“You did what?”
I cringed and squeaked, “I bought his house.”
Beth blinked. “Like as in, you own his house?”
“Well, no, I don’t own it ‘yet’ but he accepted the offer.”
“Of course, he did, you offered thirty thousand over asking! He probably didn’t even look over the papers!” She exclaimed, “Oh god, oh god! Amy!”
I dropped my head to my knees as my face burnt from embarrassment.
“I can’t believe you did this three weeks ago and didn’t say a damn thing!”
“I was freaking out.”
“You were ‘freaking out’?” Her tone reprimanded me. “Amy, you’re pregnant with his baby and just bought his house—all without him knowing!”
I twitched, that was all very true.
“Why did you feel compelled to buy his house!”
“Cause the little skank wanted it!” I blurted out.
She let out a squeak and covered her mouth, amusement all over her.
I rolled my eyes. “That house is beautiful, okay? Ean doesn’t actually want to sell it.”
“Amy, you haven’t even talked to him!” Beth exclaimed, “You don’t know what he wants.”
“But, I know he doesn’t want to sell it.”
She shook her head at me, smiling. “You’re losing it. You need to talk to him. Like now. I mean, yesterday would have been perfect or the day before that or the day before that or . . . maybe, Amy, you should have told him you loved him back at Christmas!”
“I don’t love him,” I said quickly.
She began to laugh.
“What?” I shot, “I don’t even know him!”
She snorted out a laugh. “Oh my, this is hilarious!”
“I don’t love him!” I repeated, “I don’t. I don’t love him!”
“Amy!” She leaned over my leather couch and grabbed my knees, “You said you saved his house from a skank.”
“She was.” I retorted.
“Amy!” Beth laughed again.
“Okay, really. You can stop laughing.”
“It’s hilarious!” She hugged her stomach. “I’m going to die. You bought his house . . . you’re pregnant with his—ha!”
“Beth!” I yelled.
She stopped and looked at me. “You need to talk to him.”
“I can’t. He’s working. Up north or something, he’s basically unreachable.”
“Well, they got ahold of him, he accepted the offer.” She pointed out.
I shrugged. “Not information I can get ahold of.”
“Right, cause the whole town—” She chuckled, “know’s you’re looking for him.”
“Alright, come on!” I exclaimed, “I mean, maybe he just accepted it through email.”
“Do you know when he’s back?”
I nodded once.
She arched an eyebrow, “Oh!”
“He’s back in five days. I’m going there, to meet him. I made it part of the contingency on the purchase.”
Beth burst out laughing.
“Why is it, you find my misery so funny!” I blurted.
“I don’t. It’s just, in all the years I’ve known you—I’ve never seen you crack like this.” She looked me over with amazement.
“What’s that mean?”
“You’ve cracked, Amy Black, because of a man.”
I saw what she did suddenly. “No!”
Beth panicked and stood, trying to calm me. “No, it’s a good thing!”
I shook my head frantically. “It is not!”
“Well, at least, he’s hot!”
“No!” I repeated over and over.
Beth watched me lose my cool. “Amy—”
“I didn’t—” I turned to her, my eyes welling up.
“Hun, it’s not like he’s awful. He’s really a nice man . . .”
I started to cry. “Why did I do this, Beth! Now, I’m almost ten weeks pregnant—”
She stood and came towards me, “Amy, shh.”
“I should back out. I should say I can’t get financing.”
“Amy!” Beth grabbed my shoulders. “At least, go and meet him. If you still feel the same way, worry about it then.”
I swallowed and agreed, even though I wasn’t sure if that was right or not. Beth, however, seemed to have more sense than I did.
“It will be okay. You’ll feel better once you get past this. Remember, you don’t have to be with him, but I’m guessing he’ll want to be included to some degree. You need to be prepared for that.”
I planted a hand to my temple and rubbed.
“It’s okay.” She assured me, “You’ll like having him involved.”
“No,” I squeaked and felt my tears again. “I think I really did like him.”
“Of course, you did. Anyone with a brain and eyes could—” Her sentence collapsed as my eyes burned into her. She took my hand and sat me back to the couch. “You need to relax. Try not to think much about all this. One day at a time.”
I nodded and took in a quick breath. “I wish I could have some wine right now.”
She shrugged and sat back beside me. “It could be worse. You could be pregnant with Richard’s baby.”
I gagged from that notion.
“How about we watch some stupid movie and try not to talk about it, okay?”
We then picked out a movie from the satellite options and then found one bag of popcorn on a back shelf. Elizabeth gave me a lecture on proper eating and I agreed to go grocery shopping the next day with her.
