Hailey's POV
I haven't seen Daniel in years, not since my senior year of high school. He was the boyfriend I had almost fallen in love with. It scared me so much that I broke up with him the day after I realized it. I broke his heart for no other reason than that I was scared of him breaking mine one day. I know, total bitch move.
"Why do you look so scared of him?" Ian asked, seeming both surprised and worried by my reaction.
"I haven't seen him since I broke his heart back in high school."
"Oh, I'm going to need more of that story," he said, seeming to find amusement in it. This was the Ian I wanted to bring out more. The one that wasn't afraid to tease or play around. "Come on. We're not going to cower away. Hold my hand, and maybe he'll be less inclined to speak to you," he offered, holding his hand out.
I grabbed it without hesitation, interlocking our fingers and allowing him to lead the way to the food truck. I tried to keep my head ducked low in hopes that he wouldn't recognize me. Sweet Dan was a really good guy and the second guy I had ever slept with. I remembered wishing he was my first, but my real first was a memory I liked to push down and pretend never happened. I thought we were in the clear as he passed us by, but then I heard my name leave his lips, and I was back to being the 17-year-old me, falling in love. My chest tightened, and I squeezed Ian's hand.
"Hailey Medina, is that you?" he asked, causing me to turn and look right into those hazel eyes.
"Oh my gosh, Dan?" I pretended not to have already noticed him as I responded.
"Yeah, it's me. Oh man, it's so good to see you!" He smiled at me, relieving me of the worry that he might hate me. But it only caused my chest to tighten further.
"You too!" I smiled back.
"Hi, I'm Daniel, one of Hailey's high school classmates." Dan extended his hand towards Ian as he introduced himself. It was good to know Dan was that same sweet, polite guy he used to be in high school, as he introduced himself as my old classmate instead of my ex to not cause any trouble. He could probably tell there was something romantic between Ian and me by the way we were holding hands.
"Hello, I'm Ian, Hailey's boyfriend." Ian shook his hand firmly. "Is this that Daniel, Hailey? One of your exes?" Ian had suddenly become the shit-stirrer, shocking me into silence.
"So she told you about me?" Dan smirked, looking at me in surprise.
"She did, not very much, though. She was quiet about it," Ian continued, stirring the damn pot further. For once, I didn't find it very amusing. I didn't want to drag Dan into whatever game we were playing.
"Makes sense. I wasn't that important," he said, breaking my heart. No, Dan, you were the most important. Too important. "I'll be on my way now. It seems you two are busy. It was nice running into you, Hailey."
Dan flashed me that sweet smile of his, but those hazel eyes lingered on mine a moment longer, showing me his sadness. He turned, walking down the sidewalk with his shoulders slightly slumped. It was bold, but I let go of Ian's hand and ran towards Dan, grabbing his wrist and making him stop. I needed to fix this. I needed to tell him the truth.
"You were the most important guy to me then, Dan. The most important. I was falling in love with you, and I was so scared and stupid. I am sorry, Daniel. I swear you meant a lot to me- more than I ever expected you to. I am so sorry I hurt you back then," I admitted my greatest shame. I had caused him heartache for no other reason than to save myself from a hypothetical heartbreak. Daniel just stared at me for what felt like an eternity before he hugged me tightly.
"Thank you, Hailey. You don't know how long I have wondered whether you ever felt anything for me. It would run through my mind constantly, asking myself if I had done anything wrong or maybe not enough. It's plagued me with doubts for years. I really needed to hear those words from you," he whispered as he held me.
"I'm so sorry, Daniel. I never meant to hurt you."
"I know you didn't. You're too kind-hearted of a person, which is why I thought I had done something wrong. I wish it could have worked out. I really loved you, Hailey."
"I think I loved you already, too, and that's what scared me."
"Because of your parents, I remember," he said, surprising me as he let me go. I nodded, confirming what he said. "I don't blame you, Hailey. You were only 17. We were young and stupid. Surely you don't think that way now."
I nodded, pretending I didn't. It seems I'm not as emotionally healthy as I thought. Is that really something I should be over by now?
"You better hurry back to your boyfriend. Thank you for telling me the truth, Hailey. Thank you for giving me the closure I didn't realize I needed." He turned me towards Ian before he whispered in my ear. "Don't make the same mistake twice."
With that, Dan left, and I felt sliced right down the middle. I don't want to fall in love. It's a scary thing, one I can't handle. I'm not ready.
My day with Ian had come and gone, with Daniel's words lingering for the last few hours of it. Ian had picked up on my mood and, surprisingly, tried to cheer me up. We collected the painting, and it now hangs on my bedroom wall, taunting me. You'll never fall in love.
"If you don't pay attention, you're going to cut your damn finger off, Space Cadet." Christin snapped me out of my thoughts. She was giving me a cooking lesson today, starting with the basics- knife skills. I had learned to slice and was now moving onto dicing. "What's on your mind?"
"Love." I sighed.
"Oh? With who?" She put her knife down, turning to face me.
"No one. Just love in general. I'm wondering if it's really worth it."
"Ay Dios, are you still not over this?" she asked, sounding exasperated.
"What do you mean?"
"You've been like this since your parents divorced. I understood it then, but I assumed you'd grow up and get over it."
"Get over it, how?" I asked, feeling annoyed at the notion that everyone thought I should be over this by now.
"By realizing how beautiful the love your parents had was, tell me something. Have you ever asked your dad how he feels about love now? He's the one that actually suffered the heartbreak that you're using as an excuse to hide from love." She picked the knife back up, pointing it at me before going back to chopping a little too aggressively.
"Well, no. I didn't think he'd want to talk about it."
"Oh, Leelee." She used the nickname she created when we were kids. "You're too old for this crap. Talk to your dad and get over this fear. You're going to get your heart broken, it's inevitable. That's what makes love so beautiful, because when you finally find it, you learn to appreciate it," she said, sounding firm in her belief.
I finished our cooking lesson with her words repeating in my head. Am I really being unreasonable? Once I cleaned up, I decided to give Papi a call. I guess now's as good a time as any to ask him about it.
"Hola, Nena. To what do I owe the pleasure?" he answered.
"Can I talk to you about something serious? Do you have time?" I asked, picking at my sheets beneath me as I sat on my bed.
"For you? Always! What is it?"
"Do you ever regret falling in love with Mami?" I asked right away.
"What brought this on?" he asked, sounding surprised.
"Just answer the question, Papi. Do you regret it?"
"Never. I'd do it 100 times over," he answered instantly this time.
"Even though she broke your heart the way she did?"
"Yes, because the love I had with your mother for those years was the happiest years of my life. It brought me you girls, my business, and a wonderful marriage for a while. Your mother felt neglected as I was working so hard on the restaurants. I can't really blame her for what she did when I wasn't being the best husband." The way Papi saw his love with Mami was so vastly different from the way I viewed it.
"That doesn't excuse what she did," I pointed out, reminding him he was not the bad guy in this scenario.
"I know, Nena. Don't worry. I just want you to understand that she wasn't entirely to blame. If you pick the right partner, you can find everlasting happiness, but you both have to be willing to work towards it every day. Love is a beautiful thing, mi cielito, but it takes a lot of work and commitment. A lot of times that's where people fail, believing love should be easy. They're wrong," Papi said, sounding so wise all of a sudden.
"Thank you, Papi. I'll let you get back to work. I love you."
"I love you, too."
Hearing what Papi had to say caused me to realize this was an irrational fear I really needed to get over. But could I?