Estrella
Candace jerks in her seat. I look up from where I'm pacing the room to see a grin spread across her face.
"He's on his way," she says.
Tess, who long ago finished braiding the princess's hair, squeezes my hand. I don't need to ask who's coming. My heart thuds like a racing horse. Soon, Anwen will be here.
Nessa squeaks softly and draws her knees up to her chest. I still cannot look at her without my stomach threatening to turn inside out, but she is no longer the target of my rage. Most of it, at least. Shuffling her new stories together with her old creates a picture of a very lonely woman, convinced by a bitter, withered man to do awful things. Someday, I will forgive her. But not today.
The door bursts open, and Anwen and Baz dart inside. I throw myself into Anwen's arms before I can think twice about the show of affection. He wraps his arms around my waist and drops soft kisses on my hair.
"It's him," I hiss. "You were right about everything."
"I didn't kill him," he murmurs. "For you. But King Andri isn't going to be giving him another envoy detail any time soon."
His scent, his warmth surrounds me, and the slight to Floyd is the last anchor I need to tie me back to the earth. For the first time since Nessa arrived at my door, I can think clearly. Slowly, I release my mate.
"Have you told anyone else?" Anwen asks.
I shake my head. "Mother and Cristofer would struggle not to tell Castor, and Castor would charge off without a second's thought or an ounce of support."
"And Kieran said this was your investigation," Candace adds.
He nods. For a moment, silence reigns as we all consider that eight people in the whole world know of this plan, and two of those are its architects. I clench my fist and release it slowly, trying to bank the flames of my anger.
"We're going after the assassin, right?" Tess says. "Dorian."
Everyone turns to her. She stares back at us, unflinching, rage like I've never seen in her before bubbling in every inch of her posture.
"What about Floyd?" Baz asks. "He's the real problem."
"Going after him causes problems with Snowcrest," Candace says slowly.
"Maybe not anymore." Anwen snorts.
"I don't fucking care!" Tess shouts.
I dart to her side and put a hand on her heaving shoulders. I've never seen her like this at all.
'He wants you alone,' she says. 'What do you think that means for my father and I?' Her mental voice breaks. 'How much will he take from us?'
The realization hits me like a bolt of lightning. Nessa only mentioned Mother and Castor, and in the storm of emotion, I couldn't see any further. Floyd could intend to leave me well and truly alone.
"We go after Dorian first." I turn to Nessa. "Do you have any idea where he's staying?"
She shakes her head. "But I know the inns Father likes. I can help."
Anwen cracks his knuckles. "Thank the Goddess. I was worried we were going to need another involved political plan."
Baz grins hungrily. Candace stands. Tess crosses her arms, highlighting the muscles she's developed over the years. We cannot possibly leave without Castor-he might truly kill me-but solidity and certainty flood through me. I thought I was alone before Anwen arrived. I was surrounded all along by people who would help me save my family and my people.
I step to Anwen's side. "Merely allow me to"-my stomach drops-"change."
Horror dawns on Tess's face in unison. Candace takes a moment longer but catches on.
"What?" Anwen demands. "What am I missing?"
I run my hands down the simple gown with its wide, split sleeves. "I-we are dressed for my bridal party."
His pain curls in my chest. "Which you can't miss because every kingdom is sending a delegate. Because we told them it was too important to miss."
"It would cause an international incident that could ripple for centuries." My wolf screams. I am so close to justice, to peace, and something as foolish as a party stands in my way! "If I weren't Luna-"
"But you are." Anwen grabs me by the shoulders and kisses my forehead. "A damn good Luna, too. Which means you know that leadership is about delegating."
I stare up into his blue eyes and wonder how I ever could've found them cold. They have all the warmth of an oasis at noon, the sun's rays trapped below the surface of the water.
"I love you." I drop a kiss on his lips. "And, Goddess forgive me, I trust you. But you must take Castor."
Anwen grimaces. "Will do. The rest of the women should stay here with you."
Tess makes a disdainful noise.
"I can't leave her unprotected," he tells her.
I twist and watch my best friend soften. A small part of me wants to deny that I need any protection, but I've grown all too tired of loneliness. I will take company, even if I'm certain I could fight off a single wolf on my own.
"Me too?" Nessa asks.
"Make a list," I reply before Anwen can say something to irritate her. "The inns your father prefers. Anything else, and he may notice something has changed."
She nods. Tess scurries off to get her a piece of paper, and Anwen dips me in a deep kiss. Baz hoots childishly.
"I love you too," Anwen says. "I'll keep your family safe."
"I know you will." I simply need to convince my nerves of the same.
***
A scant fifteen minutes later, Tess, Candace, Nessa, and I parade into the solarium set aside for my bridal shower. This, like everything else, is a combination of Dun's Crossing traditions and Sundrop ones. At home, this event would take place the day before the wedding and would mostly be comprised of my loved ones painting the temporary star maps on my body that Bright's embroidery mimics. Here, this should be occurring both the day we became engaged and the morning of the wedding itself. The first, apparently, includes a slew of presents and a few games, and the second, an evaluation of the dress itself. Today's event-which I was looking forward to this morning-combines the games, a bit of painting on the hands alone, to be washed off later, and the final dress fitting.
After Nessa's confession, I cannot imagine anything I'd less like to do.
Still, I walk in with my head held high. The solarium's glass walls nearly bulge with how many women are gathered within, and any concern I had about using the room as we near winter disappears.
"We were waiting for you!" Queen Raven sweeps up to us and wraps me in a hug, then leans in close to whisper, "Is everything all right?"
"Behaving normally is paramount," I reply. "Ask Candace across mind-link, if you must, but trust all will be explained soon."
"I trust you." She releases me with a wide smile that gives no indication of the conversation we just had. Queen Raven is a political operator to be contended with, I cannot forget.
"Come on, ladies. Let's get started!" She claps her hands.
I am spun into a whirlwind of wedding activities. The game is foolish, just a series of questions to prove how well I know Anwen, with answers procured from him ahead of time. Queen Raven visibly-to my eye-changes the answers a few times in order to make mine correct, which I refuse to take personally. I know what truly matters. Anwen and I have a lifetime to learn each other's favorite foods or colors. And I am distracted. Castor informed me Anwen had come to him and that they were leaving, but I haven't heard a word from him since.
The presents are somehow more foolish, a parade of nonsense luxuries, half of which cannot even be used in Sundrop Gem's desert. My smile strains at the edges. At least tearing into the flamboyant packaging gives me something to destroy.
Finally, the horde of strangers staring at me are given pots of sacred paint to, humiliatingly, doodle upon each other while I change into my wedding gown for the final fitting. I step behind the wooden divider, where a sullen Bright waits with two other seamstresses. They slip the dress over my head then begin folding the few final panels into place. I close my eyes and let them fuss.
Bright nudges me. "Time for the show."
I take a deep breath and step out onto a small, raised platform in front of a full-length mirror. Gasps and soft, pleased noises echo off the glass walls. I have a moment to myself while Bright and her team make their final adjustment, just staring into the mirror. Anwen's voice echoes in my mind.
I'd take the holy woman out somewhere. Maybe that oasis back in Sundrop. And I'd speak our vows where only the Goddess could see us.
The dress is a perfect compromise. It is exactly what the Luna should choose. And in that moment, I hate it.
Pain tears through me. A thousand tiny points and one sucking hole in my chest. Anwen's pain.