I wasn’t used to sharing my space, I wasn’t used to messes and I was not used to Beth having emotional breakdowns.
For the most part, Elizabeth Saltz was a put together person. Bubbly and charming, not anything like the mess Steve had made her into. The part that irked me, she was allowing this man to let her feel like shit.
It was Friday, but I didn’t have the bounce in my step I had been anticipating. I hadn’t left my office early like I’d promised Ean and I hadn’t packed anything for my weekend away with him either.
I glanced up from my cell as I read an email from a client and saw his truck across the street from my building. “Argh.” I growled and bustled towards the front door of my apartment, I wasn’t ready to see him, I need to decompress.
“Amy!”
I spun around to face him holding a street hotdog in a napkin and wearing his big, charming smile.
I rolled my eyes. “You’re early.”
He paused. “You’re tense today.”
I boiled over, putting my cell back in my pocket. “You said seven.”
“I don’t remember this conversation,” he mumbled between a bite of the hotdog.
I shuddered as he stepped up to me but ignored him, searching for my keys in my purse.
“I missed you.”
My grim expression shifted as he took my chin and kissed me.
“I’m not packed,” I said when he pulled back.
“I’m a patient man.”
That was more than true and I turned to the front doors to unlock them, Ean right behind.
“Are you enjoying that hotdog?” I asked him once in the elevator, watching him as he savored it bite after bite.
“Yep.” He glanced at me. “Want some?”
“No. Ugh.” I swatted my hand.
He finished the hotdog as the elevator doors opened. “How’s Beth?”
I shrugged as we walked down the hall. “It’s an on and off thing with her. Sometimes she’s crying and emotional, other times she’s more like herself with a tinge of anger.”
“It’ll be hard for her. For awhile.”
“Well, it’s not like I don’t know what it’s like. Richard left me for his assistant.”
“He did break up with you, though, you had some closure,” He argued.
I huffed, not impressed by the argument. “It’s the same thing.”
“No, it’s not.”
Wrinkling my nose, I tried to think of how he had an opinion on this topic. “Well, I’d say I have more experience in the department of cheating spouses than you do, Ean.”
“I suppose.”
“Yeah, I mean, if she had been cheating on you and died. Then you’d totally get a one up, but no. She was all faithful . . .” I rambled, stopping in front of my door. I noticed Ean was feet behind me and I turned to look over my shoulder, “What?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Nothing.”
I rolled my eyes, I didn’t want to deal with him being emotional either. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Well, I apparently offended you.”
We stared at each other a moment while he said nothing, but his expression told me enough.
“Going to go inside?” He asked, breaking the tension.
I turned, grumbling to myself. “Seriously, I’m sorry.”
“So many apologies. The pregnancy is going to your head, isn’t it?” Ean chuckled, letting go of my rude comments as he wrapped his arms around my waist. He nibbled at my exposed neck while he undid the buttons on my coat so he could slip his hand against my belly. “I missed this too.”
I got antsy from his words and contact. “I’ll go pack.”
He nodded as I closed the door and with weary steps, made my way to the kitchen.
“Beth?” I called, dropping my purse to the counters.
She mumbled from the couch, I could smell the faint stench I had that morning.
“Ew, Beth. I told you to take a shower!” I marched into the living room, she was a mess.
She sat up, rubbing her face. “I was napping.”
“Beth.” I scolded her. “You stink.”
She sniffed her armpit. “Meh.”
“Look, I’m going soon so—”
“Where!” She exclaimed, wide-eyed.
“To Ean’s?” I reminded her for the tenth time.
“Oh, he’s here!”
His presence behind me made her smile.
“He came to get me. So, are you going to be okay?”
She started tucking her hair around her ears and rubbing her face, trying to make herself look presentable, but it wasn’t going to happen for her that day. “Oh, yeah, I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, eyebrow arched.
Ean came to my side, his hand on my lower back. “Hey, Beth.”
“Ean.” She smiled. “Y-you came to get Amy?”
“She shouldn’t drive that far alone,” he said.
Elizabeth gushed. “Awe . . . that’s . . . that’s so—” Her eyes watered. “I need to go to the washroom!” She got up and jogged from the room.
“Apparently it’s an emotional day today.” Turning, I trudged to my room and he followed.
“She can come with us if she wants.”
I stopped him there. “Ha, funny. No.”
He shrugged. “If she’s really unstable.”
I shook my head, I had for all intensive purposes been looking forward to escaping Beth this weekend. “No.”
He smiled. “I get it, you want me all to yourself.”
