Waiting beside me in the elevator, shuffled his restless limbs and cleared his throat. I could only guess, he was as petrified as me.
The doors of the elevator dinged and I was out quick, Ean on my heels.
I found my house keys in an instant outside my door, and it made me wonder what had made me so unable to find them before. I had fumbled around in front the building and it made me believe I’d been doing it unconsciously like I wasn’t allowed to push him away this time.
My hands shook as I tried to unlock the door. I needed some food as my blood sugar began to drop.
“Here.” He reached out and took the keys from me, unlocking the door with much steadier hands. Hands that I watched move with a gentleness, you wouldn’t expect from such thick fingers.
He followed me in, whistling, “Nice place.”
I brought one foot up and slipped off my heeled shoe. “Thanks.”
He crouched and undid his dress shoes, still staring at the pristine white walls, crown moldings, and cold stone floors. His eyes showed what I thought was a tinge of sadness, but perhaps my house did that to people—the loneliness it radiated could affect someone like him easily.
I turned to the hall closet, distracting myself with putting my coat away.
He waited again.
“So, this way.” I walked him down the hall. It seemed logical to stop in the kitchen, so I did.
He looked the cupboards over and tapped the granite. “Nice.” But his compliment was mechanical and distant.
My fingers jittered at my side and I wrapped my arms around myself to hide it from him.
“Did your Ex live here with you?” His asked with interest.
“No.” I shook my head, not even hesitating to answer his intrusive question. “We had our own places the entire time.”
“So, you like living alone?”
“I don’t think about it. I just do it.” I told him. “Do you?”
“Not really. I just tolerate it.”
His honesty made me uncomfortable and I took a staggered breath between thinking of what we should do next.
“Are you okay?” He watched me. His eyes had changed, focusing in on the sway I had developed.
“I’m just a bit shaky.”
“You need some food,” he said. “I knew I should have made you eat.”
“Ugh.” I shook my head. “I can do without the fancy food.”
“Do you want pizza?” The idea made him smile.
“I’ll order some in.” I whipped out my blackberry as he started to poke around, very nonchalantly too.
I didn’t want to smile, so I stopped watching. “Uh, what kind?”
“I’ll eat anything.” Answering me as he stared at my flatscreen, “Jez—” He wandered into my living room, obsessing over the massive television. My eyes traced down his muscled back to his belt where I became entranced by his ass—
“Hello, Dizzy’s Pizza Parlor!”
I whipped away from the view. “I just want to order a large pizza.”
“Sure, sure!”
“A Hawaiian.” I specified.
They got my address, said forty minutes and I dropped the phone to the granite as I walked to the living room.
He was still looking over the flatscreen. “It’s huge.”
“Yeah, sixty inches.”
He breathed, touching it.
“Oh—”
His hand snapped back from my outburst, I did smile that time.
“Want to hear the surround sound?” I picked up the remotes and turned it all on, not giving him a chance to answer me.
The satellite radio blared and he winced.
I went about turning it down with a blush. “Sorry.”
“That’s loud.”
“Steve talked me into it; Beth’s husband. He’s a great salesman.”
“What’s he do for work?” Ean asked.
“Sales across seas for his company.”
“Ah, okay.” He looked out of place, but he looked so good in my living room, especially in his city clothes. In fact, he almost fit in, aside his awkwardness.
We stayed silent, I expected him to sit but he didn’t.
“Feeling okay now?”
I nodded. “Now that I’m sitting, yeah.”
“Your blood sugar is low, you should eat something.” He became concerned fast.
I brushed him off. “No, I’ll wait.”
“Yeah, but you’re pregnant.” He huffed.
Our eyes met, both of us silent.
I leaned back into the couch. “You can sit, you know?”
He moved towards me and sat, about two feet away.
I watched him as he played with one of the cuff links on his sleeve.
“I’m sorry about downstairs.”
I took a moment to retain what he meant.
He glanced at me. “Was being a bit dumb and panicking.”
“Why?” I was pretty sure I knew why, though.
He smiled, looking across my front room. “I practiced this night over and over in my head, nothing of what happened tonight was suppose to.”
His words were funny and I giggled.
“What?” His voice plagued with a nervous laugh.
“It was pretty bad,” I admitted.
His mouth grimaced. “Bad is not strong enough. The only good thing about the whole evening was you.”
“Me?” I couldn’t believe he’d said that! After an awkward moment, he shot up.
“I’m going to go.” He pulled out his wallet, fishing out some money.
“What?” I blinked, feeling like a call-girl the way he tossed the green bills on the coffee table. “What’s the money for?”
