Zoya’s P.O.V
As Silas's words registered in my mind, a sense of clarity swept over me like a violent wind over a grassy plain, making everything in its path bend to its will. Suddenly, everything made sense — Lily's murder, Silas's flight, and the strange behavior of the townspeople. My heart thundered in my chest as I began to recognize the gravity of the situation. My mind was racing with realization, the pieces of the puzzle finally fitting together. It all made sense now - the murder of Lily, and Silas's story of fleeing the mountains, the strange looks I received when I first arrived in this town. Lily was Ezra's mate, which meant that Ezra was also a wolf, and he was Silas' brother.
The memory of that fateful night when Lily was murdered came flooding back to me. I could almost feel the weight of the fear and confusion that engulfed me as I witnessed the tragedy. I remembered what I felt after I watched Cam drive away in her motorcycle, how I watched the lights disappear downhill before opening the door and seeing the unconscious body of a bloodied and bruised stranger in the middle of the living room of the cabin that I was supposed to be living in.
I remembered when I had first headed into town and everyone had been curious about the new doctor, the new resident that was now part of their territory. How had I not seen it before? The truth was right in front of me all along, but I had been too blind to see it. It wasn't obvious in the moment, but in retrospect it was as clear as a torch in a pitch black night.
My heart was racing with a mixture of fear and anger. I had been living in the middle of a town filled with wolves, unaware of their true nature. It was a terrifying realization, but it also made me question again and again. Why me? Why was I the one with the rotten luck? Why was I fated to end up here, in the middle of nowhere and a town filled with supernatural creature? Why couldn’t my fate have been different?
"How many of you are wolves? How many are humans?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. I did not know what answer I expected, or which one I preferred; all I knew was that I had to know, I had to, or else I just might go insane. I braced myself for his answers, anticipating it and fearing it all the same.
“Everyone in the Sapphire Mountains belongs to the pack. Some are humans, but they are only few in number,” he told me, eyes finally meeting mine. Silas's answer sent shivers down my spine. His voice was grave, as though he understood how it felt to be a clueless human suddenly thrust into this whole supernatural situation without wanting to be a part of it. But I knew he did not understand exactly how I felt, because how could he? He was born into this, he had known about this secret world underneath the skin of mine ever since their Moon Goddess waved him into creation. This was his life, and I was only dragged into it.
The world spun around me as I tried to comprehend the extent of the situation. I had been living in the middle of a town filled with wolves, and it was now caught between a deadly rivalry and a murder case involving two brothers. I felt like the ground had been ripped out from under me, as it turned out that everything I thought I knew was a lie. The world I had been living in was not what it seemed, and the people I had been interacting with were all part of this pack, this community of werewolves.
I felt like an outsider, like I was never meant to belong here. I felt betrayed, as if I had been lied to the whole time. Everyone had known except for me, and they were all too happy to let me go about my days with ignorance, and I felt awful about that.
I felt fear, confusion, and uncertainty grip me tightly, choking me with its vise-like grip and digging its sharp, sharp claws into the skin of my neck, drawing blood. How was I supposed to trust anyone when everyone around me was hiding something so big? How was I supposed to go about my daily life knowing that the people I interacted with were not entirely human?
Was Cam a part of this? Did she know and just let me run around cluelessly? And Ezra… he knew. In fact, he was one of the main characters in this whole shitshow, involved in its every twist and turn that you could not mention Lily and not think about Ezra. I felt hurt and angry — hurt that they kept the truth from me for so long, and angry at myself for trusting these people so easily and without much question.
How could I have been so foolish? One would think that, after the trauma Ravi, Tania, and all the people who were once my friends put me through, I would think twice before letting other people, let alone strangers, inside the walls I put up to protect myself. But no, I had been desperate for companionship, plagued by my loneliness, that I let anyone walk up the shores of my island and lay waste to my sands.
I couldn't help but feel a sense of paranoia, as if I was being watched and judged by every pair of eyes around me. I wanted to shed my skin and turn it inside out, curl up in a ball, and never allow myself to be perceived by anyone.
My heart was racing, and I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. The reality of the situation was suffocating me, and I didn't know how to deal with it. It was as if I was in a dream, a nightmare, and I couldn't wake up no matter how hard I tried.
"I need time to think," I said, my voice wavering, but I still heard, thankfully, that there was some finality to it that I hoped Silas would hear as well. "Please, leave me alone. Please."
Silas nodded, understanding written in his expression. "Dress your wounds first, otherwise you'll get infected,” he said. “You probably already know that, being a doctor.”
He stood to get the first aid box, but I cowered away from him once again, just like I had when he had first entered the room. The only difference was, this time, I had all the knowledge at my disposal, but I couldn’t fathom any of it.
“You should never know I will never hurt you." His voice sounded too sincere for his own good.
"Why?" I demanded, and this time my voice did not tremble. I clenched my fists until my knuckles blanched, and I forced the words out of my mouth before I could chicken out again. “You think after everything you told me, that I would still trust you enough to let you stay here? You think by reminding me that you wouldn’t hurt me, you’ll get a free pass to deceive your packmates or whatever and still be able to stay here like nothing happened? Newsflash for you, Silas! I want you gone! I don’t want to see you in my house another second!”
He stared at me, trying to weigh his options, as if he was wondering what his next move was going to be. Then, when he finally answered, part of me almost wished that he hadn't, while a part of me sang in chorus about how every goddamn thing, what I felt and thought about him, how he and I behaved around each other, made sense again, even though it did not unfold the way I had wanted it to.
“I didn’t say that I’ll never hurt you because I wanted some kind of favor, Zoya.” Silas said, his eyes never leaving mine. “I said it because I don’t have the ability to hurt you, Zoya.”
“Why, damnit?”
“Because you're my mate.”