“You—” My voice wavered as behind me Hunter stood, bloody but otherwise okay. “I—” I caught my breath. I’d thought the distance he’d put between us was the worst way he could have hurt me. I never imagined words from Jordan Slater’s mouth would rip me to shreds so completely.
I flinched back a step and turned to Hunter, knowing Jordan could hear what I said. “Do you still think I should try to make it work with him? Do you?”
“Raelynn…” Hunter reached for me and looked past me to Jordan, this time with real scorn in his eyes.
I shook my head and lost myself in the crowd. Aiden reached me in the throng of people, confusion and concern on his face.
The fight had stopped and all eyes were on me, but my brother’s were laser focused on my face. “Raelynn?”
I shook my head and eyed the tunnel the crowd had made. Jordan stood, chest heaving, at the other end of it. Apparent regret creased his brow and darkened his eyes.
I opened my mouth once, and the tears ran hot down my face. “I’m done.”
I walked away, the crowd parting for me. It had hurt when Devin had called me a whore, it had reminded me of the things Caleb had told me. But then Jordan, the one man I never thought would hurt me, did. In that moment he was no better than Caleb had been, not really. Even still, I loved him. As I walked away I wished for him to chase after me, to apologize, to make this all go away.
He didn’t.
I walked through the parking lot, past the front facade of Felt, and kept going. There was nothing of value in the purse I’d left in Hadley’s car. My phone, my ID, and my keys were in my pockets. I didn’t want to see anyone, didn’t want to talk to anyone. I wanted to be alone.
I was too ashamed to face them anyhow.
I’d thought the time I spent away from home at college was the worst of my life. I’d thought coming home, back to Jordan and my life in Arkadia, would be the best thing for me. I never imagined coming home would bring so much pain. That Jordan could hurt me worse than Caleb had and make me feel like less than nothing.
Imaginary fingers grabbed my throat and squeezed. Behind me cars left the parking lot of the club. How many of them would slow or stop, how many would try to get me off the highway? Most of them, as most of them knew me.
I couldn’t bear to talk to any of them, to see a single one. So, I jogged down the ditch and dashed across the field beside the bar. There was a neighborhood there, I soon meandered through it’s quiet streets. Every few seconds my phone buzzed in my pocket. Bree, who I was sure my brother had called, Hadley, Aiden, Hunter, Vic, and even a few calls from Jordan.
His face flashed across my screen until the buzzing stopped. I couldn’t speak to any of the others right then. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to speak to Jordan.
It was raining by the time I found myself in the parking lot of Casey’s Speed Shop. I was soaked through as my trembling fingers forced the key into the lock of the side door. Dark and empty, the back of the shop was almost spooky.
The rain was loud on the tin roof and it took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the darkness that surrounded me. Turning on the lights would give me away. Instead, I locked the door behind me, before crossing the smooth concrete floor. My footsteps echoed eerily.
I found shop towels and dried off as best I could before donning a huge t-shirt from the boxes kept for employees. In my dad’s office, there was a love seat and a couch on opposing walls. On the couch was a large throw and a pillow. Probably there if Mom ever decided to stick Dad in the dog house, not that it would ever happen.
I snatched them, curled on the loveseat, and forced myself to sleep. I was so drained, emotionally and physically, that sleep came easier than I’d thought possible.
I woke to the sound of soft snoring. Something I shouldn’t be hearing considering I was sleeping in the shop, alone. With my heart pounding in my chest, I sat straight up and looked over to the other couch. Aiden was there, sawing logs.
I threw a hat from my dad’s desk at him. When he turned and opened a sleepy eye, I squawked, “What are you doing here?”
“Me?” He rubbed his face. “You look pretty comfortable over there, kid. With my pillow.”
“I figured it was Dad’s.”
He yawned. “My spare. Why would Dad need a pillow here?”
I lifted a shoulder. “How often do you sleep here?” I fought back a chill from the rain, that I hadn’t lost and pulled the throw tighter around me.
“More often than you, apparently.” He stretched. “I shot Bree a message last night when I found you here. Let her know you were all right. She freaked out and told Mom when she found out you ran off.”
“Damn,” I groaned and lay back on the little sofa. My parents knowing about what happened meant more explanations. There were only so many heart-to-hearts I could have with them about my relationship before it grew tiresome for all of us.
To avoid the impending headache pushing just behind my eyes, I focused on something else. “How often do you sleep here?”
He shrugged as he sat up and rubbed his face with his hands. “Enough that I know where Dad hides the good coffee.”
As he padded out and over to the break room to make a pot, I slipped on my mostly dry jeans and sought out my phone. It immediately erupted into a chorus of beeps and dings as messages and missed calls rolled in. Most messages stopped not long after I’d fallen asleep, except those from Jordan. Those seemed to come endlessly. Without reading any of his messages, I tossed the phone back on the couch.
Jordan had finally accomplished what he’d been trying to accomplish all along. He’d pushed me away. I was done. I wouldn’t be going back.
Aiden slipped through the door carrying two steaming cups. “I remembered you liked yours with so damn much cream it’s not even coffee anymore.”
He was right, I happily took the cup he offered and let the warm, sweet liquid hit the spot.
Aiden gestured toward the bank of screens on my dad’s desk and laughed. “Sometimes I think he hangs out back here to watch this stuff like it’s a soap opera.”
He was making small talk to avoid the two dark clouds hanging over us. Our relationships, his with Wendy and mine with Jordan. For several long minutes we sat in silence.
Neither of us were much for awkward silences. “Why di—” I started.
“What d—” So did he.
We both laughed and I took another sip of coffee. “I was surprised to see you here, I figured you’d gone home.”
Aiden swung his arm over my shoulder. “I pretty much sleep here every night.” He tilted his head toward the dingy tile floor beneath our feet.
“For how long?” I chewed my bottom lip to keep from saying anything else. It hurt my heart to know he’d been sleeping here, not at home with his family. I wasn’t, however, surprised by it.
“For a couple of months. I go home and help her with the kids in the evenings. But if I stay past that, we usually end up in a fight. I figure she’s got someone who comes over after I leave, anyway.”
My stomach did a sickening roll. He didn’t need or want my sympathy. He’d be too proud to accept it. That fact didn’t stop me from hurting for him.
“Does Mom know?” Our mother would have an absolute fit if she knew her baby boy was sleeping at work.
“No, but Dad does.” He contemplated his coffee mug.
When my phone started ringing from where I’d thrown it on the couch, Aiden leaned over to see who it was. “It’s Jordan.”