“The pizza.”
“No, wait!” I stood, getting dizzy and tripping back.
“Oh!” Quick again, he caught me.
My eyes fluttered as he sat me on the couch.
His hands came to my cheeks, looking me over. “You’re eating. Now.” He walked into the kitchen, back to concerned and unafraid. I liked him better that way.
After a few cupboard slams, I knew he’d discovered my kitchen was empty.
“Amy!” He called. “Why is there no food!”
“I haven’t gone shopping—”
“There’s wine.” He stepped into the room with the bottle in hand, looking grumpy.
“I know,” I whined, wanting it.
“Amy.” He walked over. “Fruit, protein . . . something to feed you and the baby is crucial. You have nothing!”
“I usually have raisin bran.”
He put a hand to his scruffy brown hair as I envisioned my own fingers running through it.
I realized suddenly he was staring at me with a hard line of frustration.
“Stay there. I’ll be right back.” He stalked down the hall and out the front door before I could say another word.
I sunk back into the couch, hands shaking. I was convinced he was over reacting but my weak limbs were another story. Lying down, I got comfy, ignoring my upset stomach. My arm rested on my hip, my hand coming across my stomach and finding a tiny bump. I hadn’t noticed it before then and it made my heart slam in my chest like never before.
Five minutes later; he was back with a shopping bag in his hand and stopped in the kitchen.
I sat up, curious about what he’d brought for me. “Ean?”
He didn’t reply but walked in, plate in hand with sliced apples. “This will have to do.”
My mouth watered and I took his offering of fruit, “Mm.”
He sat down next to me, “Why do you have no food?”
“I eat out,” I said between bites of the juicy apple. “Where did you get this?”
A smile played his mouth as he watched me. “My truck, I like having something to eat, in case I get hungry. A practice, you should be exercising.”
“Mm.” I nodded, still chewing.
“Is that a ‘yes, Ean, I’m going to buy food from now on’?”
I swallowed what was in my mouth. “I can try, but I don’t really shop for food.”
He grunted and leaned back into the couch. “Amy.” His level of exhaustion was my fault but I understood his pain, I could be stubborn.
“Do you know what’s funny?”
“No, what?” Ean’s eyebrow perked toward me.
“That I’m pregnant.” I snorted, a laugh catching me.
“I hope you’re not just coming to this realization.” This voice edged with the same amusement as me, the atmosphere between us thining for the first time that evening. “It is a bit ironic.”
“Ironic, stupid, bad luck,” I rambled.
“Hey.” He creased his brow.
“You think it’s good luck?” I questioned with an arched eyebrow, there wasn’t any possible way he could say that to me.
He sighed. “I don’t know what it is.”
I paused, my eyes meeting his; mid-bite of an apple slice. His shoulders rose and fell with his hitched breaths.
“Anyway,” He continued, “You should have food in the house. I mean, you could have passed out. You can pass out, you know?”
“Note taken, paramedic.”
He smiled.
“What’s so funny?” I took a bite off the tip of a slice, chewing with an arched brow.
“I can’t take anything you say seriously. I keep getting apple juice on my face.” He laughed.
“Ew.” I put the plate on the coffee table, embarrassed. “Sorry.”
“It’s alright.” His shoulder brushed mine. “It’s was making it hard to—”
“To what?” I turned to him, my face very close to his.
“To focus.”
I blinked. “On what?”
“Alright.” He chuckled. “Forget I said anything.”
“Oh no!” I pointed a finger at his chest, catching his collar. My eyes were drawn to his neck and the exposed bit of his chest I noticed.
He looked my fingers with suspicion. “Something wrong with my shirt?”
“No.” I whipped my hand away as he took my chin. Everything in me froze and even if my mind was screaming to pull away, I didn’t.
“Can I kiss you now, Amy?”
I squeaked, nodding, my senses overloading with woodsy-pleasant and Bushman.
A small smile had broken him before his mouth descended upon my lips.
I clutched his shoulder, in a state of panic as his lips seared mine. My body responded like a siren, coming alive in places I had forgotten about since being snowed in with him.
His hand adjusted on the cheek with a tenderness that made my heart beat faster. If I didn’t stop us now, things would spiral out of control.
Breaking our mouths, I took in the tiniest breath. “Ean . . .”
His arms scooped around my waist, pulling me against his firm chest, throwing away my concerns of ‘control.’
Eagerly, I took his cheeks, my fingertips moving toward his soft brown hair, till I had handfuls.
His chest resonated with want, his mouth adjusting as he took me in for yet another kiss.