“If you want to flatter yourself like that, then whatever.” I grabbed his wrist and pulled inside my room to shut the door.
My bag waited by my dresser and I bent down, one-time it so I could begin to pack, causing my stomach some uncomfortable pressure.
“So,” he started, sitting on my bed while I went about getting my clothes together. “How you liking the baby bump?”
I stood and turned to him, wrinkling my nose, “It’s not that noticeable, is it?”
“Your stomach?” he questioned with a goofy look.
I put my hands to it and felt.
He laughed at me and once I didn’t join his amusement, he stopped. “It’s getting there, sweetie.”
I rolled my eyes and zipped my bag, huffing. “So, I’m fat?” I walked to the bathroom to collect my toothbrush and other necessary items to spend the weekend away.
“You’re perfect,” He called to me.
I rolled my eyes, walking back out with the bag that he swooped in to grab from me.
“Ready to go?” He asked.
“Yes, please.”
We walked out together as Beth shuffled through a cupboard for a bag of chips.
“We’re going to head out.”
She nodded, shoving chips in her mouth. “Okay, have fun.”
I walked over to her, whispering, “Just call me if you need anything.”
She swallowed another mouthful. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“Don’t keep eating those, either.” I pointed to her as Ean took my arm.
“Let her eat the chips, Amy. Have a good weekend, Beth.”
Beth beamed at him. “Thanks, Ean, you too.”
I rolled my eyes and let him drag me down the hall to the front door. “Maybe she should come live with you. She was sure bubbly, once she figured out you were around.”
He hit the call button for the elevator. “I’ll let you keep her. I don’t need anymore emotionally unstable friends.”
“You have friends?” I retorted.
“More than you,” he joked.
I grunted as the doors opening for us and I hurried in. “Excuse me?”
He laughed. “I have a few. Like Jason, all that guy does is complain. He’s as bad as a woman—”
“Ean.” I stared at him.
“I mean, normal women.”
I gave him a good glare. “Now, I’m fat and not normal?”
“How did this escalate?”
I rolled my eyes and tried not to smile.
“You’re not fat, and you’re pretty normal—for the record.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek, this time, the butterflies got to me. I looped my arm around his and pressed my face against his shoulder.
“Thanks for coming.” I breathed.
His lips met my forehead next. “Of course.”
Work was weighing on me and a nap on the five-hour drive, I looked forward to. We were in his truck and before I knew it, I was tucked up on the middle seat, my head on his shoulder, asleep.
~~~
My heart thumped away as my forehead beaded with sweat when I woke from the vivid dream of him making love to me. On the dark highway still, my eyes flashed open, his hand holding mine as the radio played softly in the background to the engine.
I tried to push my thoughts from the fantasy of the dream. Studying his hand, his fingers calloused in places and soft in others, it made me long for his touch.
With a jolted pulse, I took my cheek from his warm shoulder.
He glanced at me. “Finally, you wake.”
I mumbled, “Sorry.”
“It’s fine, but I win the ‘driving’ argument.”
Rolling my eyes, I didn’t comment.
He smiled and his hand rubbed my thigh.
“Are we almost there?” I squinted out the windshield, trying to figure out where we were.
“Just under an hour.”
I nodded.
“Do you feel okay? Do you need something to eat?” He offered.
I shook my head. “I’m good.”
“Okay.” His hand still rubbed and gripped me, making it harder to focus away from the dream in hopes of it becoming a reality.
I moaned, as his fingers dug into my thigh, tightening on my bare skin.
I imagined him peeling back my skirt and his fingers relieving me. The need was incessant and I wanted it.
I adjusted in my seat and with one hand, I inched my skirt up. His fingertips responded and I waited to see if he’d make any sort of new touch.
After a few silent minutes, my neediness grew. I’d never experienced such a driving pull towards wanting to be touched.
I took his hand on my thigh and slipped it under my skirt.
“Amy, sweetie.” His husky voice lusted, surprising me.
I pressed my cheek to his shoulder, hiding my embarrassment. “You know, you’re not supposed to call me that.”
“Well,” he grunted, “Are you supposed to stick my hand up your skirt?”
My face became hot and I chose not to answer him, fully aware he’d been calling me the nickname for far too long.
“Hmm?”
Still, I ignored him.
His fingers found my underwear and pressed into me.
I let out a tiny gasp, “No.” I answered him, “But I did.”
He smiled, adjusting himself so he could pull aside my panties and sink his fingers into my throbbing wet folds.
I buried my nose in his bicep and ran a hand through the hair on his forearm, clenching my knees as he began to rub me.
