When Sarah and I got back to my house, the air felt heavy, like the universe had pressed pause just to watch me unravel. The ultrasound picture was burning a hole in my bag, but I couldn’t bring myself to take it out again. Seeing it once had been overwhelming enough.
“I still can’t believe it,” Sarah said, breaking the silence as we walked inside. She slumped onto my couch and looked at me with wide eyes. “Twins, Emma. Two lives. That’s... that’s a lot to handle.”
“Yeah,” I said quietly, sinking into the chair across from her. My voice sounded distant, even to me.
“Have you thought about what you’re going to do?” Sarah leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. Her concern was written all over her face.
“Not really,” I admitted. “I mean... how can I? I’m still trying to process it.”
Sarah frowned, chewing on her bottom lip. “You can’t keep this a secret forever, you know. Logan and Caleb... one of them is the father. They deserve to know.”
“I can’t,” I whispered, my throat tightening. “Not yet. It’s too soon. I need time to figure things out first.”
“Emma, you don’t have a lot of time,” Sarah said gently. “Your belly’s not going to stay flat forever.”
“I know,” I snapped, then immediately regretted it. “Sorry. I just... I can’t think straight right now.”
Sarah sighed, her gaze softening. “I get it. This is huge, and it’s scary. But you’re not alone, okay? You have me.”
Her words were comforting, but they didn’t erase the gnawing anxiety in my chest. “Thanks,” I muttered, staring at the floor.
After Sarah left, the silence in the house was suffocating. I needed air. Grabbing my jacket, I slipped out the back door and headed to the one place that always seemed to help me clear my head: the bar.
The bar was quiet tonight, just a few regulars nursing their drinks and chatting softly. I slipped behind the counter, where Maria, my boss, was wiping down glasses.
“Hey, Emma,” she said, her sharp, steady eyes locking onto me immediately. “You look... rough.”
“Gee, thanks,” I muttered, tying on my apron.
Maria raised an eyebrow. “Something on your mind?”
I hesitated, my fingers fumbling with the apron strings. “Nothing important.”
Maria didn’t buy it for a second. She set down the glass she was holding and leaned against the counter. “Come on. Spill. You’ve got that look.”
“What look?”
“The look that says you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
I sighed, leaning against the counter. “It’s complicated.”
“Life usually is,” Maria said with a shrug. “But sometimes talking helps.”
I bit my lip, debating how much to share. Maria had always been kind to me, but this... this felt like too much. Still, her eyes were steady, patient.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
Maria froze, her brows raising slightly. “Wow. Okay. That’s... a lot.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair.
“Does he know?” she asked softly.
I hesitated. “I don’t even know who... I mean, it could be Logan or Caleb.”
Maria let out a low whistle. “That’s a hell of a situation, kid.”
“Yeah. And I can’t tell them yet. Not until I figure out how to deal with... everything.”
Maria studied me for a long moment, then let out a slow breath. “Alright. But you’re going to need some help, Emma. This isn’t something you can do alone.”
“I know,” I whispered.
Her gaze softened, a flicker of something raw passing over her face. “You remind me of myself, you know.”
“What?” I blinked at her, confused.
Maria set the glass down and leaned closer, her voice quieter now. “I’ve been through this, Emma. A long time ago. I... I lost a baby because I tried to do it all on my own. Didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t ask for help. I thought I was strong enough.” She swallowed hard, her eyes clouding with a pain she rarely let anyone see. “It broke me. And I don’t want to see you go through that.”
My chest tightened. “Maria, I—”
She held up a hand, stopping me. “Listen. I know someone who can help. A doctor. She’s a friend of mine, and she’s discreet. If you’re looking for someone to keep this under wraps, she’s your best bet.”
My head snapped up. “Really?”
Maria nodded. “I’ll give her a call. She’s been through her share of hard times, so she’s got a lot of empathy for situations like this.”
“Thank you,” I said, my voice cracking.
Maria reached across the counter and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “Someday I will tell you my story in more details, Emma. But now please concentrate on making this right.”
Her words stayed with me as I walked home that night, the ultrasound picture tucked safely in my bag. Maybe I didn’t have a plan yet, but for the first time, I felt like I wasn’t completely lost.
And that was something.