Saturday morning I woke with my face pressed into a pillow, blankets all around me and my toes, cold and exposed to the air.
I stirred with a shiver, turning on my back. With lazy eyes, I took in the bright room of spring sun and cursed it. The familiar clicking of the front door startled me into a sitting position and I hugged the blankets around my bare chest, remembering the night before. “Where is he?” My whispers and anxiety flooded away with the sudden onset of morning sickness.
Holding my mouth, I ran naked to the en-suite, getting to the toilet just in time.
The shuffle of Ean’s footsteps came from behind me, as I puked into the toilet. “Go away!” My face growing hot with embarrassment.
“You alright?”
I would have been better if I wasn’t naked with my face in a toilet. “Go.”
He draped a towel over my shoulders and I took the offer, wrapping it around my body quick. His hand rested on my shoulder, a reassuring grip but I still was weary of his presence.
“I got you breakfast.” His voice was soft as he offered me his hand.
With a sigh, I took his aid and he pulled me to him, holding me up.
“Okay?”
A shiver crept my limbs and I moved away to the sink. “This is normal.”
He waited as I brushed my teeth, leaving me with enough time to notice how relaxed he was and how on edge I was.
“What?” I said with a mouth full of toothpaste.
“Hungry?”
“Well,” I spat. “I just puked so . . . not really.” Turning to face him, I held the towel in place over my chest.
My eyes wandered over his jeans and shirt, he looked like he belonged back in the bush.
“You brought a change of clothes?”
“I keep clothes in my truck. Part of the body fluid issue of my job.”
“What?” I wrinkled my nose.
He smiled. “Blood, vomit, other things. They tend to get on me.”
“Ew.” I winced away. “That’s disgusting.”
“Hence the change of clothing.” He laughed.
“Yeah.” I nodded, looking past him to my room. “So, I should get some clothes on.”
“Sure.” He agreed.
I waited for him to move but he didn’t. Stepping forward, after an awkward thirty seconds, I tried to squish around him. “Ean, move.”
He wrapped his arm around my waist, stopping me from going anywhere. “You said you wouldn’t hate me.”
Our eyes met and I saw the sadness in his. “I don’t.”
“Hmm.” He looked me over, his hands on my waist. “Are you sure? Because you seem upset with me being here. Did you think I was going to leave?”
“No, I . . .”
He stopped my words with a kiss, gathering me close as his tongue dipped against mine, till he broke us apart and I almost chased after his mouth without thinking.
“Get dressed, sweetie. I’ll get your breakfast ready.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why?”
“Because,” I breathed, “That’s what you say to people who—”
He tilted his head, “Who are what?”
“Ean, we’re not together.”
He sighed, “Well, that’s something we should talk about. At breakfast. So, get something on and come out.” He leaned in and kissed me quick before walking out of my room.
I groaned once the door shut and leaned into the near wall, he wanted us to be together and I knew that. Except I didn’t understand how that was going to translate into our current lives and locations.
As I dressed, I thought about the night before, how well I’d slept beside him, how warm he was and loving. It made my body feel fuzzy, I wanted more of that from him but I wasn’t ready to admit it aloud.
When I stepped into the kitchen, he had bought me breakfast and had fixed up a plate at the breakfast bar, utensils and all.
I slipped onto one of the posh leather stools and looked over the freshly made breakfast from down the street, I knew exactly where he’d gone for it.
“Look alright?” He asked from the other side of the granite.
I nodded and picked up my fork. “Looks good, yeah.” Shoving some food in my mouth, I realized how hungry I was.
He watched me, putting away some garbage. “I think we should go grocery shopping in a—”
“Don’t you have to leave for work?” I cut him off.
“No, it’s alright.”
“Well, you can’t keep blowing off work for me.” Astounded he had no real attachment to working or money for that matter.
He shook his head. “Don’t worry about that.”
“Well . . .” I began to level with him but he wouldn’t have it.
“Do you want me here? If you don’t, I can leave. You can say that.”
A solid lump built in my throat. “That’s not it.”
“Okay.” He paused. “What is it then?”
I sighed. “You just seem to care more about putting up with me than you do, your job.”
“Putting up with you?” He looked confused. “I’m not putting up with you, Amy, I want to be with you.”
I didn’t get another mouthful of food as the last of his words hit me like a bullet. “You do? H-how so?”
“Like your boyfriend?” He attempted the phrase.
I stared at him, it was juvenile, like we were twelve-year-olds that had held hands once and were going to get married one day. “We’re not even dating!”
