Eir's POV
It had been surrealistic for a while, like I had fallen back into one of those dreams I used to have-that little happy girl and that massive black wolf. Slowly, reality snuck up in my head, and I recognized the wolf. The wolf dreamed about so many times and blamed my imagination, for I even explained it as being fury for a while. Obviously, his beast recognized me or liked me or something. He kept walking around me in circles while everyone else just watched in silence.
Brushing his thick fur against me, he sniffed my hair, neck, and even feet. It was weird, really, especially when I finally managed to relax and remember how to breathe again. I can't claim I recognize him, not even his wolf, but Drifta does for some reason. She wasn't even with me when I supposedly knew him, but still, she won't budge. Drifta kept insisting that he was family, that this was our father, she recognized this wolf as her family, and I am still struggling with how to handle this.
Should I just accept it as the truth? Or should I be skeptical; if I can accept or believe it, does it make me happy? Then I lost control; the massive black wolf whined when I started panicking. My eyes locked with yellow beast eyes just as a warm hand landed on my shoulder. His warm breath fanned the sensitive skin on my neck and ear, and finally, I managed to relax.
"Breath, She needs out. You are just shifting. Breath."
I heard his warm and calm whisper through the cacophony of horrifying sounds erupting inside of me. I can't remember shifting was this painful and gruesome, but his voice guided me like warm fluid through a sharp and rocky environment. Bones broke, shifted, relocated. Skin broke, tore, peeled back, and revealed thick, white fur.
Then I lost my footing, and panic almost added to the mix again, and the loss of his voice. Something I clung to like it was the only thing that kept me sane. But long before my body could react to my thoughts, he was there again. The cold-hearted dragon, with his soothing voice and warm skin. Whispering in my ear, guiding us through while I huffed and puffed like I was about to collapse. The mental switch happened last, the moment when I felt myself being pushed back in my own mind, and it was an incredible relief. All the pain, all fear, anxiety, and stress vanished. Like Drifta pushed me back into safety, taking the stand between me and that black wolf.
But that's also when her feelings washed over me. I knew how she felt, but now I was hit by the strength behind it-the pain, sadness, excitement but also anger and resentment. Wow, this wolf is as much of a mess as me! However, I understood it all. The excitement to meet family, a family that actually wanted to meet me and have me in their life. Pain realizing he had been here all along, that I could have been here all along, that it had caused as much pain for him as it had to me in one way or another.
Anger towards my mom, but also, I felt sad for my mom and the situation she found herself in back then. Letting all these feelings register through me, I heard Drifta making the same whining and growling sound, and it made me understand the black wolf. As a matter of fact, I felt like we connected with him, with them both. Not only did I understand and relate to his reaction and feelings, but slowly I felt like I knew him. Recognizing his movements, how his thick fur waved in the wind, triggered a small glimpse to appear in my mind. The sounds of a child laughing, the warm sun on my skin, and running carelessly through long and soft grass following a black wolf.
I have no idea how long it took, but after I finally shifted and Drifta had all control, I managed to relax after a while and just watch them. It was a fun altercation, switching between playful and curious playing and teasing, testing grounds, and challenging each other's position. Never something really serious, but it was clear they both struggled to find where their rank would be next to the other.
Now, several hours later, I feel both drained and happy. There is no longer any doubt nagging at the back of my mind; I am confident this is my father. The monster my mother used to mutter about, the man my mother claimed never existed, was dead or that she didn't even know his name every time she was sober for a couple of minutes. Now, looking at him across the room, I feel both sad and content. That cold and overbearing attitude he had when we first met was gone; all I could see in his eyes now reflected what I felt. Sadness and joy, his eyes resting on me with a little smile, but his eyes felt something else. And I knew all too well what he felt. This all felt so bittersweet, but also, I now feel calm. The room is warm and dimmed, and the open flames cast dancing shades and light patterns on the walls around us.
"I have so much I want to tell you, talk to you about, but I also guess you have many questions as well."
He smiled, and it dawned on me how he suddenly seemed so much older now compared to when I arrived. Is it just me seeing him in a different light and not being scared?
"She has been told her story, but all the sources are either questionable, building it on rumors or stories; I think it would be best she heard your side of this story."
Seb's voice still had this calmness over it, but now I could feel the slight tingle of authority laying as a heavy blanket over my subconsciousness and Drifta. My father nodded a couple of times slowly, without really looking at any of us or anything in particular.
"I can wait outside if you want me to."
"I want you here."
I did, but I surprised myself by saying it out loud. He sat down again without a word, something I was grateful for. I had no way of explaining why. I felt safe with this man, my father, but having Seb here calmed me down.
"And yes, I have questions. But I also want to hear everything; I want to know what happened. Why my life has been like it have, and why she left. I've heard a lot, and even if some of it explains a lot of it, it still doesn't make sense. Why would she run with me, leave my brother, without making sure she had reason to?"
His brows furrowed when I mentioned my life. I didn't want to tell him how I grew up. I still remember how Tew remembered her, our mother, and I didn't want to break him even more. Ruin the way he remembered her. I know he would find out eventually, but that doesn't mean I have to rub it in his face and all that.
"I want to hear about everything about your life and your mother! You have no idea how much you both have been in my mind, thoughts, and dreams. I've played that day, that night, even that entire week and time she spent here so many times. Trying to find out where I went wrong, what I did wrong, and I knew I was far from perfect. I actually realized I did so many things the wrong way and spent years fixing it, but it never changed the fact that she left. The war and feud were not the right way to go; I know that now and it ruined the connection between our packs forever. But I was so hurt, so irrational. I didn't know where she went, where you went. I didn't even know if you were okay or alive. Not knowing was tearing me apart and screwing with my mind, and I let it affect my sanity and ability to take care of my pack for a while. So, I made many stupid decisions I regret to this day and will probably take to my grave."
He took a deep breath, pausing while his head was hanging a little. I felt shame reeking of him. Shame and pain, but then he suddenly looked up at me and smiled. His smile didn't reach his eyes, but he tried and nodded a little like he was encouraging himself to continue.
"Anyway, you don't need to hear all this. Not now, anyway, so let me start at the beginning. The day I first met your mother, my mate. The day my life was turned upside down, and that eventually gave me Tew and you. It all started at the Vikings pack; I was finally allowed a place at the Vikings mate hunt. Later it still didn't make sense to me that we were not mates because it felt like it all was faith. So many small happenings, events, and decisions that led up to this meeting."