"I hope that's not the case in the future," Jasper said.
I sent Jasper a look.
"What are you doing tomorrow, Daisy?" Jasper asked.
"Why?"
"Come to dinner with me," Jasper said.
"Dude, that's weird. We're brother and sister-"
"Daisy," Jasper snapped. "I don't need your smartass remarks. A no will do fine, but please consider it. I just want to talk."
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "Did you not listen to anything I said in class today?"
"I did, and I chose to ignore it," Jasper shrugged.
I rolled my eyes. "You're stupid."
"No, I'm inviting you to dinner," Jasper said. "We'll go wherever you want. I'll pay."
"No," I said.
"Why?"
"I don't want to talk. I don't want to get to know you."
"If that were the case then you wouldn't have been at our dads house. You would've said no to him, but you didn't."
I took a deep breath and unbuckled my seatbelt as we pulled up outside Jasper's house. "Thanks for the lift."
I reached for the door handle, but Jasper reached across and grabbed my hand. His skin was cold. He gripped my hand firmly, but gently. I hated that his touch felt familiar. It didn't freak me out.
"Meet me after school? In the carpark?" Jasper said. "You can sit in freaking silence if you really want too. Just come to dinner with me."
"If you're late then I won't wait for you," I muttered and pulled my hand from Jasper's and climbed out of the car.
As I walked across the road I heard him call, "I won't be late, but I'll wait for you if you are!"
I rolled my eyes and jogged up the steps to the house, pausing for a few seconds before walking in.
"Sweet cheeks, you're alive!" Mason called, walking out of the kitchen with a donut in his hand.
"Yep," I nodded and walked towards the stairs.
"Where have you been?" Tom asked, catching me at the bottom of the stairs.
"Out," I shrugged.
"What have you said to Eli?" Carter asked from the top of the stairs. "He's punched a lot of walls today and his hand isn't looking too pretty."
"That's an understatement," Jack called, walking out of the kitchen and stealing Mason's donut.
"Hey, you shithead!" Mason yelled and I rolled my eyes and looked up at Tom.
"Get out of my way," I said slowly.
"What happened?" Tom asked quietly. "I thought you guys were good."
"Nothing happened," I snapped. "Me and Eli are nothing, now get out of my way."
"Daisy-"
"I can hurt you very easily, Tom," I warned. "I will hurt you very easily."
"Daisy-"
"Move or I won't feel bad about what I'm going to do-"
Tom sighed in defeat and stepped to the side. I barged his shoulder as I walked past him.
"Daisy, please don't threaten me!" Carter said as he blocked my path at the top of the stairs.
"Then get out of my way," I said simply and Carter quickly scrambled out of my way.
"You're a scary bitch, sweet cheeks!" Mason yelled.
"To everyone but Eli," Carter said and slapped his hand over his mouth, his eyes widening when I turned round to glare at him. "That wasn't me who said that!"
"Oh really?" I asked.
"R-really!"
"You're lucky I like you," I said and carried on walking, chuckling slightly when I heard Carter let out a sigh of relief.
"Daisy!" I heard a yell and I paused, stopping half way down what I thought was an empty hallway. "Where the fuck have you been?"
I swallowed and took a deep breath, forcing my legs to move forward.
"Daisy! Don't walk away from me! You owe me an explanation!" Eli snapped and I gritted my teeth and slowly turned around. I opened my mouth to speak, but my eyes landed on Eli's hands that were covered in dry blood.
"Fucking hell," I sighed and walked up to him. "I'm not talking to you. We're not discussing anything."
"No-"
I grabbed Eli's sleeve and pulled him towards the bathroom. I kicked the door open and shoved him towards the toilet. "Sit," I said.
"Daisy-"
"I'm not talking to you! I've said everything I need to say!" I snapped and slammed the toilet seat down and smashed my foot against the back of Eli's knee and forced him to sit down.
"Fucking hell!" Eli yelled and grabbed his knee. "What the fucking hell, princess!"
"Don't!" I said sharply. "Don't call me that." I turned on my heel and searched the cupboards for a first aid kit.
"Don't be a bitch-"
"Shut the fuck up and let me help you," I cut him off and grabbed the first aid kit.
"I'm getting serious deja vu, princess," Eli said when I grabbed his hand and started wiping away the blood.
"I said shut up and let me help you."
"You made it clear," Eli said a few awkward, silent minutes later. "In the canteen. So why are you helping me?"
Eli hissed when I sprayed his hands with antiseptic spray. "This is my fault."
"It's not."
"You punched whatever you punched because of me," I said. "Because of what I said. So it's my fault. The least I could do is fix your hands."
"No, the least you could do is talk to me!" Eli snapped and pulled his hand away from mine and placed his fingers under my chin, tilting my head up to look at him. "You have no excuses for what you did. No reason. Being scared isn't a reason!"
I grabbed Eli's wrist and pulled his hand down.
"Daisy-"
"I don't want to fucking talk to you!" I yelled and stood up. "God, I don't even want to see you! Sort your own fucking injuries out!" I threw the first aid kit at him and walked towards the door.
"Hey!" Eli shouted and grabbed my wrist, pushing me up against the wall. "No! You don't get to walk away!"
