Louisa's POV
When the soldier jumped at me, I tried to kick him in his loins, but I failed.
He grabbed my legs and pulled me violently towards him.
"Fucking bitch! Let me teach you how to serve a man!" He said and pressed me against the floor. I was lying on my stomach and waving my hands desperately.
I tried to press myself up, but his body weight was all on me.
I couldn't even move a bit.
Finally, I took out the comb Colt gave me and wanted to press the button, but it was slapped off my hand.
"Don't move, whore! If you dare to make a sound, I'll fucking kill you!" The soldier grabbed my head and pulled out a knife behind my neck.
The cold and hard blade was pressed against the skin so hard that blood started to get out of the wound.
The soldier peeled off my clothes and said, "Do whatever I tell you to do before I cut off your head!"
I closed my eyes.
Help me! Please! I thought to myself.
"No one can help you except yourself." I heard my wolf's voice in my mind.
Finally. She started to talk to me.
"I can't... I can't fight him. He's too strong and..."
"He's strong. But he isn't as strong as the hog. You've killed a hog," she said.
"I blanked out at that time. I didn't know what I was doing..."
"Knock his head and take his knife. He wouldn't expect you to do that. You've got only one shot," she said.
I used all my efforts to press myself up abruptly. The knife on my neck slashed my throat open and the handle of the knife knocked bluntly at the soldier's nose.
"Ah!" I heard his scream.
The weight on my body was suddenly lifted.
I quickly rolled to the side.
Blood was spouting from my neck, but I was too panicked to feel any pain.
The soldier bent down, covering his bleeding nose.
I saw his knife dropping on the floor, so I took it up.
"You fucking crazy bi..."
He didn't finish his sentence, because I stabbed the knife behind his neck, just like the time I stabbed my dagger into a hog's head.
His eyes were popping out like they were about to get out of their sockets. He stretched out his hands as if he was trying to get hold of me.
I twisted the knife and pulled it out. The soldier fell to the floor like a deflated balloon.
The carriage door was pushed open.
Two soldiers popped up.
"What the fuck...That fucking bitch killed him!"
"Her neck was cut! She's bleeding... and her wound is healing! That fucking skinny bitch's a freak!"
I lowered my head and saw blood stop getting out of my neck.
I used my hand to touch my throat and felt the wound closing itself.
"Well done, she-wolf. You've made it." My wolf's voice appeared in my mind. She sounded very proud of me.
I held the knife in front of my chest and said, "Don't come any closer. I'll kill both of you."
My hands were trembling, which made my warning less effective.
The two soldiers looked at the body in front of me and freaked out.
"When Lucian finds out about this, we'll be dead," one of them said.
"I don't want to die," the other wailed.
I lowered my voice and tried to sound as intimidating as I could, "Run. Before I kill both of you."
Two of them were frightened out of their wits and immediately disappeared behind the carriage door.
When they were gone, I threw the knife on the floor.
I was sickened by the scene in the carriage and wanted to get out, but I couldn't feel my legs.
I kneeled on the floor and started to retch.
"Why do they have to do things like this to me? Why can't they just leave me alone? I didn't want to kill that man..." I thought with disgust of myself.
"You don't have to be so sad. He got what he deserved. Killing is the basic principle rule of the jungle. Whoever is the strongest survives."
"I don't want this! I don't want to live in a jungle! I want to live in that cottage with all my friends! I'm not a beast..."
She said, "You're a werewolf. Wherever you go, bloodshed follows. That's your destiny. You are either subject to the rules of the jungle or get consumed by it. The sooner you face it, the earlier you get stronger. Your mate sorted this out when he was a little boy. Look how quickly he has climbed up the ladder from the bottom rung and how powerful and strong he is now. You can be like him, you know."
I argued, "I don't want to be like him! Powerful and strong as he is, he's still just a self-loathing bastard lingering with his last breath in a swirl of hatred and despair. He drags whoever is around with him and watches them drown! He wants to pull me down this time. I won't let them get what he wants. There's something larger than life, lassie. He can beat me, chain me up and torture me, but I'll never yield to a savage tyrant like him."
"The more you struggle, the more excited and stronger he will become. Wolves like him are top predators. They thrive on the process and pleasure coming from domination and destruction. You can't fight him, because he's inevitable."
"Nothing is inevitable in this world except love," I said.
"He is your love, your destiny. One day and that day may never come, you'll be strong enough to fight your love, but you can't fight your destiny," she said.
I was silent for a while. Then, I noticed Colt's comb lying at the side of the body.
I bent down and took it up.
Then, exhausted, I fell to the floor.
I wiped the blood smear on my face and said to the void, "I admit that Lucas and I are connected by the Moon Goddess and our lives are entangled with each other, whether I like it or not. Despite all these, we still walk our own separate paths. He walks his own way, I walk mine. No matter how hard he tries to pull me towards him by his dark gravity, no matter how hard he tries to manipulate, threaten, or dominate me, my life is still all about love, not hatred. That's why one day when our paths collide, there'll be no way out of it. It's either his way or my way."