“Okay, do you want to date me?” He shifted his weight as he realized how weird that sounded.
“You don’t even know me.”
He lifted an eyebrow and said nothing.
“You don’t.”
“Fine,” He grunted, “But I know you well enough to please you—”
I slammed my palm to the granite. “That’s because your good in bed and your cock is huge.”
“Whoa! I really wasn’t going there, but . . .” He broke into a large smile, “Thank you?”
“Forget I said that.” I squeaked.
He laughed to himself. “Sure.”
I boiled as we stared at each other.
His shoulders relaxed with a deep breath. “Let’s rewind. If I can’t be your boyfriend and I can’t date you, what can I be? Without this becoming weird and sleazy.”
I began to eat again and said between bites, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Well, Amy,” He leaned over the counter. “I won’t just come here and have sex with you. I want something in return.”
My eyes widened as I gulped down the half chewed breakfast in my mouth. “You’re a guy.”
He looked like I’d hit him with a brick, especially when his eyebrows furrowed as they were right then. “I can’t believe you want me to just come here and fuck you.”
“I didn’t say that!” I shot.
“Sort of sounded like that, no offense.”
Annoyed and confused, I shoved more food down my throat. “I don’t know what I want, Ean!” I finally exclaimed after more than a few tense seconds.
He grunted. “Apparently.”
I forced myself to swallow, coughing while I did.
He stared at me. “Please, don’t die.”
I coughed once more. “Shut up.”
“I’m not going to push it on you, but you said you like me, you slept with me last night and—”
“Oh god, please don’t say it,” I grumbled.
“And,” He continued against my wishes, “You’re pregnant with my baby.”
“Had to say it, didn’t you?”
“It’s a fairly important point.” He snapped. “Agree to something. Something that gives me a bit of commitment.”
Not knowing what to say, I watched the longer I stayed silent, affect him. His eyes grew sad and his mouth a hard line of disappointment.
It bothered me to see him like that. “We can try.”
“Try what?” He grunted.
“Being together.” I breathed. “But you can’t call me sweetie.”
He made a face. “Why?”
“Because!” I argued. “I’m not sweet.”
“You are.”
“Oh god, what’s wrong with you!” I stared at him.
He smirked. “Maybe my cock’s too big.”
My face burnt and I looked away from him.
He laughed. “What can I call you then?”
“Amy.”
“No, that’s not going to work out.”
“Why?”
“Because.” He motioned to me. “What am I going to call you when I talk about you? Or when people ask! Baby-momma?”
“No!” I shuddered. “That’s gross!”
He smiled. “But that’s what you are.”
“Shut up!” I snapped, “You can say I’m your girlfriend, I guess. If you have too.”
His smirk grew into a smile. “Did you just agree to be my girlfriend?”
I dropped my chin and stared him down in warning. “Ean.”
He walked around the granite and came beside me. “Is that what you just did?”
“Stop.” I tried to shake him off as his hand brushed my hair from my shoulder and his mouth came to the crook of my freckled neck to kiss me. “Hmm?”
“Y-you just like to live in the moment . . . we need a plan . . .”
“No, we don’t,” he mumbled, biting into my neck and shoulders.
I let my eyes close, gripping his wrists, bringing his arms around me. One of his hands came under my shirt and rubbed the tiny bump I was beginning to sprout and I swelled with more emotion than I expected.
I choked up and he responded to it, spinning me in the stool and picking me up, my legs around his midsection. A tiny gasp escaped me as he walked me back to the bedroom, our tongues moving and dipping together once again. I knew then our situation was dangerous and I could see myself quickly falling into a relationship with him. He made me feel whole in ways I never had, but he also scared the living crap out of me.
I smiled as he came to me on his elbows along the bed and messy quilts. “I thought you wanted to go shopping.”
He nodded, kissing me. “After I make love to you.”
My stomach fluttered, and I tried not to let his perfect words affect me but they had. It was the way he looked at me, spoke to me, and touched me that no man had done before and I couldn’t help but sample it a bit longer than I should have.
Undressing me quick, he took my hips and lifted me enough to fill me at the perfect angle. I arched back into the bed, moaning in reprieve.
He watched with an intensity that made me blush. “How’s that, sweetie?”
I panted. It was incredible but I wasn’t going to give him that answer. “You’re not allowed to call me that.”
He smiled, tracing his hand down to my wetness. “Hmm. Fine, girlfriend.”
I growled, clenching my jaw against the rubbing he’d started on my bundle of sensitive flesh. “S-stop.”
He came to me, kissing me and ignoring all further protests.
