Darian sighed. He couldn’t refuse her so he went on.
"My dad didn't bring me back home because he wanted to love and care for me. He took me back to torture me. It all started with him getting so drunk and he would hit me, he brought home different women and did dirty things with them. He joined others to call my mother a whore. He changed, it was as if he was replaced with the soul of someone else. He became so reckless he would get so drunk and waste his time and money on ladies. He ignored the mafia affairs and was carried away. He never treated me like a son, he inflicted pain on me and made me doubt if he was my father, but the DNA proved that he was."
Lena found it hard to believe his father would treat him that way. "I thought you said he couldn't forgive himself for what he did to you? He should have made up for his mistakes when he had you back, why would he treat you like trash?" She glared.
Her insides were burning with fury, she felt like strangling his dad for making him go through all that.
"He had his reasons, you promised not to judge right?" He smiled, he could feel her anger.
"Yes, I wasn't judging. I just felt he should have treated you better."
"I was sad, terribly sad, I always felt everyone was against me. No one loved me and wanted to associate with me. My dad continued to abuse me for years. Whenever he caused a mess, I would have to cover up for him. I even kept his secrets from the mafia because he was meant to be the Don at that time, but he was so irresponsible. To everyone, he was a good man, but to me, he was the worst human I have ever met, but he was my father. I feared him so much and didn't dare to talk back to him or reciprocate whenever he hit me, I just stayed there and let him do whatever he wanted to me because he seemed to find pleasure in hitting me."
"How can he find pleasure in hitting you?" Lena asked.
"He suffered from IED, Intermittent explosive disorder. I didn't know this for years. I was the victim of his anger and frustration. He vented all his pain on me."
"Darian,"She called, her eyes brimming with tears.
"It wasn't his fault, I reminded him of my mother. Seeing me triggered the aggression in him and he just did everything to feel better."
"Did he ever love your mom? If he did, he wouldn't treat you the way he did." Lena said in a soft voice.
"He did, he loved her too much and losing her made him wild," Darian explained. "He didn't know why she left, she just disappeared. He must have thought that she didn't really love him."
"But he didn't look for her either." Darian retorted, annoyed.
"He couldn't go against the rules, he must have expected her to stay but she disappeared."
Lena didn't buy his reasons though. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders.
"You went through all the pain alone. Must have been so hard on you." She looked at him with pitiful eyes.
Darian didn't like that, "Yes, I didn't complain even though it hurt so bad. I felt there was something I could do for him, letting him use me as the object to vent his frustration. It went on for many years and I fell into depression too. It was hard to get out, I felt I couldn't have a good life because my life was so rough at that time, I had to drop out of college. I hung around with some friends who made me believe I could find happiness in hard drugs and weed." He shut his eyes. "Lena, I did terrible things."
She didn't let go of his hands, she wanted to hear it all.
"I became an addict. Pills, weed, drugs, and everything bad you can think of. I became more like my father, a beast like him. And whenever he tried to hit me, I would stop him because I was under the influence of those pills that almost ruined my life. I lived a crazy life, and did every terrible thing you could ever think of." He shook his head. "The first person I ever shot was my dad."
Lena's eyes widened when Darian said that. "You killed him?" She blinked her eyes, hoping he wouldn't say he killed his father.
"No, I didn't. But I was close to killing him. I confronted him when he tried to hit me, I was mad, so mad I didn't know what I was doing. I shut his legs with his gun."
"Oh," she sighed.
"He healed though, he got better. We told everyone that it was an attack from one of the rival mafia families. I think he changed after that because he didn't hit me ever again and he got more serious with the mafia affairs but he was already far behind. I was out there, living recklessly like my father used to. It took a very long time for me to come back to my senses and make a decision that I didn't want to be like him."
Lena looked up at him, she noticed a small scar close to his ear. She assumed it was one of the scars his father gave him.
"My father died in an attack. He wanted to fight those enemies even after he was warned not to. I guess he knew he was going to die that night. He just wanted to pay for all his mistakes, and he chose to pay with his life. I was with him before he died in the hospital and he begged me not to be anything like him. He begged me to be different and make an impact, he begged me to make sure I become the Don of the Dawson family mafia. But I was an addict, I was terrible, my life was in disarray, how could I do that? Just how could I do what he wanted me to do?"
"But you did it, how did you do it?"
Darian smiled, "Gaius took me back, he helped me. That old man saved my life and made me who I am today. He sent me to rehab, and after I got back I went back to school to complete my degree, and I started to see a therapist to get my life back in order. Everything began to change, my life veered away around, and here I am, Dawson Darian, the don of the Dawson family. It wasn't easy for me, but I overcame it and since then, I have found it so hard to love or trust anyone."
"It happens. You are still healing." She stroked his fingers. "The antidepressant pills, are they for life?" She asked, fear noticeable in her shaky voice.
"I don't know, but they've been of great help to me."
"You can live without them, Darian. You just have to take your mind off worries, set your mind on the things that make you happy, things that put a smile on your face." She said to him.
"It's not a thing, Lena. So rude of you to think the person who makes me smile is a thing." He bent over and kissed her lips. "I am not perfect, I have lived a rough life you probably don't like. Now that you know, do you still want to stay by my side?" He stretched out his hand to her.
She hesitated, Darian dropped his head, disgruntled. He withdrew his hand but she pulled it back.
"I will stay if you tell me that thing that makes you smile." She said, almost having an idea he was referring to her.
"I told you to stop referring to her as a thing." He poked her chest. "Her name is Lena, she's the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen."
She beamed, "I am the one?"
"You," he kissed her again. "Lena," he intertwined their fingers together. "I didn't have a full family, I didn't have a complete family, but I want to start my family with you. Will you let me start my own family with you?" He looked into her eyes, reading the different expressions she made with her face. There was no sign of uncertainty. He saw realness, he saw strong affection.
"We can start our family, Darian." She nodded her head in affirmation.
"Thank you for choosing to stay by my side." He hugged her tightly, never letting go.
Lena smiled as she patted her back. She was happy he finally opened up to her, she was proud that she didn't let go of him, and she was glad she stayed with him.
"Do you have plans of finding your mother?" She asked him when he let go of her.
"No, I don't have such plans. If I meant something to her, she would never have given up on me so easily. I don't know if she's still alive or not, but I do not care and I think it's better we are strangers to each other." He responded, rising on his feet.
Lena didn't argue, she respected his decision.
"I will bring your food to the study."
"I want to work," he told her.
"You know I don't care about that. I will bring your food and you must eat." She said in an authoritative tone.
Darian smiled, "How about I eat before going to the study?" He pulled her into his arms and kissed her cheeks.
"That's perfect, but I will still disturb you in the study." She laughed.
"I know, you always miss me so much." He teased her.
"That's not true, I have some things to do there too. Unfinished business," she muttered. "You don't have to know what it is." She rolled her tongue at him.
"I haven't met your friend, the one you always talk about." He said as they walked out of the room together.
"Lisa? You will meet her soon." She was excited he wanted to meet her friend.
She loved this new side of him, and she might as well be falling in love with this man.