I walked across the street once the ambulance disappeared down the road. The entire thing had happened so fast, it felt like a train-wreck and then he was just, gone.
Rick waited outside the reality office for me as I returned to my vehicle. I felt like I had wasted his time, and since I hated when people wasted my time, I felt sick.
“Do you know Ean?” Rick asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
Rick’s confusion was apparent. “He’ll be back soon. We can finish up then.”
“Honestly,” I said, “There’s likely not much to finish up. I’m—”
“You have a deposit down.”
“You’re really going to have to talk to Ean about it, I’m not sure if he’ll be wanting to sell to me.”
“He’s in a contract.” Rick reminded.
Not really wanting to argue that I could easily get us both out that contract, I shrugged.
“Well, are we waiting for him?”
“I can do the rest over the phone and email.” I assured him and unlocked my car.
“Alright, I’ll give you call later—”
I didn’t let him talk further, I needed somewhere to sit in silence, luckily that would come inside my car as I drove to Ean’s house.
~~~
Pulling down the drive, I noticed how much the snow had melted in the few weeks since I’d been there. The promise of spring coming forth, much to my surprise. I figured there was snow up there all year round.
I pulled up in front of his house, wishing I could stop my heart like the engine in my car.
I leaned back in the leather and looked over the beautiful log home. I knew nothing about log homes but now, I was really starting to see the needed craftsmanship and talent to build them.
The chill of outside began to seep into the vehicle and snapped me out of my daze. Stepping out into the brisk breeze, I followed the scent of wood burning to the front door.
My hand reached to the brass door fixtures with heart palpitations and I opened it. Then there I was, again, in Ean Hunter’s home.
I closed the door, wanting to lock myself within as soon as possible and bent down to take off my heeled leather boots. I contemplated discarding my jacket, I didn’t want to make myself at home—even though it was sort of my home. I shook my head of those thoughts and walked towards the fireplace, wanting warmth.
The embers burned and cracked and I found myself sitting on the couch, watching it burn. Memories of Christmas entered my mind, more specifically Ean on top of me. I swallowed, wondering where it happened, what time . . . I really was losing it! Wanting to know the point of my impregnation was ridiculous!
I got stir crazy as close to half an hour passed and I stood, adjusting my slightly too big pants and then I began to snoop. Not like I could help myself at that point, his house was easily snoop-able. He didn’t hide anything. I found myself with the need to relieve my bladder and I was back in his clean, well-designed washroom.
I walked out back into the hall, wiping my damp hands on my thighs as my eyes caught the room across from me.
I remembered the piles of things, the memories he’d banished to the room. Curiosity peaked with what he’d done with it for the showings and so I opened the door. Again, hoping it would reveal something better this time.
I looked inside the dark room and flipped on the lights. It was now host to a cleanly designed guest room with a four poster wood bed. It was much different. In fact, he’d taken all the infant child out of it.
Hearing the front door, I panicked, slapping the light off and slamming the door.
“Amy?”
I swore under my breath. Trying not to let the blushing get the better of me as I tucked my red hair behind my ears and advanced down the hall.
I stepped out into the living room and he met me there.
“Hey.”
“I was just—” I pointed down the hall awkwardly. “Bathroom.”
“No worries.” He nodded, we stood in silence but he broke it quickly. “Want to sit down?”
I sat down slowly on the edge of the sofa and hugged my arms around myself.
He stuck his black work boot in the fire and kicked the dying embers.
“Aren’t you suppose to be working?” I finally asked.
He glanced at me and then back to the fire. “I booked off after that call.”
I wrinkled my nose, because of me he’d booked off!
He threw more wood on and walked over to the single couch across from me, unbuttoning his uniform and the laces on his boots.
“Well . . .” He sat down, slipping his feet free of the shoes.
My eyes darted to him. “I’m sorry, Ean.”
He itched his head and finally spoke, “For?”
“Uh—” I choked on my words, “this whole thing?” That was a good thing to be sorry for, I figured. Not only had I disturbed his work day but also his house selling and oh yeah, the rest of his life.
“So, your birth control failed?”
I gulped. “Y-yeah. Kinda.”
“Okay.” He creased his brow, but he was amused and I was bit pissed because of it. He waited for me but I didn’t want to start the conversation, so naturally he did, “What’s ‘kinda’ mean?”
“It means, I forgot to go in for the shot so I wasn’t actually on any birth control,” I murmured.