The door buzzer in the hall went off. Once, twice, three times. I now growled at it, in no mood to be interrupted.
“What’s that?” He asked.
“The buzzer.”
“Oh.” He wasn’t used to interrupting either it seemed and it took him a moment to get his brain back in place.
“I’ll get rid of them.”
“Hmm.” He rolled off me and as I left the bed, grabbing his shirt and putting it on. Down the hall, I skipped, till I got to the incessant buzzing.
“Hello?” I clicked the intercom. Rubbing my thighs together to soothe the throbbing he’d begun to take care of.
“Oh my god, I thought you were dead.”
“Beth?”
“Yeah, of course, it’s me! I’ve been trying to call you all morning.”
I had not checked my phone yet, but how could I when Ean Hunter had been my Saturday morning wake up. “Sorry.”
“Are you going to let me in?”
“Yeah, sorry!” I buzzed her in and looked myself over as I hung up the phone. I was naked aside the shirt. “Shit!” I dashed back towards the bedroom and scooted through the open door.
Ean was waiting for me, still naked, still hard. I had to stop myself from jumping on top of him and taking a seven minutes in heaven ride.
“You need to get dressed.” I blurted out, throwing him his jeans.
He sat up. “I thought you were getting rid of them?”
I made a noise of reply as I found my yoga pants. “It’s Elizabeth, she sounds weird.”
“Alright.” Getting up in search of his boxers, he didn’t argue against my need to help a friend.
I screeched as the knock at the door hit. “Ean, come on!” I left the room in a hurry. Only to find a puffy-eyed Elizabeth Saltz on the other side of my door.
I stared at her in confusion. “What’s wrong?”
She began to sob, walking in the front door.
I clicked the lock in place as she headed to the kitchen, trying to keep up.
“Are you okay?”
“No!” She broke down, sliding onto a bar stool and glancing over my breakfast. “Ugh.” She pushed the plate away.
My eyes snapped to the bedroom door as Ean appeared, shirtless.
Elizabeth’s attention shifted from crying to staring at him. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I had no idea he was still here.” She turned back to me with big apologetic eyes which I brushed off.
“Why do you have no shirt on?” I snapped at him.
“You have it.” He pointed to the shirt I had on and smiled. “Hey, Beth.”
She sniffed, slipping off the chair. “Hey.” She wiped her face. “I’ll go.”
“N-no!” I panicked, worried about her. “One second!” I hurried and grabbed him, shoving him back in the room.
I ripped off his shirt and threw it at him. “Seriously?”
“Seriously?” He echoed with a laugh and pulled the shirt over his head.
I found a tank top in my drawers and settled for that, less a bra.
“Is she alright?” Ean asked as I fixed the shirt over my hips, openly watching me do so.
“I don’t know. I’m going to find out, though.” I walked back to the door, and he followed me.
“Beth, what’s wrong?”
“I can’t do this anymore!” She burst when I was back in the kitchen.
I blinked. “Do what?”
She paused, then sobbed. “Steve and me.”
“Whoa! What!” I exclaimed.
Ean walked into the living room, I was thankful he knew when to duck out.
Beth nodded. “I don’t think I can.”
“Oh my god, Beth, what are you talking about?” I breathed. “You’ve been married for eight years.”
“He’s cheating on me.”
I stared at her and shook my head. “N-no. It’s Steve, Beth. He wouldn’t do that.”
“We’re not happy, Amy!” She exclaimed.
“What?” I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Steve and Beth were my only friends, there was no way this was happening.
She nodded. “I saw his phone last night after we got back from dinner.”
“This is bullshit!” I exclaimed.
“I saw his phone, Amy.” She cried. “I saw it and I know what he’s doing.”
“Did you confront him?”
“Y-y-yes.” She got out.
“So?” I wanted the details, now.
“He admitted to it.” She breathed, “I told him, I want a divorce.”
“What!” I shouted, “It’s ridiculous! This doesn’t make sense.”
“To me it does.” Her voice became shallow and distant. “It’s been like this the past year and bit. No doctor in this country can make me get pregnant and we . . . we don’t even love each other.”
“What do you mean?” I snapped. “You don’t need to love each other.”
“Amy.” Beth blurted out, “You’re saying I should have stayed with him?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Not, if he’s cheating.”
“Well, he is.” She shot in a cold voice. “He’s done with me.”
I leaned on the counter and took a breath. “This is so stupid—”
“It’s only stupid because you didn’t know about it.”
“Exactly, why did you not say anything!”
“Because, Amy.” She shot, “You wouldn’t have got it.”