With a palpitating heartbeat, I let him caress and swoon me into whatever it was my body wanted. My knees knocked into him, my toes creeping the top of his large feet.
Our mouths parted but his lips stayed close to mine, his eyes studying me in our nearness.
My hands slipped from his hair to his thick shoulders, which heaved with his heavy breaths.
“That was worth your protests.” He murmured, his hands kneading my lower back, coaxing me to stay close.
His index fingers trailed my spine, about to kiss me again when the buzzer interrupted.
“Pizza guy,” I whispered against his lips.
“I’ll get it.” He collected the forty dollars he’d thrown down on the coffee table earlier
I watched him walk away, thinking about his impressive kissing skills. My fingertips tracing my lips as the buzzer went off again.
“Eh . . . Amy!” He called, fiddling with it.
I stood, smiling and found him as he just about hit the wrong button.
“No, no.” I reached out and took over. “Hello?”
“Dizzy’s Pizza, delivery!”
“Yep.” I buzzed him in as Ean looked on.
“Embarrassing.” He itched his neck. “I can figure out the radios at work but not your buzzer.”
“It’s high-tech.” I smiled, “And you’re not.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “Hey, I figured out the email.”
“I’m not going to give you that,” I chirped, “that’s easy.”
He creased his brow as I walked to the door.
“I was joking,” I called to him, hearing him sigh and walk up behind me.
His hands found my waist, causing a sudden thud in my chest.
I focused on the spy hole in front of me to keep myself from turning and making out with him as his fingers played with the fabric of my dress, prolonging my agony.
I spun around to him. “Don’t do that.”
“What?” He played dumb and the longer he did, the more my body craved him.
I grabbed his collar suddenly, pulling him to me and he did the rest.
Pressing me against the door, his hands wrung around my waist, his groaning satisfying and seducing.
My honest feelings for him frightened me as I parted my lips and let his tongue venture against mine. His hands on my thighs traced and explored, keeping the fire going with little effort.
A sharp knock on the door from behind broke us apart and he stepped back, swallowing hard. He knew as much as I did what was happening again.
“Pizza.” His cheeks flushed as he tried to ignore it.
“Y-yeah.” I turned to the door, unlocked the deadbolt.
“Evening. Thirty-two dollars.” The man passed me the pizza and Ean handed him the money.
“Keep the change.”
Taking the extra wad of cash, he smiled at Ean. “Thanks, man.”
I had the box open before it hit the counter, a cheesy, hot slice situated in my hand.
Multi-tasking, I took an enormous bite while getting out two plates.
“Hungry?” He chuckled from across the kitchen.
I chewed. “Shut up.”
Suddenly beside me, he took a plate and dished up three slices for himself. “What do people do when they have pizza at home?”
“Watch movies.” I rolled my eyes with an obviousness.
“Oh, right.” He was playing dumb again, I saw it, this time, plain as day as he said, “Want to do that?”
“If you insist.”
“I insist.” He nodded in the direction of the living room.
I grabbed two more slices and made my way to the couch.
Ean sat beside me as I flipped on the television.
“What do you like for movies?” I asked.
“Whatever you want.”
“You do realize how agreeable you are, right?” I hit the new releases in the menu.
“That’s a bad thing?”
“No.” I shook my head, “It’s like me being pregnant. It’s just a thing.”
“Hmm.” Taking a bite of his pizza, he sat back into the couch and let me chose the movie I desired and consequently, the movie I dozed off during.
My cheek on his chest and his arm draped over my shoulders is how I woke.
The quietness and his light snore almost lulled me back to sleep. I yawned, mushing my nose into his good smelling shirt. I didn’t know what time it was, or how long it’d been since the movie ended but I guessed awhile and that’s when I came to my senses.
I snapped away from him, rubbing my tired eyes.
He stirred, waking and yawning with me.
“Ean?”
“Oh.” He perked up, rubbing his neck as his eyes found mine.
“We fell asleep.”
“Yeah, apparently.” He glanced at the watch on his wrist. “It’s two in the morning.”
I let out a breath, slumping back against the couch next to him. The night hadn’t gone as I’d expected and out of the two possible outcomes, neither of them had happened. We had ended up falling asleep on the couch like an old married couple. I winced from my thoughts.
“I’m suppose to work at six.”
“You can’t drive home, it’s way too late.” I shook my head, not really thinking about my words as I spoke them and what they may imply.
“Jeez, if I didn’t know better, maybe you do care about me.” His voice had an edge to it I hadn’t been expecting and it made me feel bad.
“Of course, I care about you,” I admitted.