He stared at me with an understanding that astounded me. “I see.”
I swallowed. “I really thought I had, I would never do this to someone. I would never want to trap someone or—.”
“It’s fine, Amy. I don’t think anything like that,” he said
“You don’t?” I breathed.
He sighed. “No, of course not. I’m a bit confused about why you wanted to buy my house but—”
“You don’t actually want to sell it, do you?” I cut him off.
His brow was arched. “Well, I sort of did.”
“You want to move? Where?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Near my sister. She’s been trying to get me to move for awhile.”
“I’ll still buy it.” Guilt now getting the better of me, at the very least I could resell it but likely never make the money.
“It’s alright.” He said, “I guess you might be a bit right, I’m not too set on it yet. I just put it up for sale to see what might happen and turns out, quite a bit happened.”
We stared at each other a moment, a long moment too. Where I felt my heart starting to speed and my trembling nerves getting the better of me.
He took a breath. “So, you’re three months along?”
“Thirteen weeks.”
“Hmm.” He nodded, then fell quiet.
I waited for him to speak more but nothing came. “Uh—so, you know, I just wanted to tell you. You—” I choked on my words. “You don’t have to be apart of any of this. I mean, I don’t expect it. Beth told me, I should tell you, so I have.” And I had gone for the scape goat of using Beth! I wanted to bang my head against a wall.
I tried to recover from my stupidity. “Because like seriously, we’re so different . . . I mean, you probably want nothing to do with me!”
He blinked. “You think that?”
I stood up suddenly. “Yeah, because, it might be awkward for you like twenty years from now when some kid shows up saying your his dad. That’s all this is. I don’t expect anything from you. Don’t think that.” I looked around for my purse and grabbed it off the couch, “So, I’ll leave you alone. I tried to have an abortion but I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry, again.” I walked to the door.
“Amy, wait.” He called after me and stood.
I waved a hand and grabbed my boots.
Ean walked over. “You don’t have to leave.”
I zipped up my one boot and then struggled with the next.
“Amy, stop.”
His words startled me and I snapped my head up to him, losing my balance and falling on my ass to the ground.
“Are you okay?”
I grumbled as he helped me to my feet, “Yeah.”
Ean steadied me. “Do you always fall so much because you seem to?”
“No.” I pulled out of his touch. “It’s just around you.”
He smiled. “What?”
I rubbed my temple. “That’s not what I meant, I’m clumsy.”
He crouched down and grabbed my boot on my foot, taking it off of me.
“Ean.”
“We should talk about this more.” He threw my boots to the mat and took my arm. “Do you want something to drink?”
No! I want to get in my car and run away! I was paralyzed, though, unable to think for myself anymore. He sat me on the couch again and waited for an answer. “S-sure.”
“Alright.” He walked to his kitchen. “You know—” He started, “I really thought I was losing my mind earlier.”
“How could you not?”
He chuckled softly. “You sure can make an entrance. Seemed like a dream, I was waiting to wake up.”
I wallowed in my self-pity and changed the subject. “Did you, at least, save someone?”
“No, it was an MVA, no injuries. Cleared on scene.”
“Oh.” I wrinkled my nose, not knowing what he was talking about.
“So,” He walked back over and sat down across from me as the kettle boiled. “Why did it take you this long to tell me?”
“Well, you’re impossible to get ahold of, never mind find psychically.”
“I guess that’s true. So, are you even a bit excited?”
“No!” I burst.
His expression saddened.
“It’s not like I have a choice. If I did, I wouldn’t have let this happen.” That was the most stupid answer ever!
He thought it through. “Hmm . . .”
“I had this need to tell you.” I admitted, “I thought it was fair.”
He picked at the arm on the couch. “It’s fair.”
I didn’t quite understand his tone but I supposed I had been rather off-putting.
He looked up as the kettle finished and walked back over to make some tea. I sat in silence as he did. He came back, putting a mug on a coaster in front of me.
“It has no caffeine.” He sat back in his chair, away from me, not that it bugged me. I felt we both needed the space.
I looked it over. “I could sure use the caffeine.”
“You’ll get used to it.”
“Get used to what?” I mumbled.
“You shouldn’t be drinking caffeine.” He explained, “you didn’t know this?”
I stared at him, not needing to answer that.
“You shouldn’t drink it anymore.”
I felt like crying. “I just thought I wasn’t allowed wine.”