That made me upset and my brow creased my forehead. “You don’t think I would have got it?”
Beth shrugged.
“Then why even tell me now, Beth, if I’m not going to get it.”
“I didn’t want to admit it, okay!”
I rolled my eyes, looking away, where my sight fell on Ean. Giving me a look where he sat on the couch, it made me want to scream. “Do you have something to say?” I shot at him.
“I have nothing to say.” He called and looked down the remote in his hands.
“No!” Beth stood with a stamp of her foot. “Tell me Ean . . .” My best friend stormed into the living room and it was almost funny the way he became startled by her presence.
“Sorry, what?”
“Why are men such pigs!” She shrilled at him.
He blinked while I found the attack on his sex rather amusing and snickered to myself.
“Well!” She shot.
I had to intervene, though, it was going nowhere. “Really, Beth? The wrong guy to ask.”
Ean sighed, giving into her. “I don’t know why he chose to cheat on you, Beth.” He was so sincere and seemed to bring her more peace than I had so far.
Beth slumped down into the couch next to him. “But he did.”
“Maybe he’s blind,” Ean suggested.
“Why would you say that?” I snapped.
“Because she’s beautiful. He’s obviously blind.” He came to the conclusion.
Beth and I stared at him in silence and then she choked up.
“It’s not because I can’t get pregnant?”
“I don’t think so.” Ean said in a soft voice. “He’s just being a dick.”
Beth rolled her eyes. “He’s a salesman. Lying and coning is his job description.”
Ean grunted. “I think, I’d make a bad sale’s person.”
“Ean, really?” I shot.
He shrugged and looked at his hands which still held the television remote.
“No.” Beth sobbed. “You’re like the perfect man!”
“Really?” Rolled his deep voice as he looked to me.
“She’s just upset.” I retorted, shutting him up.
I came to the ground beside her. “I’m sorry, Beth. We’ll get through this, we get through everything.”
Beth nodded. “It’s . . . thank you.”
I looked at the floor where my legs were curled up under me and my belly rounded out against it. Beth wanted what I had gotten so easy, and it wasn’t fair to her and Steve was an asshole for it. I didn’t know what else to say and Ean looked stumped just as much as I but maybe Beth didn’t need us to speak; maybe she just needed us.
~~~
I walked into the kitchen as Ean slipped the last plate in the dishwasher. A machine I couldn’t remember ever using.
Glancing at the clock on the wall that read eleven at night, I came beside him as he shut the door.
“She’s asleep.”
“That’s good,” his voice quiet.
I nodded, glancing over my shoulder to Elizabeth covered in the blankets I had tucked around her.
“You didn’t have to buy supper again.”
“Not a problem.” He leaned on the counters once finished with the dishes and crossed his arms, watching me.
Our eyes met and I swallowed. “I’m going to let her stay here till . . . whenever.”
“That’s good. Someone to take care of you while I’m not here.” He smiled.
I lifted my eyebrow. “You’re not funny.”
He reached out and brought me against his chest suddenly, kissing me with a gentle mouth.
I fisted his shirt, melting into him. It had been a long day comforting Beth and Ean had stayed out of the way for most of it.
His mouth departed my hungry lips. “I hope Beth can help you shop for food.”
That had not happened like planned. “We can go tomorrow.” I played with the collar of his cotton shirt.
“I have to go in the morning, sweetie.”
My stomach tightened and I tried to hide my sadness. I knew he’d be leaving at some point, and I knew I’d been rather spoiled the last two days with him but that didn’t seem to matter to my thumping heart.
“But I’ll drive out Friday after work.”
“I can come to you. Beth might like the space.”
“You want to come to my house?” He asked, perking up.
“We can take turns, I guess.” Just like how I’d predicted, I fell into a relationship status with him, planning where we’d be and how we’d see each other next.
“I’ll come get you.”
“What?” I smiled. “I have a brand new car.”
He shrugged, his hands stopping on my waist. “It’s a long drive.”
“It’s not that long—”
“You’re pregnant and I watched you nod off like three times today.”
I sighed, inching closer to him so I could feel the warmth of his body against mine. “Beth is exhausting.”
He chuckled at my excuse. “Amy.” Leaning forward, he scooped me off the ground without warning. Though, I had agreed to be his girlfriend, I could not see myself getting used to his need to lift me from the floor anytime soon.
“But I can drive,” I insisted between our lips.
“We’ll argue about this later.” Carrying me to the bedroom and closing the door with his foot, he dropped me on the bed one last time that weekend, and I tried not to think about the fact that I’d have to function a week without him.