~~~
Elizabeth had become my needed confidant and support system. Since I did lack one altogether, she really did do a fair job. Especially when it came to the blood tests.
I was a giant chicken about needles and I was going to have to continue to suffer as well, it seemed like when you got pregnant you were forced to endure endless poking and weight gain.
By the end of the week, I’d regretfully bought a pair of maternity pants that were comfy but not fashionably forward what so ever. To start with they had a whale of a waistband and even though I still fit my normal pants, my abdomen ached to wear them all day.
I was learning fast, pregnancy was just plain uncomfortable.
I sent my last email off to a company I was looking at dismantling for an extreme amount of money, and made my leave of the quiet office, only to run into Doug at the elevator.
“Have a good week?” He stuffed.
He’d been rather gruff ever since he’d seen Beth and I holding hands in the cafe weeks before but I wasn’t stupid enough to bring all that up again.
“Uh, not bad. I sent you the emails for the new company I was telling you about.”
“Didn’t check yet, but I will.” He hit the button for the elevator again like he wanted away from me.
I nodded and stayed quiet.
The elevator opened for us and we got inside, staying silent all the way down. I said bye to him as he practically ran from me, and made my way out of the building. My phone rang and I answered it quickly to distract myself away from Doug’s odd behavior.
“Hey.” I said, knowing it was Beth.
“Hello.” She chirped, “Did you just leave the office?”
“Yeah.” I admitted.
“Aren’t you driving out tomorrow?”
“I had some last minute stuff come in tonight so I had to stay later then I wanted.”
“Okay, so, did you think about me coming?”
“Yeah.” I was still on the fence. “I should probably go alone, Beth. I mean, I don’t want to bombard him. He’s probably going to freak out already.”
“Okay, well, only if you think you’ll be fine?”
“I guess. I mean as good as I can get.” I was almost home, talking had made the most of the short walk.
“Alright, call me when you get there or something.” Elizabeth said goodbye and then I hung up my phone. Once I got to my apartment, I was going to grab my small packed bag and make the four hour drive for my impending meet up with Ean. He didn’t see it coming and I envied him for it.
I stepped inside my apartment building, now wishing I could swap lives with someone. Anyone.
~~~
Avoid, avoid, avoid . . .
It’s all I told myself as I pulled into the motel parking behind the general store. I realized I was going to be surrounded by people that knew Ean well, the whole night. Staying locked up was imperative to my own survival; however I was hungry and doubted I’d make it the whole night inside the hotel room.
There was a pub attached to the building and once I entered the tiny lobby, the smell of frying food hit me. My mouth watered as I checked in, the fifteen-year-old girl behind the counter less than thrilled with her job.
“Name?” She droned as she sucked on a lollipop.
“Amy Black.” I said to her as I looked over her thick braided hair and a plaid shirt. I couldn’t believe I was here and the only reason I wasn’t driving straight to his house because I had nothing to hold myself accountable to. No appointment to force me to do it. I was all pent up for the next morning in that regard. If I saw him that moment I would have failed miserably, likely without the ability to speak as well.
She wrote down my name and passed me a paper sign.
There was no computer.
“I need cash or credit card for the room.” She said to me.
“Sure. Credit card.” I signed the paper and took out my card.
She whipped it up, looking it over. “Gold.” She imprinted my card and gave it back to me. “Room twelve, just go left outside the door, you’ll come to it.”
I nodded and grabbed my purse from the counter. “How do you get to the restaurant?”
“Go right out the door.”
Our conversation was over and I left the office, going right and adjusting my scarf as I did.
There was no reason for anyone to recognize me and there was little reason for me to be talked to as well. I entered the pub and found a booth in the back to occupy.
Eventually, a waitress got to me, once she was done chatting up a group of men that looked like locals. She gave me a menu and I took in all the greasy options.
The salad was the only safe thing so I ordered it.
Glancing around as I impatiently awaited my food, I watched as they all knew each other and joked on a Friday night at the pub. I couldn’t believe I had come back, let alone bought a log cabin in this place!
I ate my salad in silence, keeping my eyes down and away from everyone else in the room. Once I was done, I dug for cash, needing to get out of there.
I passed a vending machine and bought a ginger ale on my way to my room, where I was no doubt, going to be up the entire night calling myself insane and attempting to down talk my panic.
As I sat on the old, creaking mattress in the room, I cracked the ginger ale. My white Chanel carry-on beside me as we sat in silence together—the only sound was a semi truck running across the dark parking lot outside.
I took a sip of the pop and then dropped it on the nightstand, sinking into the hard bed. Unsure if this was considered a low or high of my life, I supposed his face the next day would let me know.