“You have to open your legs if you want me to do this.”
I spread my thighs as fast as I could, hearing his quiet laugh from my movements.
“You’re eager,” He commented, rubbing me, making my heart race more and more with each passing second.
My hand crept his arm to his chest and rubbed his solid frame. “I had a dream about you.”
“Really? What was I doing?”
“We were in bed.” I groaned, feeling myself about to release.
He chuckled, “Doing what?”
“What . . .” I gasped, “do you think?” My core broke and I clung to him. Two of his thick fingers sinking into me as my walls tightened and I released into a perfect orgasm. Groaning, gasping and digging my manicured nails into him, I moaned his name.
“That’s convenient.” He pulled the truck off the road as his fingers slipped from inside me. I looked around the darkness outside to the secluded treed rest-stop.
He shut the engine off and I went along with it like a teenager about to lose her virginity.
Ean snapped both our seat belts undone and pulled me into his lap. His fingers finding the zipper on my hip and tugging it down, pushing the fabric up my waist and sinking his thickness into me without hesitation.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as he groaned his way through our first contact in a week.
Nibbling at my neck, his firm hold moved me up and down, burying himself deep every few thrusts.
“Ean,” I murmured to him, my body warming and releasing from his gentle touches.
Once in a steady rhythm, his hand moved up my chest and grabbed my full breast before his fingers attempted to find the buttons of my linen shirt.
He laid soft kisses along my neck, his palm’s finding my bra and cupping me through the garment.
“Amy . . .” He panted, getting closer and I was almost disappointed he hadn’t used the pet name.
I reached back and undid my bra and shirt for him, slipping all the items off in a fury and bringing his mouth to my chest.
He sucked, bit, licked, enjoyed every second with my bare chest. I held him there, running my hands through his hair and burying my lips to his ear, kissing his stubbled cheek.
Feeling him tense under me, I brought his mouth to mine and our tongues met in a tender exchange as he filled me, holding me tight against him.
Mindless, I murmured things to him. Kissing and caressing him as he relaxed from his release. With tentative fingers, I brushed his bangs from his clammy forehead.
His arms on me loosened and then both of his big hands found my protruding stomach. “I love you.”
I pressed my mouth his ear and nibbled his lobe, too wrapped up at the moment to really scold him. “Ean.”
“I do.”
When he slipped from me, I moved off his lap to the bench, still shivering from the way he’d awaken me inside. I decided to ignore the new topic he’d so suddenly brought up, wanting to bask longer in the high.
I blushed. “You made a mess.”
“You stripped willingly.”
That was more than true. I collected my bra and shirt and put the items back on as he fixed his jeans and started the vehicle. As the dash light came on, we noticed the fogged windows and condensation.
“Ew.”
Looking at me, he smiled. “Let me guess, sex in a vehicle is a foreign concept for you?”
“Your point?”
“I have none. Now, come back over here.”
I crawled back into the middle seat and tucked myself into his side. “It’s probably good you own my car virginity.”
“Well, if I couldn’t do the actual deed, I’ll settle for car virginity.” He laughed, pulling back out onto the highway.
“When did you lose it?” He asked after a few minutes.
“Lose what?”
He smiled and then got the words from his lips. “Your virginity.”
“Oh God.” I flushed at the topic. “Err—when I was twenty-one.”
“Really?” He got an interest in him I hadn’t been expecting. “You held out that long?”
“Hey,” I grumbled.
He patted my thigh in reassurance. “Oh, it’s okay.”
“When did you?” I prodded now that he knew more than I did.
“When I was sixteen.” He had a good ten years on me.
Huffing, I looked away. “Just some girl?”
“My girlfriend, at the time,” He explained.
I rolled my eyes with a bud of jealousy plaguing my core.
“Who took yours?”
I shrugged. “No one.”
He laughed. “Amy, do you need a lesson in the birds and bees?”
“I don’t want to say,” I grumbled.
“Was it ‘dickface’?” Ean asked gently.
“No.” It was way worse than him and I really didn’t want to tell him due to the way I knew he’d take the news.
“Okay.” He sighed.
I whined, Ean made me want to be honest with myself and I could barely stand it. “Do not judge me.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” He said, and I knew he wouldn’t either. “You don’t need to tell me. It’s the past—”
“It was my Economics Professor in University.”
“What!” Ean growled, his brow creasing with a profound confusion.
“Yeah, I know not very glamorous but whatever—”
“Oh, Jesus, Amy!” He cut me off. “Why!”
“I’m not a whore . . .” I tried.
