My mother stood, graying and small, in a pink floral blouse and nice pants, just as I remembered her. Why had eight years done nothing to her appearance?
“Amy.”
I swallowed, her voice hitting me like an atomic bomb. “H-hi, Mom.”
She smiled, her eyes warming the longer I stood there feeling like I could die.
“Mom!” Christine burst from behind, “Mom, this is Amy’s boyfriend, Ean!” She hauled him over, making a presentation out of him. “He’s a paramedic and isn’t he so tall?”
He chuckled, accepting the random touching, his amusement getting the better of him. “Hello, I’m Ean Hunter.”
My mother smiled at him like he was an angel. “My, you are handsome. I’m Grace.”
“Nice to meet you.” He was an open book and me, well I was closed up and not wanting anyone to read me.
I stiffened next to him as her eyes came back to me.
“Amy, you’re pregnant?”
“Sorta.” I shrugged a shoulder.
Ean smiled. “Amy is the only one I know that can ‘sorta’ be pregnant.”
My sister giggled next to him. “Totally.”
I looked to Christine, glaring, unimpressed with her crushing on my boyfriend.
Grace gave him an appreciative nod. “I’m sure, the baby will be beautiful. Amy has always been very stunning. Her big blue eyes always catching all those boy’s attention but she wouldn’t give them a glance.” There was already, making a point out of my career focus.
Ean shuffled beside me. “She’s perfect, but it took me awhile to reel her in.”
“I believe it! Come sit down.” My mother offered.
I kept still as she turned and went back to her seat, Ean pausing beside me, I knew he didn’t understand my hesitation.
“Want to sit, sweetie?”
My eyes found his and I growled, “No.”
He lifted an eyebrow, dropping chin. “You want to stand? You should sit, I can see you shifting your weight. Are your hips bugging you?”
“Can you . . .” I gritted my teeth, “—go find me some water?”
He perked, why he enjoyed mindless tasks, I would never understand. “Yeah, but sit.” He encouraged me forward.
I huffed and he sat me in the empty chaise three seats over from my watching mother.
“Hey, Christine?” Ean turned to her. “Where’s the kitchen?”
She smiled at him. “I’ll show you.”
I boiled at my sister, why didn’t she just fuck him and get it over with!
I looked away as Ean and Christine disappeared, smoothing my dress over my knees. This was all his fault and I would be killing him tonight for it.
“Amy?”
I looked up to see Suzanne, Bobby’s wife, smiling at me, holding her newborn across the room.
“Oh, hi.” I managed.
She rubbed her baby’s back. “How are you?”
“Fat.” I replied, causing the room to taper off to a pin-drop silence.
Ean walked back in with Christine, and they both stopped mid-step.
“Awkward.” Christine chimed.
I grumbled and everyone around me began to murmur as Ean approached.
“What was that?” He sat next to me, handing me the water.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I want to leave.”
“Do you want to hold her?” Suzanne now in front of me, baby in tote without me even noticing.
I looked up to her. “Oh, I’m good—”
“Go for it, Amy,” Ean interrupted, “You need practice.”
“I’m good.” I forced a smile.
“No, try.” Ean pressed.
“No.” I said through my teeth.
“Oh.” Suzanne looked up as Bobby walked in with my brother. “Please, hold her one second. Bobby, I need to talk to you.”
She offered me the baby but I hesitated, Ean took the child instead.
I stared at him as Suzanne walked away.
“You don’t want to hold the baby?” He asked, once she was gone.
“No.” I repeated.
“Why not?”
“I’d rather die.” I said in a low voice.
He arched his brow. “You’re being too dramatic.”
“I’ll show you who’s dramatic when we get home.” I threatened.
Ean shook his head and looked down the baby. “She’s cute, eh?”
I grumbled, not acknowledging.
“Amy?”
“Yeah.” I finally gave him.
“Amy,” My mother spoke up over everyone.
I sighed and looked at her. “Yeah?”
“When are you due?”
“Soon.” I chirped, not wanting to give out any details.
Ean smiled. “She’s very specific.”
“She insists on hiding her life and pretending we don’t exists.” My mother informed him.
I was wreathing and I wondered why suddenly Ean couldn’t see it. He was generally more perceptive of myself than I was. I concluded all this was just far too distracting for him.
The baby let out a cry and Ean turned his attention to comforting the child till Suzanne came back. He looked good with a baby and if I hadn’t been sitting surrounded by my family, the image might have even turned me on.
“Sorry,” Suzanne scooped her up from his careful arms. “She’s hungry.”
“Can’t help there.” Ean admitted.
I rolled my eyes, about done with the experience but then my bladder called to me. As in empty me.
“Suzanne, where’s the washroom?” I asked.
She pointed down a nearby hall. “Second door on the left.”
“Thanks.” I stood, Ean helping me, though capable on my own, that was never enough for him. Making my way down the hall, I tried to ignore my growing terror.