Our eyes fused together as long, silent moments passed between us. I could see him preparing and calculating something in his brain and then he said it, like the man he was. Honest and blunt.
“I still love you.”
My breath stuck in my throat as I processed his sudden words.
“Not to make this awkward.” He groaned, looking away. “I take that back.”
“You do?” I blinked.
“Only if you want me to.”
“Ean.” I snapped, hitting his chest with the back of my hand.
He looked to where I’d smacked and saw something neither of us had yet. “Did you drool on me?”
My cheeks reddened, seeing the wet patch on his shirt. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”
He let out a laugh. “No, it’s fine. It’s sort of cute.”
I wrinkled my nose. “My drool is cute?”
“It’s just cute because you did it. Drool isn’t really that cute in itself.” He explained our eyes locking and the tiniest smile broke me.
“I’ve been waiting for that smile.” In a sudden movement, he took my cheeks, kissing me.
I slipped my arms around his neck as his hands swept down my back, allowing him to grab me and move me against him the way he wanted. I had let all expectations of the night go, caving to the way he made me feel.
I gripped his starched collar, “Bed?”
His expression flatlined with a massive groan and he crushed his mouth back on mine, lifting me from the couch.
I yelped as he repositioned me. “Don’t drop me!”
He smirked, loosening his arms to tease me.
I grabbed him around his neck and held on. “Don’t.”
“I won’t,” he whispered in my ear and walked forward, coming to a door and reaching for the knob.
“That’s the bathroom.”
He grunted. “Shit.”
I giggled as he came to the next door.
“This better be it,” He said through his impatience.
“It is.”
He swung it open and carried me to my bed.
My memories of Christmas flashed back as he lied me down, his nimble fingers finding the delicate zipper along my back and he unzipped me.
I clasped his cheeks, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth. Distracting myself and enjoying him even against my better judgment.
Lying me down, he peeled the dress down my shoulders and over my hips, leaving me in my red lace underwear.
His eyes lusted for me as he stripped his shirt from his broad shoulders.
My eyes gazed down his lightly haired chest to where he was undoing his pants. The scorching in my core ignited into flames and my eyes returned to his.
“Are you enjoying the view?” He chuckled.
I nodded with a racing pulse. “Take off your boxers.”
He stripped them on command and his erect cock sprung into plain sight, making me tighten in all sorts of places.
I really liked him and I wanted to tell him that but, he was very distracting. My eyes scoped his form again as he grabbed one of my ankles and dropped down on top of me.
I shivered as his palm ran up the inside of my thigh, our eyes locking together as he watched me with a small smirk.
He rolled his hips against me, sending the tip of his erection against my underwear.
My eyes fluttered shut with the memory of what he felt like inside me and I wanted another reminder. The burning inside coaxed me to grab him and put his hungry mouth to my flushing skin. His teeth caught my bra strap as I arched into him. He let it slip his mouth suddenly and slap my shoulder.
I squirmed in protest. “Ean.”
He groaned in reply and I hugged his face to my breasts. He bit and nipped me through my bra as his fingers searched my back.
“Am I missing something about this bra?”
I giggled. “There’s a latch in the front.”
He brought his hand to the middle of my chest. “Was this made to just confuse men?”
I smiled at him. “Probably.”
“Hmm.” He released my chest and I swallowed, hoping he’d like what he saw.
“Those are—”
I squirmed under him. “Bigger?”
“I was going to say ‘lovely.’”
My cheeks heated as he took my nipple and teased, causing me to moan and buck under him.
His hands dropped and took my underwear off my hips, in a matter of seconds, his thick erection was tipping my wet heat.
I gripped his chest as he settled atop me.
“No hating me in the morning,” he told me in a gruff voice.
“I can’t see my hormones hating you.”
He lifted an eyebrow, holding himself back. “Who likes me more, you or them?”
“Me.” I breathed, grabbing his thigh and urging him on.
He crushed his mouth against mine and in one thrust, filled me.
My fingers dug into him as I accepted his thick cock, letting it spread me.
“Amy, good God—”
“Ean, I still . . .”
He paused. “What?”
My fingertips traced his bottom lip as I thought over my words. He made everything so easy for me to say it was insane. “I like you.”
He smiled. “I’m going to take that for now.”
“Really like you?” I tried to appease him.
He chuckled, brushing his nose against mine as he murmured, “You’re swollen everywhere from our baby. Tell me if anything gets uncomfortable.”
My hands on his shoulder tightened and I nodded. “So far, so good.” He had a great knack for making feel and think differently, and with every thrust, I enjoyed the sensation more and more.