"I don't know what happened or why they arrived!"
Nyx was frustrated, pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. The rest of the members of the pack had slowly backed up and retreated to their homes. I, Hades, Arcane, Tew, and Nyx are the only ones left.
The rest of us are sitting on the ground, resting our eyes her walking restlessly back and forth. Mumbling and talking to herself, seemingly going through her spells or something. Arcane's arm is still around my shoulders, always protecting me, and to be honest, I'm beginning to like it. I love it, never feeling alone and almost fully believing that I will always have someone at my side to support me. Almost. A new intoxicating feeling I'm a bit scared to rely on or become addicted to because it feels like I am.
Again, Nyx's voice called me out of my own trail of thoughts,
"This should not have happened! It is a perfectly normal ritual! The typical Viking ritual for calling for the old Norse gods, appreciating them, and praising them. There was nothing wrong with it! "
In the last part, she was almost shouting! Obviously, both anxious and a bit angry. Then she stopped dead in her tracks, and her eyes landed on me. No, actually, they pinned me like she tried to see through me, and I had to fight the urge to make myself smaller and hide behind Arcane.
"And why did they choose you?! They never spoke through anyone else; no matter who answered my call, they always spoke through me."
It almost felt like I did something wrong because now everyone was looking at me, studying me like they expected to see why I was chosen. Again, sweet Arcane came to my rescue. Maybe not, but it felt like it when he broke the silence, taking everyone's attention off me,
"But who was it? And what did they want?"
She huffed and finally sat down by the fire. Easing the stress coursing through me while she paced back and forth, looking distressed and worried. Her shoulders slumped down, and her eyes now rested on the ground in front of her while she started picking on some single grass straws: plucking and fiddling.
"It was the Norns. I still don't understand why they came or what I did wrong! It makes no sense. Did you see or feel anything special? What they planned or referred to?"
"No. Well, I felt powerful and good kind off."
I mumbled, a little embarrassed before I continued,
"I knew the words before they spoke, but I have no idea what they meant with them or what was behind them, just that parts of me miss the feeling. Weird, I know, but it almost felt like they took a part of me when they left."
Arcane stiffened, and Nyx frowned. I cleared my throat awkwardly, scratching my neck and quickly trying to brush it aside.
" But Dragon? We know where she is now, right? Should we not focus on that? Make a plan to get her back? For the first time, we know where she is, with whom, and we need to act now."
"It is not that easy. Yes, we know where the dragon lives; the problem is getting there."
"Okay? Is it far away? "
Confused, I watched as they all sent that strange look between them.
"What?"
"His castle is not in this realm, and it is above the skies."
Frustration crept into my mind again; why is this happening? We finally find where she is, and now we can't go there? Tew got up, brushed his clothes off, and raised his voice,
"I will take care of that. Go rest. Eat and sleep, and we leave tomorrow morning."
Nothing more, nothing less, and then he walked away. Hades soon followed, and Arcane helped me up. Nyx nodded slowly too, but her eyes still followed me, and I was not sure I was comfortable with her new curiosity and obvious attention. Parts of me wanted to ask her price, what they demanded of her, but another part of me believed that was not a question I could ask her. If she didn't tell us, she didn't want us to know, and I had no right to know. But still, there was a little nagging feeling in my stomach that I could not explain.
Making me look back at her longer than I probably should as Arcane led me away and back to his cabin.
"Our!"
Dumbfound, I stared back at him,
"Stop saying you like my home; it is our home. "
I'm still at a loss here. It is his home, he is letting me stay here, and I am, of course, grateful. But it is not mine, not even if we become a couple. It will still be his, so his logic is brushing right past me and making no sense. To top it all off, it felt so surrealistic. Are we really having a little mini argument, in the middle of all these other strange things happening, about whose house and home this is?
"I.. But no. It is yours, of course, it is. I am just a guest, and I appreciate you making me feel welcome, but I will never lay claim on your house."
I smiled as sweetly as I could. I didn't want him to believe I was a gold digger, wanting to take everything he had to his name, starting with this beautiful little building he called home. It felt good saying it like I had just defused a bomb, so his reaction surprised me even more. It is not right to call t angry, but yeah, the closest to anger I've seen and hurt, I didn't get it. I just promised him I would never take anything away from him, didn't I?
" A guest?"
He almost spat the word out, not at me, but I knew they were aimed at me even when he seemed to repeat it just for himself while pacing back and forth in the little open space in front of the fireplace. I already slumped down in the one and only little wooden chair-like thing here, watching him in disbelief while insecurities nagged inside my head. My mind kept bringing up one after the other insult towards myself, breaking myself down mentally while watching Arcane. I began preparing the answer in my head, tried the sentences over and over again, tried to see how it could be misunderstood, and changed wordings so it would not mean something else and not sound harsh.
"That is all? A guest? Then what am I? Your gracious host?"
His words sounded so hurt, but they hurt like a whip dipped in poison. My heart started pumping; the words stopped on my tongue, and my head went mushy as I began to feel bad. I didn't want to hurt him, but I didn't understand how I just did.
"No.. I mean, I am your guest? And to be honest, you are far from gracious! But you are a good friend and an awesome host. That doesn't mean I want to take your home away from you."
Stupid, stupid. I always do this, trying to lighten the mood with a half-jokingly tone or meaning. This time it didn't help; he let out a dry huff, not even slightly resembling an attempt on laughing.
"Guest, friend, and host."
He had stopped and mumbled a little before he walked straight over to me and looked down at me. I have never been afraid of him; this time did not change that, but I did feel incredibly little beneath his stare, and his words made me want to shrink.
"So when we find Eir, what then? Will you go where she goes? "
"I, don't know. I guess I will."
"You won't need me anymore, turn your back and forget about me, and that is it? Maybe a couple of thoughts sent to an old host every now and then before you blink and forget all about me again?"
"No, I. No, that is not what I meant! I..."
The words stopped there, and I could not find the right ones. Part of me was beginning to see where he was coming from and what went through his mind. But I haven't planned so far ahead. I just want Eir back; I want my one and only friend back and safe. I still had no idea what to say or what I could say; I just watched him as he kneeled down before me before taking my hands in his. Tilting his head slightly from one side to the other to make eye contact.
"Don't you like me?"
"Yes, I like you..."
I felt like a teenager again, my cheeks blushing as I admitted it out loud at the same time as I admitted it to myself.
"Will you love me as I love you, or will you always see me as a host and good friend?"
My stomach made several flips, and an incredible well-hidden flock of butterflies erupted inside my chest as my cheeks began burning. The more I thought about what he said, the heavier my breathing became. Did he just say he loved me? My heartbeat worked its way up my throat. I've never heard that word; not meant for me. Not given to me, never applied to me. I brushed it off years and years ago that that kind of love, that kind of language from one person to the other, only happened in movies and books-a cliché, not real life. The increased heartbeats filled my ears with a pulsating sound, my pulse taking over every inch of me, and I was still staring right at him. Trying to convince myself I heard it all wrong, that here it meant something else!
I love you, don't mean what I think it does. Not for him.
"You.. You don't even know me."
Idiotic and stupid, but it was all I could stutter, unable to look away from him.
"I do, and I don't, but I knew I loved you the moment I first saw you. The moment I first smelled you. The first time I heard your laughter, the first time you hugged me. I know I will never love anyone else as I love you, never see anyone else as I see you, and all I want is for you to see me the same way."