Narrates Riley:
I must admit that I feel like the happiest woman in the world. I am finally a mother, and my little one is a fighter. From his first breath, he has shown strength and bravery. Lucas is equally proud of him, if not more. To be honest, we are both smitten with our son.
Emily has been a great grandmother to him. She gave herself that title, and she has been a tremendous help with Tyler, as we have decided to name him. I feel like I'm living a dream, one that I never thought I would have the opportunity to experience. I dreamed of becoming a mother, and this baby has brought joy into my life, well, our lives.
I feel complete, not because Tyler replaces the baby we lost, not at all. It's just that I believe my life is now perfect, and the future will be perfect and beautiful as I focus on making this little one happy. We will shower him with all the love in the world, and he will have stability in every aspect. We will be there for him in whatever he wants to pursue in life, supporting him as he grows and raising him to be a good man, just like his father – understanding, loving, tender, attentive, sincere, respectful, and loyal.
Lately, when I wake up, I feel the need to pinch myself to make sure that what I'm experiencing is real. It's too perfect, and I fear it might be just a dream. I don't think I could bear going through the loss of another child, and for that reason, I don't want to get my hopes up about another pregnancy if it will put my life at risk, especially when there are children who aren't fortunate enough to be born to a loving mother.
I look at my little one in his crib, and my heart races just from seeing him. I reach my hand in and gently touch his fingers with mine. Unexpectedly, Tyler squeezes my finger with his own. With that simple gesture, I burst into tears. Yes, you read that right, tears. The feeling inside me is as if someone has flipped a switch, unleashing my sensitive side.
Amongst our group of friends, I have always been the tough one. Sarah is the bubbly, sweet, and slightly crazy one. Then there's Paige, who is the voice of reason when we come up with wild ideas. And finally, there's me, the tough nut, the one who can be a bit rough around the edges at times. Together, we are the Powderpuff Girls, lol. It sounds like a joke, but it's true. The three of us are quite similar to those cartoon characters.
Tyler continues to hold my hand, and I don't even want to breathe too heavily, fearing he might let go. Lucas returns from the cafeteria and upon seeing the scene, he takes out his phone and snaps a photo, or maybe more than one. Then he looks at his phone, does something, and tucks it back into his pocket.
He comes closer and says,
"Everything is ready with the documents. Once they give him the green light, we'll be able to take Tyler home," he says excitedly.
"Regarding that..." I try to begin speaking.
"I have everything ready. Your mother is currently organizing her things to move into the house I bought. I hope you're not upset that I didn't consider your input on the house design, but it's beautiful, and I'm sure you'll love it," he says nervously.
"Will she be living with us?" I ask to confirm if I heard correctly.
"Of course, she will. I've already talked to her. Ethan is with her, as well as Sarah. She's excited to meet her grandson, and this way, we can take care of her and be with her as much as possible," he comments, knowing well that her health isn't perfect, and her age is a factor.
"Thank you," I say, tears welling up again.
"You have nothing to thank me for. We are a family, and she is a part of it," he responds, kissing my hair and wiping my cheeks.
Visiting hours are ending, but we're still here. The pediatrician comes to see Tyler and examines him. We never leave his side. The doctor looks at us and says,
"This boy is very strong. He's without oxygen. Tonight, we want to take him out of the incubator because he has been there for the necessary time. Ideally, the mother should stay with him so that he can be by her side during the night and monitor his sleep. If everything goes well, we could discharge him tomorrow with continuous check-ups," he says as our little one cries because he was awakened from his sleep.
"I'll stay with him without any problem," I say eagerly, wanting to hold him to soothe his crying.
"Good. His lungs and oxygen saturation are fine. He's in perfect condition, but I prefer him to stay one more night as a precautionary measure," he finishes speaking and finally lets me hold him.
I watch as Lucas talks to him, making him laugh and nod. Then he steps back, saying goodbye to me, and I think I don't smile at him for making my little one cry.
I manage to calm him down and put him to sleep. I don't want to let go of him since he's finally free from that place that kept him apart from me. But I can't be selfish and not let Lucas hold him. I approach Lucas, who smiles at us, and I hand the baby to him. Nervously, he takes him and speaks to him.
"Hello, son. I'm your dad. I love you, and I promise to take care of you and ensure your well-being. Tonight, we will sleep together, and you'll see that tomorrow we can go home," he says, kissing his forehead.
"What do you mean we'll be sleeping together?" I ask, confused.
"I spoke with the doctor, and he gave me permission to stay as well, so I can help you and also get some rest. Don't be surprised, this will always be the case. I'll be by your side in everything. I'll change diapers, stay up to feed him every three hours, and we'll do everything Tyler needs together," he replies with a smile.
"I love you; I love you both," I say, not knowing what else to say.
We spend the afternoon and night at the hospital. Tyler has been wonderful. He drinks his milk, burps, sleeps, wakes up for diaper changes, and then goes back to sleep. I must admit that neither Lucas nor I have slept. We spent the night awake, taking care of him.
There was even a moment when we dozed off while Tyler was sleeping, but Lucas woke me up when he gently touched Tyler's nose to make sure he was breathing. Lucas was scared, even though Tyler looked peacefully asleep.
As first-time parents, neither of us feels sleepy despite not getting any rest. The excitement and nervousness of our first night as parents outweighed any need for sleep.
In the early hours of the morning, the doctor arrives to discharge our son, which fills us with immense joy. Lucas calls Paige to share the news, and she and Mason will come to pick us up.
We organize Tyler's things and wait for our friends to take us home.
When Paige arrives and sees our son, we soon head home to a place I'm not familiar with, but it doesn't matter. It will be perfect, of that I'm certain.
Peyton narrates.
I find myself outside the hospital, being discharged after giving birth, and the doctor informed me that my son, I mean Riley's son, will also be discharged soon. That's why I'm here, waiting, even if it's just to catch a glimpse of him. Please don't misunderstand my actions; I have no intention of approaching them. I just want to see in Riley's eyes if she truly loves him.
I believe that despite the mistakes I've made in my life, giving that baby up for adoption was the right decision. I'm not ready to be a mother, and I don't think I ever will be in the future. It's better for him to be with someone who can truly make him happy.
As I observe them, I realize that this child will be loved more than anything in the world. I see how Riley's partner takes her by the waist, assisting her as they walk with the baby. He opens the car door for her and carefully ensures that both of them are well. That only confirms what I thought: they will be happy together.
I turn around and leave that place, that city, never to return. It's the best thing I can do, to start fresh somewhere else and be a new, renewed Peyton, far away from everyone who knows me.