time he wasn’t soft or sweet. Magnetic, indulgent. I couldn’t not touch him. My hands immediately went to his chest as his tangled in my hair. He tasted of summer and man, an irresistible combination. His muscles, taut and strong beneath my fingers.
His lips, his tongue, and even his teeth drove me wild. I forgot everything, everything except for that moment. I pushed against him. I wanted to crawl into his kiss and take what I craved.
A keen awareness made every brush of his fingers grip me with an intense sense of urgency. Urgency that sent me writhing against him, climbing into his lap. I couldn’t get enough of Jordan, never would be able to get enough of him.
“Rae…” Jordan groaned against my lips as I pressed against his chest. Distinctly, the wall of muscle pressed against my breasts, teasing my nipples, and I ran my hands up to knock the hat from his head.
His fingers swept under my shirt, the skin on skin contact making me want more…so much more. I couldn’t get enough.
“Raelynn.” His hands had stopped moving and held me now, gently pushing me back.
I was panting, my heart thumping so hard in my chest that I was sure he could hear it. His face was softly lit by the moon. I’d expected to see that storm of desire that I’d seen in his kitchen, that dangerous glint in his eyes.
Instead, I was met with a sleepy want, a patience I hadn’t expected.
My heart rate intensified for a different reason then. I didn’t know why he stopped me and in truth, I didn’t care. I cupped his face in my hands, and relished the scruffy feel of a face that would need a razor by morning. Then I kissed him.
I kissed him with all those emotions I had pent-up inside but was too scared to say.
He gave it all back to me, matched my kiss with his own. Quiet and sweet, holding his desire at bay so he could give me what I needed. This…this kiss made me want him with every part of my being.
When he pulled free again, he whispered, as if the sound of his voice would break whatever spell we were under. “When you kiss me like that, everything stops.” He caught my bottom lip between his teeth and nipped it. “Nothing else matters.”
I did the only thing I knew to do, I kissed him like that again. I learned every line of his lips, every inch of his tongue, while my fingers traced lazy circles on the back of his neck. I savored the taste of him, the flavor of his kiss, while desire fanned out across my skin.
His hands never strayed from my sides, sliding up and down the length of me, causing me to shiver and wish he’d touch me more. When the kiss grew, I got my
wish, his thumbs sliding out to brush against my nipples, teasing them until they strained against my bra. I moved against his body, molding myself to him,
the steering wheel digging painfully into my ass. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered, but the way he was touching me.
Beneath me, he hardened on a groan of desire against my lips that slid across my tongue.
“Rae,” he breathed as his touch grew more demanding. He cupped my breasts and forced me to arch against him.