Eda's POV
I stared at the beautifully designed wedding invitation on my desk. The minimalist yet elegant style exuded a casual and refined vibe.
The off-white card was adorned with a light blue ribbon and featured the wedding details of Blake and Catherine in an exquisite font.
Blake and Catherine were getting engaged. From the bottom of my heart, I was genuinely happy for them and sent my heartfelt congratulations.
They had the courage to step into marriage and continue their sweet love story, which was truly enviable. But at least, I couldn't do it myself.
I reached out and touched my still-flat stomach. Besides the occasional waves of nausea, I hardly felt any different. My body seemed to be functioning as usual.
"Ugh, this is so annoying!" I propped my head up with my hand and fiddled with my bangs, too agitated to focus on work.
I felt like I was going through the worst phase of my life.
"Turns out, enjoying happiness comes with a price. I really should have been more cautious back then." In my view, being intimate with someone wasn't a big deal.
On the contrary, ever since I got together with Benjamin, I felt like my life was complete. I relished every single moment with him.
But after all that enjoyment came the current tricky predicament.
My phone suddenly rang. I glanced at the caller ID and immediately covered my ear.
It was Benjamin. I really didn't want to answer. I was afraid that as soon as he spoke, he'd bring up marriage and having kids. I just didn't want to talk about it. The thought filled me with dread.
I'd rather offend him or ignore him than face that topic.
Was there something wrong with my psychology? And it seemed pretty serious.
Just as I was covering my ear and pretending not to hear the ringing, the office door was suddenly pushed open by a large hand.
Benjamin appeared at the doorway. The moment he saw me covering my ear, his eyes dimmed instantly.
It was only when Benjamin walked up to me with heavy steps that I realized someone was approaching.
I slowly lowered my hands, looked up, and met his deep, hurt-filled gaze.
"Uh... what are you doing here?" My mind went blank for a second, and I realized how pointless my question was.
My tone sounded a bit unnatural.
"Are you okay?" Benjamin's voice was low, full of concern.
I tousled my hair, threw my hands up in a gesture of helplessness, shrugged, and let out a dry laugh. "Do I look okay to you?"
"Do you really dislike kids that much?" Benjamin slowly leaned his hands on my desk, slightly bent over, and stared intently at my expression as he asked seriously.
I bit my lip and thought carefully. "I guess it's not that I hate them. I mean, I really love my little niece. She's like an angel—adorable and sweet."
"So why don't you want to have a child of your own, one as cute as an angel?" Benjamin asked after hearing my words.
I looked up at Benjamin, then gave a self-mocking smile. "You haven't experienced my childhood, so you can't understand the shadows deep inside me. I'm not afraid of having kids because I dislike them. It's just that I'm terrified deep down."
"What exactly happened in your childhood? I've never asked you about it before. Are you willing to tell me now?" Benjamin changed his posture and sat right on the desk, his voice calm and gentle, making me involuntarily let my guard down.
I lowered my head, tightly closed my eyes. When I opened them again, they were filled with disappointment. "When I was very young, my mom sent me to live abroad all by myself. I wasn't as lucky as Howard because he was a boy and I was a girl. She told me straight out that I had to stay in a foreign country with my grandparents while she took Howard back to be with my dad. I didn't understand what independence meant back then, so I ran after my parents' car for a long way, thinking that if I cried hard enough, they'd come back for me. But they didn't. They left me behind."
Benjamin listened quietly as I slowly recounted these past events.
"For a while, I really hated my parents. But then I changed my mind. If it weren't for their hands-off parenting, I wouldn't have become the independent woman I am today. They wronged me, but they also made me who I am."
"Did you have a tough time living with your grandparents? Were you bullied a lot?" Benjamin asked softly, his voice full of concern.
I looked up at Benjamin and gave a gentle smile. "No. Actually, I was the one who often bullied others. My grandparents were royal family members, and you know, royal families have lots of rules. I was always breaking them, so I got scolded and punished a lot. But I kept causing trouble. My cousins were different from me. They had their parents around to discipline them, so they were all well-behaved, polite, and never picked fights. But I did. I got into plenty of fights and was often punished. My grandparents were often upset with me and even got sick because of my antics. I wasn't allowed to attend many important events. I got really bored and lonely. Especially once, during my grandmother's birthday party, she locked me in a small room to keep me from causing trouble. I could only watch the guests through the iron bars. You can't imagine how lonely I felt. But looking back, I guess I deserved it for being so disobedient."