“I never said that.” He snapped, “What sort of professor fucks his students?”
“It’s a sore spot.” I breathed.
“Did you two love each other or something?”
I blinked, staring into the darkness of the night as I whispered, “No, it was a one-time thing.”
“What!” The information was clearly too much for him to wrap his head around and I regretted the truth every second after. “Why would you let him take your virginity then? That’s horrible, Amy.”
“Ean, I don’t want to hear it!” I was almost in tears over something I had long ago locked away in a vault. “I was failing. I wanted it so bad. I did what I had to. I needed the grade for the internship I was after.”
“Well, that asshole deserves to be beat out back,” he growled, “Who came after him?”
“Richard.” I breathed, the realism of my relationships was horrible and I hated it.
Ean sighed and rubbed the hair off his forehead as he came to a conclusion. “No wonder you can’t love me.”
“You’re different though—”
“Well, damn right, I’m different. Amy, I’m never going to do what they’ve done to you.”
“I’m starting to see that,” I breathed.
He took his hand from my lap and put his arm around my shoulder, bringing me to him. “I won’t hurt you.” His cheek dropped to my forehead as he nuzzled me into a mild sedation. “I love you.” He was sincere in his promise and I believed him, closing my eyes with acceptance.
~~~
I woke in his bed, next to him as a high pitch ringing broke through the blissful silence of the log home.
He groaned, inching away from me, my cheek slipping along his bare chest to the bed sheets.
“Amy . . .” He switched off the white noise that had followed the beeps.
I moaned, tucking myself back in his side. “Mm?”
“Sweetie, I have to go.”
I blinked, coming to. “What?”
“I’m on call, remember?” He said in a gentle voice as he worked himself out of my arms.
I sighed, briefly remembering his conversation with me before we’d gone to bed.
He got out of bed and I took the few moments as he walked out of the room to stare at his bare ass. I smiled and closed my sleepy eyes, listening to him talk to the dispatch and come back into the room.
I sat up slow, feeling a bit dizzy. “When will you be back?”
He pulled on his dark blue pants and did up his belt. “Soon, I’m sure. It’s only a routine call.”
Not knowing what he meant, I just nodded. “Okay.”
He grabbed his uniform and slipped it over his shoulders and then came down on the bed next to me. His mouth met mine and I brought him close, sinking my tongue against his.
He moaned as my hand slipped along his bare chest beneath the open shirt. “Sweetie.”
I went to correct him, but the words lodged in my throat. There was little point and even if I did continue to deny him, I realized he was almost more stubborn than I. It wouldn’t matter, he would continue to call me the pet name until he decided not to anymore.
“Bye,” he said in a low voice. “Eat something if you get up.” He stood and did up the buttons of his shirt as he walked to a duffle bag across the room, and left there after.
Noticing it was just daybreak, I returned to his pillows. I’d slept better in his bed then I had ever done on my own, not wanting to overthink that, I let myself fall back to sleep.
~~~
It was no time at all before I felt him return to bed, snuggling against my warm body with his cool limbs.
Mumbling, he nuzzled my shoulder and laid soft kisses on my freckled shoulders.
“That was quick.” I breathed.
“It’s almost noon.” He laughed.
“Oh!” I snapped my eyes open. “I didn’t—” I turned on to my back and looked up at him. “I never looked at the clock.”
“Shh, it’s fine.” He adjusted the blankets around me till he could place his palm over my swollen abdomen. “You need to sleep, you’re growing a baby.”
“How was. .” I searched for the words.
“The call?” He helped me.
“Yeah.” I nodded, taking note.
“Just a transfer, nothing special, took longer than I expected, though.”
I smiled, trying to ignore the butterflies building within. “I was dead, so it’s not like you missed much.”
He chuckled and kissed my cheek. “Apparently. So, are you hungry? I can make you eggs, bacon . . . or . . . eggs, bacon, toast.”
“So many options, Ean.” I joked.
He shrugged. “I like my breakfasts one way. Eggs, bacon.”
“It’s lunch.” I corrected.
“If you want to be technical, we can stay in bed.” He threatened, moving over top me.
I smiled, bracing my hands on his shoulders. “I need to pee.”
“Fine.” He moved off me.
I got up, naked, taking my time to open my bag, I let him watch me.
“Hmm.”
I looked over my shoulder as I slipped on a tank top, “What?”
He smiled, “So, eggs and bacon?”
“Okay.”
He got out of bed with a bounce in his step. “I’ll go start it.”
“Mmhm.” I slipped on a pair of yoga pants as he walked out of the bedroom.