“Don’t you have a doctor?”
“I haven’t seen anyone since the beginning of my pregnancy.”
“You should get a doctor, Amy and soon too.”
“Okay.” I nodded, really feeling my stupidity.
He stayed quiet another minute, sipping tea. “So, I’m really not the type of guy to walk away.”
I figured he wasn’t, in fact, I knew it. Dead set in cement, knew it.
“I’ll help,” he explained, “I would like to anyways.”
“Sure, I guess, if it’s what you want.”
“Yeah, it is.”
I nodded and picked up my tea, drinking. Now, I didn’t know what to say. He was agreeable and easy to deal with, I didn’t understand why, he should have hated me!
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t around,” he said.
I stared at him, not knowing what to say to that.
“I’ve just been working. Keeps my mind off of things and I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, Amy.”
I didn’t want to do this and I could feel the way it was going, “Yeah, well, you got me pregnant.”
He sighed and looked away from me with some frustration.
I finally cracked once the emotion was built between us. “Do you have an email or something?”
“I just got a computer, so I could ironically enough, talk to Rick when I’m up north.”
“Oh.” I nodded, “That’s good, taking yourself into a technology world. We can correspond like that then. I have a lot of projects coming up—”
“Can I have your phone number?”
I stared at him and blinked. “Uh.” If he had that, he could call me at any moment and any time of the day.
He smirked from my silence. “Ouch, Amy.”
I grabbed my purse. “Here.” I pulled out a business card and put it on the coffee table.
Ean watched me and stayed quiet.
“Email is better, though,” I told him.
“Okay.”
“My email is on there.”
“I’d like to come to the doctor appointments.”
My eyes snapped to him. “Really? Why?”
“It’s my baby too, Amy. Unless you’re considering me a sperm donor here?”
Why couldn’t he just want to be a sperm donor! I swallowed. “It’s okay. Sure.”
“Thanks.” He nodded. “So, you’ll tell me when they are?”
“I’ll try to.”
He sighed again and moved on. “How are you doing at work?’
“Fine.” I brushed off his question. “Not affected at all.” I was trying so hard to be strong, so hard. I didn’t want him to see me as weak, I didn’t want him all over me either because of it.
“That’s good. Some women have a hard time in the first trimester.”
“No, I’m totally fine.”
“Well, if you ever need me.” He paused. “I’m here.”
A knock at his door relieved both him and me from anything further on the topic.
“One second.” Ean stood.
However, as he walked away, I began to plan my escape.
He opened the door and I stood, turning to see a blonde in the door frame. She wasn’t refined, she had on a work jacket but she was still decently pretty—in a small-town sort of way.
“Oh.” She looked to me once her golden eyes peeled off Ean.
“Annie.” Ean acknowledged her and then stepped outside, closing the door so I was now completely removed from the female intrusion.
I rolled my eyes and moved to the door, dressing in my boots and jacket. He should have just invited her in, then she could have met his baby-mama!
I waited but as I did, my curiosity and annoyance peaked together and I looked outside the tiny window to the front step.
He was talking to her rather closely and I became annoyed. There was no reason to hide things, I wasn’t his girlfriend.
I ripped open the door and they both stopped talking.
Ean turned to me. “Hey, one more minute—”
“I need to go. Long drive.” I chirped and walked towards my beamer, my ears getting hot as the little blonde watched him chase after me.
“Amy!”
I got to my car and swung the door open. “It’s cool.”
“Amy.” He tried again. “Stay.”
“I need to go home.” I snapped at him.
He swallowed. “She’s not my girlfriend . . .”
I laughed. “I don’t care if that little hick is your girlfriend, Ean, give me a break!”
“Just let me explain—” Ean tried again.
I grabbed the door to close it. “I’m good.” I pulled but he didn’t let it close.
“Don’t go, Amy.” He persisted.
“What do you expect from me! I drove all the way out here to tell you this, I did it. It’s done. You know the deal.”
His shoulders squared from my tone with him. “Shit, Amy, don’t do this.”
“What did you think we were going to do? What else is there to even talk about?” My words were bad and it was obvious he didn’t like them.
“Get a doctor and no more caffeine.” He slammed the door and I stared at my hands on the steering wheel as he stalked away.
The blonde walked inside his house and that pissed me off to no end. I started the vehicle and booked it off the property, banning myself from thinking of him on the drive home.