That night my parents’ small kitchen was packed with people and noise. It reminded me of how it was when we’d all been younger. Jordan and my dad stood on the far side. Both leaned against the bar with beers in their hands, surveying their surroundings. Mom flitted between the stove and the fridge, trying her best to cook enough food for all of us. Aiden sat at the table giving the baby a bottle, while his son smacked a toy car on the highchair top. The scene was warm and pleasant, leaving me happy and content as I sat next to my brother.
Hadley and Breanna came in the backdoor, bags in hand. More beer, I imagined. Vic sat across from my brother and tossed the occasional small scrap of paper napkin at him.
“So, I take it this means I’m couching it for a while?” Breanna asked as she plopped at the table and opened a beer. As the youngest, she would be the one relegated to the couch if I were still living here. “Or are we gonna bunk together like kids again?” She tipped her bottle at me.
Jordan caught my eyes from across the kitchen. I had a moment of sheer panic that I’m sure he could see. What if he’d changed his mind? Had he changed his mind?
His brows disappeared under his cap in question of my panic. No, he hadn’t changed his mind about me staying with him. I didn’t have to consider the offer, I’d already made up my mind. If he wanted me there, I was going to be there.
“Nah, after a day or two we can go back to the trailer, she was already gone when we got there to get my stuff.” With a practiced ease, Aiden moved the baby to his shoulder to burp her.
“What you need to do is go talk to the lawyer first thing Monday morning.” Mom spoke from her stance over the spaghetti sauce on the stove.
“It would be easier for you to stay here.” Breanna took a sip of her beer. “More help with the kids so you aren’t running yourself ragged.”
“Yeah, but I’m not going to put y’all out like that.
My kids, my family. I’ll figure something out.”
Everyone had taken Jordan’s presence with me in stride, so I figured what I was about to say wouldn’t be too much of a shock. “You can have my room. I won’t be needing it.”
Hadley was the only one to give me a curious look, before looking from me to Jordan.
“I can stay with Jordan.”
Surprise etched on Breanna’s face. “No shit?” “Breanna!” My mom swatted her with a towel.
“No really,” she said, ducking the terrycloth blow. “Y’all worked things out?”
“Something like that.”
From beside my dad, the corner of Jordan’s mouth twitched. My father, took it in stride managing a shrug that mirrored my brother’s. It was as if neither had ever expected anything else out of Jordan and me.
When my dad caught me looking, he finally spoke. “What? I was glad you didn’t wind up pregnant at sixteen, as much as you mooned after him. From that point on, I was good with whatever.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad.”
“You’re welcome.” He winked.
When Molly fussed in my brother’s arms, Jordan took her and slipped out the back door. I followed him, marveling at how small the baby looked against his chest.
“Too hot and too loud in there, huh, kiddo?” It was endearing to hear him call her that, to hear him cooing at her as she settled down. “There we go,” he whispered and kissed her head as she gurgled her way to sleep.
“You look good like that,” I told him.
“Yeah?” He laughed as he started pacing to keep her sleeping. “Her brother was the first baby I ever held.”
“Really? You’re a natural.”
“Yup, usually they scare me. Until Aiden had one.
Then it was like hanging out with a tiny Aiden.”
As simplistic as it was, it made perfect sense to me. “Yeah, I see that.”
He stopped walking long enough to drop a kiss on my lips, and she started to fuss again. Without missing a beat, he started back moving across the porch to keep her happy. She already had all the men I cared about wrapped around her little finger.
The amount of love in my heart at that very moment made it easy to forget anything bad that had passed between me and Jordan.
Emotion hit me like a truck, sending me reeling so that I had to hold onto the rail to keep myself anchored to the porch. I could see him holding our own daughter when we had one, cradling her to his chest as he cradled my niece. His niece too, as Aiden and Jordan were the closest thing to brothers either had.
“What are you thinking, Rae?” Jordan asked me as raucous laughter rang out from the kitchen. I gave a wry smile and shook my head. Some things weren’t ready to be said, not yet, not when this was so fresh and new. “Whatever it is, I say yes.” He kissed baby Molly’s hair.
“Just like that?”
“Yeah, anything that makes you look that happy is something I want to be a part of.”
His words freed my heart from the melancholy I’d had. I snuggled against his side, enjoying the warmth of him and the soft, breathy sounds of my niece sleeping on his chest. We stood there for a long time and watched her sleep, not going in until we were called for dinner.
That night as I packed a bag for Jordan’s, my brother was popping up the portable crib in my room for my niece. So much could change in twenty-four hours. I’d had that thought repeatedly the day after Devin had died. It had been a terrible, crushing blow. Now it meant something completely different. These changes were welcome ones. Life was like that.
“I keep thinking that it should be messed up that everyone is happy that I’m getting a divorce,” Aiden mused as he put the finishing touches on the crib.
“I’m sort of sad that it’s happening.” I folded a shirt twice in contemplation. “Though, more so that it didn’t work out for you and for the kids. I have to admit to a certain level of relief that you’re done with her.”
“Yeah, me too.” He laughed and looked down at his sleeping son. “I got the two best parts of my life from her, though.”
My lips curved as I kissed his cheek. “They are
pretty great.”
“I’m glad you worked it out with Jordan.”
“Don’t listen to him, he’s glad he gets this room all to himself.” Breanna leaned against the door frame and spooned a heaping mound of ice cream into her mouth. “And I’m glad you aren’t moping anymore.”
We both glared at her.
“What?” She drew the word in the air at our expressions. “You’ve both been moping for a while. I’m relieved it’s over.”
“In her way”—I laughed and nudged my brother— “she just said she loved us and is glad we are both happy.”
“We love you too, Breezy.” Aiden was in good humor when she stuck her tongue out at him.
“Wow, he hasn’t called you that in years,” I marveled.
“She used to threaten me with death and dismemberment.” He gestured at his sleeping son. “I’m safe from that as long as I keep the kids near me.”
“I love you both.” I stopped as I passed Breanna and grinned impishly. “I’m going home. It feels weird to walk out of here saying I’m going home. This was always home.”
“It always will be.” Aiden pulled us both together in a group hug, Breanna grunting the entire time. “As long as we’re family anywhere can be home.”
He was right, but Jordan’s house was home too. That was my home now because Jordan was family too. My family. My home, my guy, my life. I wasn’t playing at it.
I was living it.
When I went to bed that night, I slipped into bed with the man I loved knowing that our love had been worth fighting for.