I hadn’t been expecting much, not a family reunion or anything to that level, but my mother, I’d never experienced her so cold and angry. It bothered me, to be honest, but I supposed her attitude made sense. It was in correlation and exactly on par to our last words to each other years before.
I didn’t want to stay any longer, so once out of the washroom, I was quick to Ean.
“We need to go.” I said under my breath, leaning into him.
He looked to me. “Is something wrong?”
“Uh—” Freaking everything, he was blind that day!
“Sweetie?”
“Not really, I mean, come on.” I said in a harsh whisper.
“Okay, well, few more minutes.”
“No. Now.” I pressed.
He pointed to the gifts. “I think they’re doing gifts.”
“So?” I shot under my breath.
“So, it would be rude.”
“I don’t need a lesson on etiquette. I want to go.”
“Amy.” He put his hand on my thigh and I pushed it off. “Calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to ‘calm down.’” I hissed, not realizing my mother had approached me at my other side.
“Amy.” Her voice caught my attention and I looked up to her, “Can I talk to you a minute?”
NO! Fuck no.
I hesitated. “W-why?”
“Amy.” Ean laughed.
“I just want to talk to you, in the kitchen,” my mother explained.
Ean rubbed my back, nudging me up. I began to plan a lecture in my mind that he would hear the whole way home and then some.
I got up, quicker than my body expected and cringed, trying to recover.
“Are you alright?” My mother asked.
“I’m fine.” Heading for the kitchen, remembering exactly where it was. I didn’t give Ean another glance either, I just hoped my family would put him through some torture like I was about to endure.
Once inside, my mother closed the pocket door and we were alone with a few open packages, food trays and half full cups of punch.
She walked to the table. “Want to sit?”
“Not really.” I snapped.
She sat. “Amy, sit.”
I rolled my eyes and sat a good distance from her.
The first question out of her mouth. “What made you come?”
I shrugged. “We saw Bobby at the hospital.”
“Yeah, he said that.”
“Okay.” I didn’t know what to say to that.
“Your boyfriend is very nice.”
I had nothing to say to that so I just shrugged again.
She tilted her head, smiling. “You don’t like him?”
I paused. “No, of course, I do.”
“He made you come, didn’t he?”
I didn’t reply.
“Look, Amy, I’m happy you came—”
“Really?” I scoffed, almost wishing I hadn’t said that out loud.
“Yes, of course. No one’s known where you’ve been.”
“Not like it really matters,” I snapped
She sighed. “You’re still upset? It was a long time ago. We should move on.”
Move on? Just like that?
“We do miss you.”
I stared at her. “Mother, if I had showed up alone and not pregnant, would you be saying the same thing?”
She didn’t reply.
“That’s what I thought. It’s only because I’m now in the club, isn’t it? Well, I’m not actually in the club. I don’t even live with him and I don’t plan to.” Those words had left a bad taste in my mouth.
She lifted an eyebrow. “This is his baby?”
“Well, duh. I’m not a whore, Mom.”
“And you don’t want to live with him?”
I stared at her, the whole conversation had flipped on me.
My mother smiled. “Your sister is all over him, I’m sure she’d take him if you don’t want him.”
Was that some sort of sick joke?
“I can’t do this.” I stood.
“Amy.” She got serious. “I was joking.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I shot, “None of this matters.”
“Well, Amy, I’d like to fix this. You’re having a baby—”
“That’s exactly it!” I shrilled, “That’s the only reason, I’m allowed back.”
“I think Bobby would have invited you either way.”
I sneered, staying quiet.
“Amy, sit down.”
“I need to go,” I deadpanned.
We stared at each other, when finally, she nodded and I turned my back on her, waiting for the knife.
“Will you call?”
“What?”
“When you have the baby?” She asked, “So we know everything is okay.”
I swallowed. “I don’t know.” Leaving the kitchen, I thought over the conversation. All it made me was sick to my stomach.
I got to Ean, stopping in front of him. “We’re going.”
He sighed with disappointment. “Okay . . .”
“Get up.” I shot, grabbing his bicep when he wasn’t quick enough.
“Are you going, Amy?” Suzanne asked from across the room.
“Yeah, I don’t feel well. Thanks for having us.” I turned and my sister gave me a hug.
“Come back, okay?” She pulled back, smiling. “When you have the baby!”
Not a fucking chance.
“Bye, Christine.”
She smiled and dove at Ean, giving him a hug. “Please, marry Amy.”
I rolled my eyes, feeling annoyed and twitchy.
He smiled at her. “Well, I’ll try.”
Christine knocked my shoulder, “Oh, she’s still on about that independence thing?”
“Christine.” I shot, and she gave me a weak smile in reply. I wasn’t going to wait around for any more awkward goodbyes and I took Ean’s hand, pulling him down the hall.
