I hung up the phone, swallowing in disbelief to what I’d just done.
I was pregnant and I had no idea what I was doing. Never mind the fact that I was unfit to even be a mother, but all I saw was his face; the only man I’ve ever had true feelings for.
“Amy, are you okay?” Beth exited the deli, looking for me as I swung towards her.
I blurted out my confession before she could say a word. “I cancelled it.”
She blinked. “What?”
I nodded as my breath got stuck in my throat. “Yes, I actually cancelled it. I cancelled the clinic.”
“Oh my god!” She covered her mouth. “Amy—”
I wanted to scream from my frustration. “Shit, what am I doing! I’m calling them back!”
“No!” Beth grabbed the phone. “You need to talk to Ean. You need to call him.”
I couldn’t believe she had just said that. “No, Beth!”
“Yes, Amy! Look how messed up you’ve been since Christmas!”
I fell silent, not wanting to admit the truth aloud.
“You need to, at least, go see him. You don’t even need to say you’re pregnant—but I would.”
My eyes fell to my blackberry she had clutched in her hands as I tried to process.
“I . . . I don’t even know his number . . . I don’t even think he has a phone.”
Elizabeth winced, “Do you want to drive there?”
“Beth, that’s crazy!”
“We can. On the weekend.”
“No!” I blurted out, my heart racing. I could see his face, he’d hate me, “He won’t want anything to do with me!”
She sighed, grabbing my shoulder. “Hun, that’s not true.”
“Yes, it is!” I retorted. “Beth, I was totally awful to him. Seriously.” That was the truth, I’d been a cold hearted loser and what was worse, I’d told him never. I told him, I’d never want to be with him or live a life with him, which was true. I was scared shitless of being with him, but maybe we could work out something for the baby.
Elizabeth gave me back my cell back. “Amy, if you have his baby, he deserves to at least know—in my opinion.”
“I just need to think about it.” I slipped my phone in my pocket, did this mean I was choosing to have a baby? Choosing to stay pregnant?
I tried to hold back the building bile in my turning stomach.
Elizabeth rubbed my back. “Let’s go eat, Amy. You look a bit pale.”
That was only because I hadn’t eaten anything at all that day. I nodded and became wrapped in my thoughts the rest of lunch.
I was very confused but there were a few things I was sure on.
One; I was pregnant with Ean Hunter’s baby.
Two; I would indefinably be sinking my career because of it.
Three; I didn’t care about any of it anymore. Why? Because Elizabeth was making sense for once.
I picked up the phone and dialed the number on my computer screen once I was back at in my office.
“Hello, Martha speaking.”
I swallowed. “Hi there.”
“Hello.” The woman repeated after a moment of me not saying anything.
“Umm.” I swallowed and got my vice-president backbone in. “This may be a bit odd, but I’m looking for Ean Hunter.”
“Oh!” She perked up on the line.
“I’m a friend,” I explained. “I was just wondering if you knew how I could get ahold of him?”
“Uh, well, you might have some trouble there.” She answered, “He’s working right now at camp. I think it’s a three-week schedule, but I couldn’t tell you much, just what I’ve heard from Jason. He didn’t say much this last time he left, seemed like he just wanted to get away for a bit.”
I paused from her openness and then decided to ignore it. “So, he’s got no cell phone or anything?”
She laughed. “Are we talking about the same Ean Hunter?”
I sighed, I had been expecting this. “There’s no way to get ahold of him I’m guessing.”
“I can give you the number for the station, Jason might be able to help you out more.”
I perked up at a sign of phone number. “Oh okay, where he works?”
“Just when he’s home, that is. The ambulance station in town. Here—” She allowed me a moment to grab a pen and I did, writing down the number on my notepad.
“Thank you.” I said to her, “I appreciate it.”
“No worries, hope you get ahold of him.” She wished me well and then the line went dead.
I dropped my index finger to the receiver then took it off, dialling the number I’d been given.
“Station three twenty-one.” A man answered right away.
“Hi.” I really didn’t know what to say, so I started off the same as when I’d called the corner store. “I’m looking for Ean Hunter, I was told to call here.”
“Ean’s up north on the patch, right now.” He gave me a similar answer to Martha.
“Yes, I heard. I’m just wondering if you know a number perhaps. I was told maybe a guy named Jason would be able to help me?”
He laughed. “Yeah, I’m Jason. No, you can’t get him up there. Only satellite phones and I don’t have a number, sorry.”
“Oh ok, thank you.” I grumbled.
“But hey, I can always pass on a message. He should be home soon, I mean, he’s already been out three weeks.”
Some hopefulness came back to me. “Do you know when he’s suppose to be back?”
“Well, maybe this week, maybe next week. Then again, Ean will take on more jobs if they come in. He’s like that, especially lately. Lots of work right now, big money up there. Wish I could work up there but my wife won’t let me go, new baby and all. What did you say your name was?”
“Uh . . .” I tried to take in his rambling. “I didn’t, but I’m Amy.”
He paused rather awkwardly. “Amy, hey?” My heart skipped from his voice change. “Well, I’ll tell him you called, Amy.”
“No!” I burst, slamming my palm to my forehead. “No, it’s . . . okay.”
“Really?” He asked, “Cause’ . . .”
“No, please.” I breathed, choking up, “It’s fine. I’m sorry I bothered you. Bye.” I slammed the phone to the dock and slumped over my desk. I dropped my palm to my stomach and rubbed as a slight cramp grew and I realized what I was doing.
I stopped and looked down to my abdomen, I knew now I was going to have to figure it out. I was going to have to do something. Now, that this Jason guy knew I’d called for him. I was stupid to think he didn’t know who I was. The way Ean Hunter poured out his heart, Jason likely new how many times we’d had sex and how big of a bitch I was. I was screwed, Ean would find out I was looking for him. I had literally just shot myself in the foot.
There was no way out.
I wanted to get to Ean before anyone else did. I cringed at the thought of the whole town telling him Amy Black had called, stalking him.
I grabbed my belongings and stopped to look over my perfect job and life one last time before I ruined it all.
My hand reached out and snatched up a note pad and pen as I walked out of the office.
I headed over to my secretary. “Amy.”
“Chantel, I’m leaving early.”
“Oh.” Her eyes caught a light of interest. “But you have a three o’clock with Ron.”
“Reschedule,” I snapped, “And if Doug asks, tell him I had an emergency come up.”
“Okay, have a nice day!” She called as I walked away but in all honesty, I wanted to run.