Sophie
"Remember, you can always come to me or dad, for anything. Dad and I will always be here for you. Don't be afraid to talk to us when something doesn't seem right. I've always told you, follow your gut. Don't do something that doesn't feel right. I know you wanted to help Kenzie, but you and she could have been hurt. Promise me that you will come to ask for help next time?" I cupped my son's face, I was trying to remain calm in front of him, but the truth is... I felt sickening worried.
The side of my stomach wouldn't cease. It kept getting worst by the minute and now it was getting closer towards my middle. Nate dropped his little head and nodded, "I promise mom, I'm very sorry I made you worried." he said as he cupped my face and kissed my nose. I sighed and hugged him tightly. "You and dad are far too important to me. I don't know what I'd do without either one of you." I said as I became overwhelmed, more than I already was. I began crying, heaving as I hugged my baby.
Logan soothed my back and kissed my head. I felt his strong arms around around us, making me feel protected. I clutched to his arm, kissing him over his white thermal shirt and sniffled. "I think mom is a bit overwhelmed right now buddy. Why don't we prepare a nice warm cup of tea for her and call it a night, huh? We can continue this conversation some other time." Logan suggested. I couldn't agree more, this whole day was just too overwhelming.
Nathan nodded, wiping away my tears and hugging me one more time. "Mommy, please don't be mad at Kenzie. She's my best friend, and I don't want you to be mad at her." I smiled and tilted my head, "Baby, I am not mad at her. I understand Kenzie. She misses her dad, just like I miss grandma Hailey." I said as I reminded him that his grandma, or my mom, had passed away a few years ago, and I missed her terribly. "I know Kenzie wants to meet her dad, and we are going to do whatever we can to convince Amber to let us find him. So don't you worry about it, ok?" he nodded with his little head down.
"You know, Nate, Kenzie is lucky to have you as her best friend. You have the biggest heart in this world. Well...besides daddy." I said, winking and leaned close to his ear, "But don't tell him, or his head will grow bigger than his ego." Nathan giggled, looking at Logan. Logan was now in the kitchen, heating up water and preparing three mugs, one with tea, the other two with hot cocoa. He had taken a warm bath when we got home, and to his request, we were all wearing these cute family pajamas, with red and black bottom in a flannel pattern, red and white thermal shirts that had a big wolf in the front wearing a Christmas hat. The wolf resembled the wolf mascot from our old high school.
I sighed, as I admired the sight of Logan. I am so blessed to have him and my son in my life, they are truly my world.
*******
I had just laid in bed trying to relax, but it seems the pain in my stomach felt stronger when I laid down. My mind was not at ease, and I honestly was beginning to fear the worst. "Are you ok, Soph? You've been tossing and turning babe. What's going on?" Logan asked as I sat up. The pain was becoming unbearable, and I was scared because they were far too much like labor pairs. I glanced at him with concern as he placed his hands on my shoulders.
"I think I need to go to the hospital. The baby is not ok." my tears ran down my cheeks as I grasped my stomach. His eyes went wide and quickly got off the bed, kneeling before me. "What do you...what do you mean, the baby is not ok?"
The knot in my stomach was too unbearable. I pulled him, wrapping my arms around him, crying like a little girl. I've never been so scared in my life as I am now. This was my baby...our baby... I can't lose him. Or her.
He didn't hesitate. He quickly placed a coat over me, and placed his jacket on, rushing me out the door and hauled out towards the hospital. Riley was just as worried, but just to make sure we didn't worry Nate, she had offered to stay behind and keep an eye on him.
"Call me as soon as you can. Everything will be fine sweetheart, just have faith. The baby will be just fine." she said before we left. But... I had a feeling things were not going to be ok. This was devastating, and if I could... I'd trade places with my baby, take all of the baby's pain away and place it in me.
God, I should of cane sooner, I should of listened and followed my instincts, but I was so scared trying to find Nate and Kenzie. Trying to bring them home safely that I thought... Maybe, just maybe, if I tough it out, the baby will be fine.
I don't know what I'm going to do if something bad happens to this baby. But I do know, is that I will try my hardest, give it my all to maintain the baby alive if I can.
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