Louisa's POV
His voice was scratchy, but it felt like some sort of ancient dark magic chant.
I was bewitched.
When my vision was deprived, all my other senses became sensitive.
I couldn't believe what was happening to me.
I had never felt anything like this before.
The only sexual experience I got was the day when I was in the tent and was forced to touch myself in front of Alpha Lucas. It was nothing but torture and humiliation.
I thought I might secretly want to use Finn to get back at him, but it just didn't work like that.
"Tell me to stop... and I will," he whispered to my ear.
I melted in his words and gave up all my defense.
Even the slightest tremor from the tip of his fingers would ignite a sparkle of fire in me.
When those sparkles congregated, I was flooded by the electric wildfire of desire and lust.
I lifted my waist to get closer to him, yearning for his touch.
But at the same time, I was in tremendous fear.
"Finn, listen. Alpha Lucas might be around here somewhere. He's my mate. He wants to kill me." I said desperately, panting heavily.
"Let... him... watch..." Finn said, mounting himself on top of me and spreading my legs.
His words were enticing, almost playful.
I had always thought he would be a serious contemplating man, but it turned out that he was just like a naughty child.
I was petrified when his body weight was all over me.
For a brief moment, I thought that he was about to crush me into pieces.
The volcano inside of me eventually erupted.
I wanted this man. I knew that was what I wanted in my life.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him against me.
"What do you... want me to do?" he asked. My legs were rubbing against his, like vines wrapping around tree trunks.
"Get closer to me," I whispered.
Get one more inch closer, until we become one. I thought to myself.
These words were burning in my mind and melted in my mouth.
I moaned when he pressed himself into me.
Then, I turned my head away and bit my lips.
"Does it... hurt?" he said.
I nodded.
"Do you want me... to stop?" he asked.
I shook my head.
He moved his hips and pushed it all in.
I groaned in pain. But before I could make a sound, my mouth had already been sealed by his.
A gentle kiss of a beloved man worth more than millions of words. I felt that he knew everything about what I had wanted in my life. I burst into tears of joy because I eventually got what was begging for on thousands of sleepless nights.
I was making love with a man who treats me as his equal counterpart.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and held him tightly in my arms. Feeling overwhelmed, I was lost in the waves of organisms. I was lifted up and put down, flipped and flapped, rolled into a ball, and then unwrapped. Eventually, all the pain and stress that was hidden in me for years were all gone. I felt that I was beating against the current, rowing ceaselessly into an ocean of ecstasy.
Uma used to tell me that, when a man is making love to a woman, it feels like lightning strikes the ground over and over again. The land is hurt and burnt, but it becomes fertile after the wildfire dies out.
That was exactly what I felt on that day while we were making love.
I couldn't stop thinking of Uma in a semi-conscious state.
Finn was a very experienced lover.
Did he use to kiss Uma like what he was doing to me?
Did he use to hold her like this?
I felt struggled and ashamed when these thoughts hit my mind.
But at the same time, I just couldn't stop myself from wanting him to stay inside of me for a little while longer, which made me feel even more conflicted.
What happened to me?
The moment my best friend passed away, I started having sex with her husband.
I felt so morally wrong and physically inflicted.
"What... happened?" He noticed my change of demeanor and asked.
"Nothing," I said and kissed him, "I love you, Finn."
"My face was burnt... I am ugly..." he said.
"I love you regardless of your appearance," I said.
"I have...nothing," he said.
"Now you have me," I said, holding his arms in my hands.
He was silent for a while. Then, his weight was gone from my body.
As I was wondering, I felt something warm and soft licking the tears from my face.
I removed the cloth covering my eyes and saw that Finn had already shifted into a wolf, sitting in front of me.
He tilted his head while looking at me.
Then, he cracked a big smile on his face.
I put on my blouse and rubbed his ears.
He lay down and put his giant over his paws.
I got on his back and lay on my stomach.
My legs and hands were souring. I couldn't even move.
"Do you love me, Finn?" I rubbed my face gently against his fur and asked.
"Love isn't the right word... for my feelings towards you... It's too... weak," he said.
I felt flattered and buried my face in his back.
"You're mine and... we... are... one," he said, walking towards our cottage.
I melted.
We are one.
It was exactly the words I was eager to tell him, but it just would sound too desperate coming from my mouth.
Now, I got the feeling that I said those words through his mouth.
It felt like the connection between us had already been there for thousands of years.
"I wish you were my mate," I whispered.
"Mating is... just a ritual. True love is... the bond," he replied.
"May I hold you like this for the rest of my life?" I asked, wrapping my arms and legs around him.
"Yes," he said.
"How about like this?" I asked, shifting myself a bit on the back.
"Yes," he said.
"How about like this?" I moved a bit forward and held him more tightly.
"Yes," he said.
I felt so happy and laughed on his back out loud.
It seemed that he never got bored while playing this stupid little game with me.
You don't really understand love unless you know why a woman will ask her lover a string of senseless questions every time she feels loved, and why her lover will always patiently reply.