Quick to his luxurious washroom, I brushed my teeth and fixed my hair that had been matted in the back from Ean humping me senseless the entire night. My cheeks burned and I focused on just getting the knots out of my red hair before I combusted.
Padding back down the hall, I walked to him in the kitchen, where I found the Saturday morning paper on the granite.
“You get the paper here?”
“I bought it in town,” He said, turning down a burner and grabbing a plate.
“Oh, can I read it?”
He looked at me and smiled. “Of course.”
We took a moment, staring at each other before I bit my bottom lip and whipped up the paper and sat at the wood table.
“Did you sleep well?” He asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, I forgot how warm and comfy your bed is.”
“You liked my bed before?” Curiosity getting the better of him.
I looked up from the paper. “Yep.”
“Interesting,” He commented.
“It’s not quite a good enough sell to get me to leave my job, though.” I joked.
He grunted, “No, nothing is.”
I winced and looked down to the paper again, trying to ignore the comment.
He brought me food and I couldn’t stand his new silence.
“Ean.” I had caught his hand before he walked away.
He looked down at me. “What is it?”
“I worked really hard for this job. I gave up everything I’d ever known and tried so hard.”
“It’s alright, Amy. I understand.” He assured me, kissing my forehead. To him, a life with me was more important and maybe I could see it from that point of view but my job meant almost as much to me and that I knew, he didn’t understand.
I swallowed, letting him go as he fetched his food and I spent that time staring at mine. I doubted there was a better man alive than Ean Hunter and it killed me to think about what our future held.
“After we eat, I want to show you something,” He said between bites.
“What?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“I don’t like surprises,” I warned.
“Would have never figured.” He laughed, eating more. “I was bored all week, let’s just say that.”
“Joy.” I breathed, starting on my food.
When we were done our food, he walked me to his wood shop. It being much easier to access without the three feet of snow. He opened the shop door for me and I walked in, glancing around at the many projects.
“Do people pay you to make things?”
“Yep.” He took my hand and walked me forward.
“And so, you were still bored?” I poked.
“Yes.” He smiled, bringing me to the back of the large building. He walked ahead of me and stopped. “Well?”
I looked to what he was now touching and my lips parted, a small gasp escaping.
“Amy?” He asked after a long silent moment.
My eyes studied the handcrafted sleigh crib of dark wood and intricate carvings. “Y-you made this?” It wasn’t no jewelry box.
He hesitated. “Yeah, it’s not quite finished yet but—Do you like it?”
My eyes met his, I wasn’t sure what to make of it but I felt happiness, warmth, and confusion.
“Amy?”
I saw his expression changing, his pride leaving him the longer I took to respond.
“Yes!” I blurted out. “Yes, it’s beautiful.”
His shoulders dropped with the smile forming on his lips. “I’m glad you like it. I didn’t think about this getting awkward—”
I launched myself at him and our lips met. I felt nothing like me with him, the person I had been for so long was vanishing before my eyes and I wasn’t trying to stop it from happening either.
He broke our mouths, his hand cupping my neck and drawing his thumb along my cheek as his eyes stayed locked on mine. If he were about to say something endearing, my knees would give out I was sure but the same high pitch alert went off on his belt, breaking the moment.
He groaned and flipped it off. “Bad timing much?”
My hands navigated over his chest, ignoring that he’d have to leave me again. “Thank you.”
He kissed me gently. “You’re welcome.”
“I love it,” I murmured against his smile.
“If you can say that about a crib, you can say it to me.”
My stomach clenched. “Ean—”
His pager went off again, this time, the dispatcher a bit more antsy with her radio call.
“Three twenty-one Kilo, second page. One partner called in.”
He groaned. “I need to go.”
I nodded as he took my hand, leading me to the back deck of the log home where we slipped inside the sliding glass doors.
I watched as he walked to his radio and once he was done, I smiled. “Will I always have to share you?”
He came to me, kissing me. “Part of the job, unfortunately.”
I took his cheeks and didn’t let him leave. “Be careful.”
His eyes lit and he kneaded me into his form. “I haven’t heard that for a long time.” He said goodbye and got changed before I had much time to think about what he’d meant.
I figured he had placed me in a category of meaning. We now meant something to each other and I didn’t ever see it ever ending.
“Bye, sweetie. I’ll be back soon.”
I nodded, kissing him before he departed the quiet, peaceful house that brought me much more comfort than I thought possible. Walking to the couch, I sat, a hand on my tiny bump, thinking of Ean, and Ean alone.