Methis Delis POV
Matchdays were loud. It was the loudest thing you could ever imagine. Think of sitting at a club far away from the dance floor in the exact spot the speaker stood and it was blasting on 200 Percent volume directly in your ears. Whatever noise you must have imagined it's probably half of what these fans were making here. And the game had not even begun.
Maybe I was exaggerating it because Xander seemed to love it but for someone who has, all her life, abstained from noise, this was too plenty. It was more than torture.
The day before when I and Xander arrived at the stadium, we had to go to the training camp where all the players were training for the game they had at hand. There we did what of expected of us and did a bunch of interviews with a lot of the players and the members of the coaching staff. We even interviewed some dedicated fans who had come out to watch the training. While we spoke to the fans, all I could think of was how someone in their right senses would leave their homes and make this stressful walk to the stadium from the bus stop just to watch their team train to know that they were going to repeat the exact same pain the very next day, however, I refrained myself from speaking that thought out loud. It could negatively impact both my and Xander's scores.
Now once again we were at the stadium on a sunny afternoon, setting up our equipment in the press box of the stadium. Today we were charged with just a few roles. We were to take photographs from pitch side and once the game was over, ask fans questions on how the game went. Post-match player interrogation was saved for the real professionals as those interviews were live and shown directly to viewers on television meanwhile the ones we hosted were just, at most, posted on the club's social media platforms after editing.
As Xander and I worked, I tried to hide my exhaustion. I did not want him asking questions again. I had not slept very well the night before today and it was showing. I was yawning constantly and from a quick look in the mirror before leaving for school, I could tell that my eyes seemed distant and had an unusual red colour to them.
Last night was all about my thoughts. These thoughts have been haunting me ever since I glanced at that werewolf cartoon cover at the antique store. I had tried my very best to prevent myself from thinking about it but the more I spent another minute on this earth, the more the memories tried to creep back in.
My mind was now a dam that has been closed for far too long. The waters were banging at its concrete walls, wanting nothing more than to get out and rush out free, threatening with every bang to crack the walls. The only question was how long could the dam hold before it cracked? How long could my mind hold before it cracked? The memories have already begun to leak in from my secure imaginary walls and the longer I tried to keep them at bay, the more they negatively impacted my health. I was starting to lose sleep. Who could say that was only a begining of symptoms and worse were coming?
"Are you OK?" the first question finally came. Xander had noticed my mood. "You have been standing there with that mic in your hand for a long time. What is wrong?"
He had not noticed my mood, he had noticed my movement, or better still, my lack of movement.
I tried to conjure a smile but none was coming so I said what every girl said when asked that question. "Nothing, Xander," I replied.
Xander exhaled. I knew it before I said it that he was not going to take that answer for a conclusive answer. "Methis, you can't keep dying from the inside expecting to solve it on your own."
His words stung like a bee fighting for her queen. He did not have any clue what I was facing but somehow he was able to narrow my thinking to a few words. Maybe he was right. Maybe I could not solve this problem on my own and maybe trying so hard would just generate more problems for me.
I had to say something to keep him at bay even if it was just for a day till he figured that something else was disturbing me. "It's about Matchday." I lied.
"What about Matchday?" Xander asked. Seeing that he was a big fan of the club and I knew he looked forward to every Matchday, I was expecting him to laugh at my Matchday phobia, but he remained cool and his face remained serious. "Are you nervous?" He asked.
"Not really. I've never been to a stadium before. I fear the noise the fans make." I said.
"Of course." Xander smacks his head with his hand. "Why didn't I see that before." He placed his hands on both my cheeks. "There is nothing to worry about, Methis. They are just fans, they are humans like you and I. The only difference is that they are passionate about a club that you are reporting on. So if not for anything, these people love you." Xander stroked my cheek gently. Even though he was not speaking on the matter that was in my heart, it felt comforting to hear those words and feel his care. "So let your guard down. Let the emotions rush in and feel the scenery with the hundreds of people who have come to watch today. Come on, Methis, is that so hard to do? Maybe you need another complement." He laughed and I finally cracked a smile. It was not a fake one to get him to leave me alone, but a real one.
Xander walked off to attend to other things and gave me a wink on his way out. I sat down pondering on his last words. '...let your guard down. Let the emotions rush in..." Was that the wisest thing to do? Rather than fight it why not just let it flow in and see what happens?
It was fear that had kept me holed up this whole time in my head. It was fear that made me not think on it. I was falling ill the more I tried to stop thinking about it, but I was scared that if I thought about it worse things might happen.
I heard a whistle from the crowd and realised that the players had come unto the field of play.
It was time to do my work. It was time to pursue a career I converted for so long and had given up so much time for. It was time to be a journalist.
The city's team won and somehow I wished they had lost. Everytime the opposition tried our goal, the supporters yelled and when the keeper made a save, they cheered; when the official made an unfair call or their players were fouled, they yelled, and when their players made a brilliant tackle, they cheered. But none of it could compare to when the city players scored. The stadium erupted and all that divided me from the crowd was an electric fence not up to five feet high. It was all about the noise for these people.
The game ended in a score I don't even remember because all I was concerned about was taking pictures and getting out of that loud environment. At the end of the game, we submitted the photos we were able to capture for the newspapers and headed out to talk to fans. The fans were energetic from the win so it was rather pleasant speaking with them. Once that was over, I waited for Xander outside the stadium so we could make the long walk back to the bus stop from where we headed to school to check out on our days.
Back at school, I met with Sophia and she offered to see me home. We took a cab and chatted about how each other's day went. She was not into journalism so she had a very different story to tell on how the day went. All she did was sleep through most of her classes which I found hilarious.
Once inside my home, I propped myself onto my couch and watched as Sophia left for her home. It had been a long day and one I wanted to forget for the sake of all the noise the fans made.
As I sat on the couch, I found myself thinking of Xander. The thoughts soon faded as the crazy year before the last four years started to resurface in my head. I closed my eyes, but sleep came tugging at my eyelids. If I slept I'd dream, and I did not want to dream that dream that was coming.
I heard familiar voices in my head and a few scenes flashed in my head. I saw a castle, then a lush and we'll furnish room. Then I saw myself naked and a familiar man atop me.
"Stop!" I said out loud to myself. "Don't think."
Then another voice came to me. A more soothing one '...let your guard down. Let the emotions rush in...' so I closed my eyes to sleep and let the dream take me.