He found his shoes, again with his slowness.
“Ean, let’s fucking go.”
He looked at me, his shoe in hand. “Calm down.”
“If you tell me once more to ‘calm down,’ I’m going to kill you.” I shot at him.
He lifted his brow. “Sweetie, what happened?”
“Nothing.” I growled, leaving the house, figuring he could figure out the walk to the car alone.
“Amy!” He called after me, once I was at the car, keyless.
Huffing, I waited.
“What happened?” He questioned in front of me on the sidewalk.
“I want to go!” I shouted.
He stared at me, my anger catching him off guard but this was reality and wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it. “Sweetie—”
“No! Unlock the damn car, now.”
“Well, I’m not driving you anywhere, if you’re going to be this upset.”
My eyes went wide and almost smacked him. “Shut up, Ean and unlock the fucking car!”
His shoulders dropped with his exhale of breath. “Amy.”
I felt my emotion building, my anger already at it’s absolute limit. “Open the damn car! Ean!”
He turned, unlocking the vehicle and grabbing the door for me.
I barrelled past him and sat, slamming the door to the frame.
The awkward thick silence with my mother had not been as bad as the one between Ean and I as we drove home.
He might have been mad, I might have yelled at him for no reason but I figured he should have been smart enough to figure out that whole situation had been a living nightmare for me.
Parking the car, I booked it for the elevator. Still we hadn’t spoke, he looked to be mulling. Well, he could mull all he wanted. I hit the call button and waited, Ean joining my side.
I watched him from the corner of my eye, the baby adjusting and kicking my ribs, reminding me clear of my situation with him—which infuriated my already agitated state.
I got to my door and unlocked it, throwing my flats to the side of the hall.
Ean shut the door behind me and followed me down the hall to the kitchen, where I went about looking for food.
He planted his hands to the granite and I heard him clear his throat clear as day. “Amy. I think we should talk.”
I smiled, still with my head in the fridge. “Oh, now you want to talk?” I found some strawberries and pulled out the carton.
He watched me start to chew off each berry to the stem. “I figured you needed time to think.”
“About what?” I snapped.
“Amy, what happened with your mother?”
“Nothing.” I hissed, walking to the living room.
He followed. “Did nothing actually happen or are you just pissed off about it?”
I sat. “Nothing.” My tone was like a snake waiting to bite and he would be my victim if he continued.
“Amy.” He pressed, standing in front of the television as I grabbed the remote.
“Can you get out of the fucking way?” I shot.
“You’re family all seemed really nice. I’m trying to understand why you ran away like a little kid.”
I looked to him, my face hardening. “Excuse me?”
He shrugged. “They’re nice.”
“You don’t even know them.” I reminded him.
“What happened with your mother?”
“Nothing!” I shouted at him.
“Why won’t you tell me!” His voice rose and though it took a lot for Ean Hunter to get to that point, he was there now.
I stood. “Because, it’s none of your business!”
He closed the space between us and I could feel his heavy breath hitting me, like an angry bull might, right before it charged.
“I’m your boyfriend!”
“So?” I shot. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You never want to talk about anything!” He exclaimed. “How am I suppose to get to know you if you refuse to even let me in!”
“There’s nothing to get to know. I told you, I didn’t want to go there, but you made me. This is your fault!” I accused him, the bitter taste back in my mouth.
He smiled. “My fault? Amy, your the one with an issue with everyone.”
I had enough of my life and him. “Why don’t you just leave?”
“What?” He froze and that had sure gotten his attention.
I stood my ground, the only thing left I knew how to do. “Leave.”
He took a moment to register what I was asking him to. “Alright,” He approached me, “I don’t think you want me to go.”
“You don’t know what I’m thinking.”
He swallowed and I saw his nervousness. “That’s because you don’t tell me anything.”
I shrugged, I wasn’t going to let him win, not this time.
“You’re going to let me leave?” He questioned, “You’re almost eight months pregnant with my baby!”
“So?”
“So?” He roared, “Amy, I’m trying to help you!”
“All you did today was force me to go somewhere I didn’t want to go.”
“But it wasn’t that bad!” He argued.
“You’re not me, Ean!”
He rolled his eyes.
“God, seriously, just go!” I hit his very near chest.
“I could understand better if you told me things—”
“I don’t care, Ean! We are so different and we’ve always been and that’s just that!”
He stayed perfectly still a moment and then said without believing his own words, “Are you breaking up with me?”
“It’s likely not going to work anyway.”
“What?” He looked like I’d knocked him down more than a few pegs but I had.
“Holy shit.” He stared at me, “Are you serious?”
“Just go.” I walked away from him to my room.
He didn’t follow me and though I felt bile rising in my stomach and my heart breaking, I didn’t expect him to leave, it was Ean after all. But the front door slamming was more than clear.
Ean Hunter had left me.