Narrating as Riley:
I am Emily's undercover agent, which is why when Paige told me she's pregnant, it didn't seem right to me that she wouldn't tell Mason. Both of them deserve to be happy. Due to an agreement with Emily, I can't say anything until we have concrete evidence. We can't alert Peyton about our investigation into her lies and her charade of loving Mason when the truth is she only loves his family's money.
I feel powerless. I can't go and tell Emily about the baby growing inside Paige's womb. I am loyal to the friendship I have with her.
On the other hand, my past is something I never thought would resurface in my present. I believed that was all behind me. I never expected to see Lucas again. When I left that country, I didn't think he would reenter my life. Luckily, he didn't say anything when we met. It still hurts to see him. The love I felt for him never went away, and neither did the pain in my heart. That's why I haven't been in a relationship all these years.
What he doesn't know from that time is that I didn't want to lose the baby. My family is a topic I don't touch. Since I left that city, I haven't had any contact with them. I became independent and distanced myself from them after they killed my baby. Yes, it was them who did it, something I didn't tell Lucas at the time.
My beloved mother, note the sarcasm, found out I was pregnant when I was underage. I didn't tell her; I don't even know how she found out. Without my knowledge, she put some drops of something unknown into my tea. I trusted my mother because she gave me life, and I never expected her to harm me in that way. I drank it, and the next day, I had a spontaneous abortion.
I lied to Lucas because I felt guilty, and I still do. That baby was my adoration. I chose for him to hate me rather than suffer as I still do for the loss of our child. I didn't feel strong enough to stay by his side with the guilt of having failed him and the family we were planning to create. Obviously, he has a completely different version of events. I knew he would propose to me, and I couldn't say yes, knowing that I had killed our baby.
My life hasn't been the same since that happened. I changed my way of dressing, my hair—I've been dyeing it ever since I arrived in this country. I could even bet that he didn't recognize me when he saw me. I prefer it that way.
When Paige told me the version Lucas shared about the wicked woman who broke his heart, I wanted to cry knowing how he sees me since the day I left his life. I did things that way so he could rebuild his life and be happy. I never expected him to fall in love with my friend and reappear in my life.
Fate can be cruel at times. I don't know how I'll be able to see him next to Paige when my heart has never had anyone else but him.
I know everything about the charade at Mason's wedding, just like Ethan. The three of us are accomplices of Emily, and we agreed not to inform anyone else. Sarah is not in a condition to be involved in something like this; she should just enjoy her pregnancy.
I'd rather focus on this matter than reminisce about the past, about the summer when I met the love of my life, not knowing that because of my family, we couldn't be together. According to them, it was for my own good. They believed that their money should not fall into the hands of someone without the inheritance and social status to handle our businesses. They couldn't even stand by my side when I discovered what they did. I changed my name and met an older woman with no children, with whom I've been until now. She's my only family, and I'm in the process of changing my last name. It's complicated to do, but as a legal adult, I'm working with a lawyer to find a way to become her legal daughter. She deserves it for supporting me when I was just a shadow of a wounded and damaged girl whom she was able to mend and shape into who I am now.
There are many things about my past that are not easy to share. For example, only the woman I now call mother knows about it. It's not something I'm proud to talk about. I'd rather have people get to know the new woman I am now than pity me for the difficult past I had to endure at just 15 years old when my torment began. I had to learn at a young age that life is not always what we expect that parents are not always the ones who care for us and make us happy. Sometimes it's necessary to distance ourselves to be reborn from the ashes, like the phoenix. Even though it hurts, the family is not always the safe place where we should be protected. In some cases, like mine, family inflicts the most harm due to social and economic interests.
Life sometimes throws punches at strong people like me. That's what my mother tells me and repeats daily. If I hadn't been capable of enduring this, it wouldn't have happened to me. I'm a warrior who has managed to move forward, and I won't allow myself to be brought down again, just as it happened back then, now that I believe I've overcome my past.
I even considered ending my life. I remember those days with a bitter taste inside me. Losing a child is a pain so immense that you feel your life has no purpose, that you have nothing to live for. I searched for ways to leave this world, but that's when my angel found me and brought me back to life. I spent years in therapy, and there are days when I call my psychologist when I feel depressed because I remember my baby. It's something that can never be completely overcome in life. It always lingers within me, that void for the child I couldn't know, and I hope that someday I can look at them with love, even if they belong to another man, not Lucas.