The morning light felt too harsh as it poured through the kitchen window, highlighting the clutter on the table and making the air feel heavier than it should have. I sat nursing a cup of coffee, its warmth a faint comfort against the cold knot of guilt twisting in my stomach. Caleb had dropped me off just before dawn, his goodbye casual but lingering, his hand brushing mine in a way that felt like a question he wasn’t ready to ask.
Now, with the haze of whiskey long gone, guilt crept in like a shadow, sharp and unrelenting. I told myself that being with Caleb was a step forward. Logan had made his choice, and Caleb was here, offering me something steady, something simple. But no matter how much I tried to believe it, the ache in my chest refused to fade. It clung to me, a quiet, persistent reminder of everything I was trying—and failing—to let go.
At school, the hallways felt more suffocating than usual, the fluorescent lights too bright, the sound of lockers slamming too loud. Vanessa was glued to Logan’s side, her arm looped through his as they walked together. Her laugh echoed down the corridor, loud and forced, like she wanted everyone to see how happy they were. Like she wanted me to see.
During lunch, I sat with Sarah, trying to focus on her animated chatter about some new app she’d discovered. Her voice rose and fell as she explained its features, but her words barely registered. My attention kept drifting to the other side of the cafeteria, where Logan sat with Vanessa. She was at the center of the conversation, her hands moving as she spoke animatedly to the group. Logan, however, looked distant. His hand rested limply on hers, his gaze unfocused as though he were somewhere else entirely.
For a brief moment, his eyes flicked toward me. The contact was fleeting, but it hit like a spark, lighting up every raw nerve I’d been trying to bury. My chest tightened, my breath catching as I quickly looked away.
“Don’t,” Sarah said firmly, pulling me back to the present. Her voice was calm but carried a sharp edge. She didn’t need to explain—she knew exactly where my mind had gone.
“I wasn’t,” I lied, stabbing at my salad with unnecessary force.
“You were,” she said, her tone softening as she placed her hand over mine, stilling my movements. “Emma, you’ve gotta let this go. Logan, Vanessa, Caleb—none of it’s good for you.”
I sighed, resting my chin on my hand as I stared at my tray. The lump in my throat was hard to swallow, the weight of her words sinking deep into my chest. “I know. But it’s not that simple.”