"Get the fuck off of me!" I snapped and shoved Eli away from me. "I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want anything to do with you!"
"Yes you fucking do!" Eli yelled.
"No!" I shouted and stepped back. "I don't!"
Eli narrowed his eyes at me, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine. You want to isolate yourself for no fucking reason! You want to run away from something good just because you're fucking scared? Fine. Go. Fucking go!
"Fine!" I yelled and walked out of the bathroom, storming down the hallway and to my room. I slammed my door behind me and yelled loudly. I kicked the bin in the corner of my room and sent the contents scattered all over the floor.
I sighed and sat down on the floor, grabbing my hair in frustration. "Fuck," I whispered.
"Daisy?" I heard Beth's voice from outside my room. "Can I come in?"
"Not a good time!" I yelled.
"Daisy-"
"Not now, Beth!" I shouted.
I didn't want to see Beth. I didn't want to see anyone. Especially not Eli, because he was one of the only people I actually really did want to see.
There was one person I did want to talk to.
I hurriedly grabbed my phone and called Jasper. He picked up almost instantly. "What is it?" He asked.
"I want to see Blake."
"So," Jasper said. "Blake, what's he like?"
"He's an ass."
"Do you call everyone an ass?" Jasper wondered and raised an eyebrow.
"Eyes on the road," I said when Jasper turned to look at me. "He's like an older brother to me."
"Oh," Jasper said and adjusted his hold on the steering wheel. He held tighter and his knuckles went whiter.
He had agreed to take me to see Blake.
"He was," I sighed.
"Was?"
"Yeah, shit happened, he carried on being an ass and we were never the same," I said with a shrug of my shoulders.
"From what I know it seems like he cares," Jasper said.
"He does," I said and rolled my eyes. "Doesn't always show it. It's hard to remember that 'he cares' when he's making me be the guinea pig for torture training."
Jasper slammed the breaks on the car and I lurched forward in my seat.
"Watch it!" I snapped.
"Torture training?" Jasper yelled. "You do torture training at your Agency?"
"They introduced it after I was tortured. So I guess your Agency is to blame," I shrugged.
"They torture their own agents for training!" Jasper growled.
"Only the ones they think can 'handle' it," I muttered. "Apparently that was Eli and me."
"That's sick!" Jasper hissed.
"It was bearable," I said. "And then later that day I was raped and died."
Jasper looked at me as he restarted the car. "Don't say it like that," he said sternly.
"Like what?"
"Like you don't care."
"I'm over it," I said dismissively.
"That's what everyone believes," Jasper said. "Isn't it? There's no way you can be fully over what happened to you, Daisy. Things like that stay with you."
"Yes, everyone believes that. If they thought I was still messed up because of it they wouldn't stop looking at me like I was broken," I said.
"They all still look at you like you're broken," Jasper said.
"What?"
"They care about you, but they still look at you like you're broken."
"You're a bundle of joy, aren't you?" I snapped.
"Eli doesn't," Jasper said. "Eli is the only person who doesn't look at you like you're going to break."
"We're not talking about Eli."
"I am."
"I'm not!"
"Eli knows you fake it, doesn't he? He knows that you fake that you're okay?"
I sighed and nodded.
"I get it. I get why you pretend and fake it, but it's good you have Eli. Someone needs to know how you really feel."
I glanced at Jasper. "I've ruined it all with him."
Jasper frowned. "How?"
"I fucked it up, I pushed him away," I said with a humourless laugh.
"Why?"
"Because that's what I do."
"You've got me. You've got Richard," Jasper said. "You can't push us away."
I raised an eyebrow. "Not even if I say please?"
Jasper laughed. "Not even then."
"You aren't going to give up, are you?" I said slowly.
"You're just realising this?"
I frowned. "So you're going to be here?"
"Yes."
"You're always going to be here?"
"Yes."
"No matter how much of a bitch I am? No matter how much I try and push you away?"
"We're family. You can't do anything that will push us away, Daisy," Jasper said.
"Promise?" I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Of course," Jasper nodded. "Daisy, you know this. Why are you asking?"
"Because I want to talk to someone, about my fucked up life, that I can't scare away. I want to talk to someone that has no fucking choice but to deal with me, as I am."
"Eli can't do that?"
"He can, but he doesn't deserve all my shit. He's better off without me and my problems," I said. "And you've not stopped going on about how we're family so you've got to deal with my shit. You've got no excuses not too. You've got nearly 19 years of shit to make up for."
"I'm not complaining," Jasper said.
"I need to talk to someone," I whispered. "I never liked talking to people about me. I punched my counsellor at the Agency. I hated talking to him. But... I need to. Now I need to."
"What about Blake?" Jasper asked cautiously.
"I was going to talk to him. I thought I needed him, but I don't really want to see him," I frowned and looked up at Jasper. "I want to talk to you."
Jasper immediately turned the car around and drove back in the direction of his house. "You have no fucking idea how good it feels to hear you say that."
We sat in an awkward silence for a while once we got back to Jasper's house. I was sitting on his bed, playing with one of his pillows.
I didn't know what to say.
"So start at the beginning," Jasper had said.
And I did.