Somehow we ended up at Richard's house.
It was cozy. A burning log fire in the lounge, soft leather couches with bundles of pillows and blankets and fluffy rugs that felt like feathers under your feet.
We had stopped off on the way back and Richard had bought us fish and chips and we both settled on the couch as we ate.
"I was an ass to Jasper today," I said and ate a chip. "I was an ass to pretty much everyone today."
"I'm sure that's not true."
"Oh, no, it is," I said. "I'm a bitch. To everyone."
"Don't say that," Richard said sternly. "Please."
I shrugged my shoulders and ate another chip.
"Daisy, can you tell me how you got your scars?" Richard asked softly, but you could hear the protectiveness in his voice.
"Do you really need to ask?"
"I want to know."
"You know one," I said quietly and looked down at my stomach.
Richard stiffened. "Yes. You have one on your thigh?"
"I was stabbed during training," I said.
"During training?" Richard gasped.
"Blake says it was an accident," I shrugged.
Richard narrowed his eyes. "You have others."
"I'm covered in scars, big, small," I trailed off. "I was shot at during a mission, it just skimmed my arm but left a scar." I pointed to my upper arm. "This," I raised my hand to show a scar in a circular shape on the back of my hand, "was from a hammer."
"A hammer!"
I smiled. "I take it you didn't watch that video of me getting tortured all the way through," I said and Richard paled.
"I'm so sorry," he gasped.
"It wasn't your fault, but if I ever see the agent who tortured me I will kill him," I said causally.
"I'm sorry we hurt you."
I shrugged my shoulders. "Rob's had me tortured before, you're even there."
"He what?" Richard snapped.
"Torture training," I said and shook my head. "Eli and I were the guinea pigs. Apparently it was because they knew I could handle it."
"I'm going to kill him."
"If you get there before me I'll kill you," I said with a small smile.
"What was he like? How did he treat you?" Richard asked.
"He was Rob," I sighed. "He only cared about making me the best agent I could be. He didn't care what I wanted. You'd think after I ran away he'd realise I didn't want to be an assassin anymore. He didn't care. As long as I was alive and able to shoot a gun he was happy. It was all about him. He cares about me, I think, but he cares about himself more."
"You're done," Richard said seriously. "When this is all over, you'll never have to pick up a weapon ever again. You can live the life you choose."
"That's not entirely true. You're not letting me completely disconnect myself from you."
Richard frowned. "Daisy, when the time comes... we're not going to force you to stay in contact. We're your family. You're ours. We really do hope that one day you see that."
"But if I don't?" I whispered.
Richard swallowed and closed his eyes. "We'll let you go."
"Really?"
"When this is all over, if you don't want to be apart of our family; if you're not happy, then we'll let you go. We want you to stay here with us, Daisy, but not if it makes you miserable. We're not going to force you to live a life you don't want." Richard's voice cracked.
"You're so different," I whispered.
Richard smiled. "I'm glad you think that."
I looked around the room and noticed there were many photographs. I stood up from the couch and walked over to a shelf and picked a photograph up.
I was in her arms, smiling, laughing. She was looking down at me with pure joy in her eyes.
"You were such a smiley baby," Richard said softly. "All she had to do was look at you and you'd laugh and giggle non stop. She loved that about you. Jasper was a moody baby, but you were a bundle of joy."
I swallowed and slowly sat back down on the couch, but stayed looking at the photograph. "What was she like?" I whispered and looked up at Richard. I could feel tears in my eyes.
"She was the most amazing woman I'd ever met," Richard said. "She was the kindest mother. She had the purest heart. She only wanted what was best for you and Jasper. She was... completely and utterly incredible."
"What happened?" I sniffed. "How did she-" I wiped my eyes. "How did she pass?"
"Leukaemia," Richard whispered.
I sighed. "That's shit."
"My deepest regret was that she passed not knowing about you," Richard said softly and I gasped when he took my hand, squeezing it tightly. "Not knowing that you were alive. Not knowing that you'd grow up into a beautiful young lady. You look just like her."
"Stop," I whispered and closed my eyes.
"Keep the photograph," Richard said.
"No, I can't-"
"It's yours," Richard said.
I paused. "Thank you."
Richard smiled. "Daisy, can I ask you for something?" Richard asked cautiously.
I frowned. "What?"
"I want to hug you," Richard said so quietly I barely heard him. "I want to hold you, my baby, my daughter-"
I put my hand up to stop Richard talking and bit my lip. A tear slipped down my cheek and I knew that if I started crying I wouldn't stop.
"I don't let people in," I whispered. "I don't trust people. I screwed it up with Eli just because all I seem to know what to do is run away."
"You can trust us, Daisy," Richard said. "You don't need to run away."
"It's what I'm good at," I sighed and shuffled across the couch until I was next to Richard. There was no awkwardness whatsoever when he wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. His arms felt safe. I relaxed and wrapped my arms around Richard. I had never hugged Rob like this. I felt protected with Richard.
