Lucas' POV
"What the fuck will she do?! Will she kill me?! Is that what she's going to do?! Fuck!"
Fury consumed me and made me a fucking lunatic.
I basically crushed everything in the tent and killed everyone in my sight.
It was a mess.
"Boo-hoo. My first love broke my heart for the first time." My wolf's fucking voice started to echo in my mind.
"Don't even fucking start with me now, Finn!"
I paced back and forth in the mess, kicking everything that was in my way.
Lucian walked into my tent, dodging a flying saucer, which smashed on the floor outside the tent.
Lucian stood at the entrance of my tent. He had already changed into his white diplomatic suit and cape because we were about to meet up with the King's envoy in about 15 minutes.
And I was wearing nothing except a fucking bloody shirt and layers of rage and fury.
Lucian looked at the piles of bodies in my tent and said, "Luke, we're running out of service maids."
"What the fuck did you just say?!" I yelled.
His lips were sealed and he looked at me patiently.
Fuck. He's pulling that look again.
"Don't look at me like that! And don't give another lecture about not killing random people today! I'm fucking furious right now and I want to..."
Lucian sighed and said, "Look, if this mating thing bothers you so much, let's just kill that she-wolf, once and for all. The Moon Goddess will assign you another mate. A more qualified and obedient one. It hurts to see you being physically and mentally tortured like this, Luke."
Well, that was new. The fucking prince finally gave up his unrealistic hope to change me into a better person and face the reality.
Fuck. Everyone flips shit because of this fucking she-wolf.
"She's thinking about killing me because of that fucking low-bred warlock! Nobody dares to kill me..." I growled like a fucking mad dog.
"Everyone tries to kill you, but they either die or give up," Lucian shrugged and said, "You never give up on anything. She doesn't come across as a girl who gives up. So either you or she dies. I can't afford to lose you, Luke. So that only leaves us one solution."
"I can't fucking kill her! She's my fucking mate! And she can't tell me her name because she doesn't even know it! I can't fucking reject and kill her! What kind of fucking idiot doesn't know their names?! Why does this have to be this hard?!"
I ripped off my bloody shirt and threw it on the floor.
Lucian took another set of suits from the wardrobe and said in a calm voice, "My details came back this morning from the Defiant Pack and they told me that Alpha Jacob, the she-wolf's father, is still alive. I'm going to send someone to take him back to us, and we'll ask him. I don't care what kind of tragedies happened in her family of origin, a father always knows his daughter's name."
"Really?! Let's do it! Let's do it now! Let's bring that mother fucker back and fucking interrogate him. I'll pull out his intestines and wrap them around his neck and..."
"You've promised to me that you'll never pull out anyone's internal organs ever again. It's very hard to get rid of the awful smell and especially since we're seriously understaffed now," Lucian said.
He waved his hands and soldiers came into my tent and cleaned up the mess.
I stood in front of the mirror and let Lucian dress me up.
I felt much more relieved now to have this personal crisis solved.
"You know, I almost blame you because you fucking talked me into this fucking freaking fanatical farce," I said as he helped me to tie up the buttons on my jacket.
Lucian organized my collar and said, "Love is not a farce. It's the most wonderful thing in the world. That's why I want you to have it. I thought to myself at that time that you would learn how to love others and to be loved. I couldn't have been more wrong."
"Are you disappointed in me?" I frowned.
"Why?"
"Because, you know, I don't have the capacity to love anyone," I grumbled.
Lucian didn't say anything. He pulled out a belt and wrapped it around my waist.
What now? Since when did he pick up Finn's bad attitude and start to throw this fucking passive-aggressive shit at me?
I became irritated.
"Everyone. Get out of my tent. Now." I commanded those soldiers.
They disappeared swiftly.
"I'm asking you a question." I looked at Lucian in the mirror.
"I don't have all the answers to your questions, Luke." Lucian tied up the belt and said.
"Answer me!" I grabbed his shoulders.
"What do you want me to say?" He asked.
"I want you to give me an answer to a very simple question! Are you disappointed in me?!"
Lucian looked at me in my eyes and said, "Luke, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have assumed that you were ready for this. I should have pushed you to accept that girl. I overestimated myself and underestimated her. So, to answer your question. I'm disappointed. But I'm disappointed in myself. Not you."
"Why do you always do things like this? What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why can't you accept me as who I am and always expect me to change, to become someone that I'm not...?!"
"Because otherwise, I'm going to lose you! And I can't afford to lose you!" Lucian finally lost his temper and raised his voice.
I was shocked.
He had never raised his voice in front of me.
I knew I must have crossed his line.
The thing was, I didn't even know where he drew his fucking line, but at that very moment, I knew I had to let him know very clearly about where I drew mine.
"Lucian, after all these years, after what we've been through together, you still don't get it, do you? My life has been a... a fucking tragedy entangled with an even worse misery. I used to be stuck at the bottom rung of the ladder, rotting like a fucking piece of trash in the dumping ground. But now I've fucking made it to the top. Fuck, I've sailed through it. Do you know my secret? I didn't make it because of fucking love. I made it because of madness. And you know what? People don't reason with a mad man. That's why I can fuck around and do basically everything I want all these years and people don't even give a fucking shit. I come and I rule. I kill a lot and punish a few. And when they don't move or sing or fucking dance as I expect, brother, I guarantee that my mad face is the last scary thing they see in their fucking life. So, Lucian, my brother, what makes you think that you can manipulate me and change me into a fucking doll with beady eyes before I embark on a one-way journey to self-destruction?"
Lucian kneeled down in front of me and said in a trembling voice, "Sorry, Alpha. I have no intention of crossing you."
I lowered my head and looked at him.
"You're like a surrogate family member to me, Lucian. Finn sometimes says you're like my mom and he's like my father. I find this analogy very entertaining. That's why I've been very tolerant of you. But don't mistake this tolerance for weakness or love. I'm stuck with Finn, but I can walk away from you at any time."
"Yes, Alpha Lucas," Lucian replied.
I walked out of the tent and said without looking back, "I loved that girl, Lucian, even for a brief moment in my life. If there's any consolation for you."