Is this what dads were meant to make you feel like?
"You're strong, Daisy. Don't run. Face what life throws in your way," Richard whispered.
I clutched the photograph in my fingers and looked up at Richard. "I used to be strong. Now I don't even know who I am."
"I do," Richard said.
"Don't," I whimpered and tears fell. "Don't say it."
"You're strong. You're a fighter. You're my daughter, Daisy."
And with that I cried. I had so many emotions running through my mind. I didn't know what to do.
So I cried.
I cried until I had no tears left.
"Dad, I don't know what to do-" Jasper stopped talking when he walked into his fathers lounge and saw Daisy sleeping on the couch. "Funnily enough I was coming to talk to you about her."
"It's going to take time," Richard said softly. "She wants to open up and let people in, I know she does."
"She's scared," Jasper sighed.
"She is. She's always been closed off, dealing with everything herself, but now she's overwhelmed. So much has happened to her and she doesn't know how to handle it all herself. She wants to trust other people, but she's scared to."
"I don't think she really knows how to trust many people," Jasper frowned. "She trusts some of the agents, but not completely."
"Not like she trusts Eli," Richard said. "The way they were with each other in the interrogation room... she trusts him completely."
"Rumour has it they hated each other," Jasper chuckled. "Rumour also has it that Blake is one of the only other people that can get through to her, but I'm not so sure about that anymore."
"If two people can do it then we can too," Richard said. "We're family, if we can't get through to her then I don't know what we'll do."
"She's not easy to handle," Jasper said.
"We've got some work to do," Richard said. "When this is all over I want her to choose us."
Jasper sighed and sat down on a couch. "This is not going to be bloody easy."
Richard looked down at Daisy and gently pushed some of her hair back. "I'm just glad to have her here, at the moment she's safe. That's all that matters."
"Hey, whoa, you're okay!" Jasper said quickly when I woke up and panicked, not recognising the unfamiliar lounge.
"Where the hell am I?" I demanded and looked around. I was still at Richard's house. "Shit, I fell asleep?"
"You did," Richard said and walked into the lounge. He was dressed in checked cotton trousers and a navy cotton top. It took me a moment to realise they were pyjamas. I had never seen Rob in pyjamas. "You looked peaceful, I didn't have the heart to wake you."
"What time is it?" I asked and looked around for my bag.
"A little after 10," Richard told me.
"Here." Jasper passed me my bag and I checked my phone, rolling my eyes when I saw missed calls.
"I've got to get back," I said and pushed the blanket that had been laid over me off.
"You..." Richard paused. "You're welcome to spend the night here. If you want."
"I, um-" I looked from Richard to Jasper. "I should, er, I need to-"
"I'm going back to my house," Jasper said, jumping me off and stopping my random blubbering. He smiled slightly. "I can give you a lift?"
"That sounds- let's do that," I nodded.
"Daisy," Richard said, "thank you. For coming. You're always welcome here."
"Er..." I coughed and nodded. "Cheers."
"Shall we get going?" Jasper wondered and stood up. He held his hand out to me and raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah," I muttered and took his hand, letting him pull me up from the couch.
"See you soon, dad," Jasper nodded and Richard squeezed Jasper's shoulder.
I had never seen such a small gesture seem so comforting.
"Get her home safe, son."
"Who do you think I am?" Jasper asked and rolled his eyes.
"An ass." The words came out before I could stop them. "I mean... you-"
"I can be an ass," Jasper said with a small smirk. "Lets go, little sis."
"Goodbye, Daisy," Richard said and I paused when he placed his hand on my arm. "Promise you'll come back soon?"
"I don't do promises," I said dismissively.
"I'm sure you can make an exception," Richard said and I sighed.
"Fine," I said. "I promise."
Richard smiled and squeezed my arm softly. "See you soon, Daisy."
I shrugged my shoulders and walked out behind Jasper. I climbed into his car and he started the engine.
"Your friends were looking for you," Jasper said as he pulled away. "They were worried."
"I'm a big girl, they know I can handle myself," I said dismissively.
"What you said earlier-"
"I don't want to talk about earlier," I cut Jasper off.
"Fine, okay," Jasper sighed. "We won't talk about earlier. Can I ask you a question?"
"What?"
"Why is Eli so pissed?"
I eyed Jasper cautiously. "What do you mean?"
"He punched a wall today."
"Why would I know what's got Eli annoyed?" I shrugged.
"I thought you guys were close," Jasper said.
"Close?"
"Yeah. He's one of the only people who can get through to you."
"I don't know what's up with him," I snapped. "And that's not true."
"It isn't?"
"No," I lied and rubbed my eyes. "It's not."
"You wouldn't lie to your brother, would you?" Jasper asked and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Of course I would," I said.