I knew what he was going to do. But I didn’t find the courage and strength to stop him from doing it.
I’ve kissed some guys for fun before and I’ve felt nothing. It would be over soon, I knew. Kisses are overrated, remember? Just close your eyes, wait for those rough lips to land on yours and count one to ten. Imagine playing drums in front of a huge crowd. You feel nervous, you don’t know what to expect, but it will be over soon enough. You’ll make it through without throwing up in front of your audience.
I heard Nick’s deep sigh. I smelled his fresh aftershave, and I felt the heat radiating from his skin. I smelled his minty breath and then I felt his lips on mine. His lips weren’t rough; they felt like velvet. And then suddenly…
Fireworks!
My nerves felt like exploding as his lips gently brushed against mine. I felt the spark that started from my veins, shooting electricity throughout my whole body. It charged me, sending me to depths I have never been in before and keeping me on fire.
When I recovered from that frozen trance, my lips came alive and started moving along with his. Encouraged by my response, he deepened the kiss. I felt his hands on my neck as he gently pulled me closer while his body pushed both of us further into the bed. My own arms came to life as they rested upon the hard muscles of Nick’s chest.
His tongue teased me, tracing my lips gently before he dove in to explore the deeper realms of my soul.
His lips left mine and I felt them against my jaw and traveled to the base of my neck. I heard a moan and I realized it was mine. When he wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me even closer, I responded by putting my arms around his neck. His lips found mine again and I got lost in the new heights where he had taken me, and I knew I never, ever wanted to be found.
I have never felt like this before. A kiss had never been this unnerving—it had never been the death of me. It never brought my nerves to life. It had never made me want to fall deeper, go further, and get lost forever.
I felt him shift our bodies and then I felt his weight over me, pinning me between the mattress and his body. I knew I would be helpless to escape him. But at this moment, escape was the last thing in my mind. I wanted to feel him—more of him. I wanted him to feel more of me. I wanted both of us to drown in this ecstasy that I had never experienced before in my entire life—waves of emotions and a surge of frenzy I did not even think was possible for me.
I was overflowing with excitement and my body was emitting heat. Every inch of Nick’s skin that touched mine was sending me to heights I had never reached before. I felt this sense of urgency and suddenly, I wanted him to devour me, prey on me, and conquer me.
I felt his hands caress the side of my body, exploring parts of me that no one had ever touched before. Instead of feeling angry, aggravated, or taken advantage of, I was on the verge of screaming for him to do more.
His weight held me prisoner against the mattress. His hand cupped the right cheek of my butt and I felt his gentle squeeze. Then his hand traveled lower and pulled my thigh up as he eased himself closer to my body. I lost my breath. I felt heat coming from inside of me screaming for something I could not understand.
Nick’s kisses traveled from my lips to my jaw and then to the base of my neck. I shivered. I heard a hoarse moan escape from my lips. I felt Nick’s heated hands travel up to my hips and then I felt his fingers go under my shirt, touching my skin, setting me ablaze.
“Nick…” I moaned.
His lips returned to mine and once again he consumed me with his kisses. His hands traveled higher and higher until I felt his fingers at the base of my bra. He stopped as if he was waiting for me to protest. I didn’t. And I knew I wouldn’t. And no protest could only mean one thing—permission.
I waited for him to go higher, to take me to higher levels of ecstasy I have yet to discover. I kissed him as hungrily as he was kissing me. I waited. But instead of going further, he stopped.
He gently pulled his head back and he stared at me with eyes laced with passion, drunk in desire. I blinked back, confused about why it suddenly ended. He leaned forward and gave me one chaste kiss on the lips and then he smiled at me gently.
“That was amazing,” he whispered.
I could not lie about that, I couldn’t even attempt a denial, so I nodded in agreement. “It was.”
He took a deep breath. “I don’t know how we can undo that. And honestly, I don’t want to.”
I just smiled shyly at him. I knew I was blushing like hell.
“You’re very beautiful, Mackenzie. And as much as I want to stay here all night, making out with you, there is something I would like to do first.”
He pulled away from me and then he stood up from the bed, leaving me lying on the mattress, staring back at him with a confused expression on my face.
“Is something wrong?” I asked nervously, sitting up on the bed. I could count my experience with kissing on one hand, and I couldn’t blame him if he didn’t find that as enjoyable as I did.
He saw the worried expression on my face and he quickly kneeled down in front of me, shaking his head. “No, no. Nothing’s wrong. Everything is surreal. But I want to do this right.”
I raised a brow at him. “What do you mean?”
Before responding, he held his hand out to me. He had a boyish grin on his face when he asked, “Mackenzie Belle, will you go out on a date with me?”
Wait!
What?
I blinked back at Nick. I repeated what he said in my head, still unable to believe that he said what I thought he said, and I heard what I thought I heard.
He was asking me out? On a date? Seriously? I haven’t even worn my new clothes yet!
Did that mean he likes me, too? Even with my quirks, my weirdness, my androgynous fashion and my tomboyish ways?
Nick looked at me with narrowed eyes. Suddenly, he didn’t look so confident anymore. Instead, the expression on his face was sheepish, uncertain, and vulnerable. He looked worried that I would say no.
“Kitten?” he whispered. “You’re making me nervous.”
I widened my eyes at him. “Nicholas Atkins? Nervous about asking a girl out?”
He shrugged. “You have a way of making a guy feel unsure of himself.”
“You’re seriously asking me out? On a date?”
He nodded. “And I seriously want you to say yes.”
“Now?” I asked.
“Now, kitten,” he replied. Then he smiled at me pleadingly. “Please?”
I smiled at him shyly, still unable to believe that he was in front of me, asking me out. It looked as if he’d been waiting to do that for some time now, and he couldn’t believe he finally found the courage to go for it.
I looked into his eyes and said, “Yes.” And that was when I realized that I had been waiting for this moment for some time now, too.
Nicholas pulled me up to my feet. Then he wrapped both his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. He looked at me with smiling eyes and said, “I’ll meet you downstairs in thirty minutes. Don’t bail out on me.”
I looked up at him, trying to contain my hammering pulse and the butterflies going wild inside my stomach. I was pretty sure I would croak if I ever said another word so I just nodded.
He looked into my eyes and heaved a contented sigh. Then he leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. When he finally released me, I almost fell out of balance on the mattress. I realized then that while the pounding of my heart was so strong, my knees were at their weakest; they could barely hold my weight.
When Nick closed the door behind him, I ran to the bathroom to take a quick shower. My brain was suddenly racing with thoughts of what I would wear. How do you go out on a date with a boy? How does he want you to look? What would he consider nice? Do I wear makeup? Shit! I don’t even know how to use lip gloss!
After I showered and dried my hair, I went through the closet for the new clothes I bought with Terry. Now would be a good time to start wearing them. I checked the time: ten minutes had already passed. I only have twenty minutes and I have no idea what to wear!
I dialed Terry’s number.
“Help me!” I told her in a voice heavy with frustration and panic.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. I could tell she was suddenly flustered and nervous. “Are you okay? Where are you?”
“I’m okay. I’m at home. But I need your help!”
“What? What did Nick Atkins do to you? Shall I call for an arrest?”
She sounded more panicked than I was. “Gee, Terry, paranoid much?”
Hearing that my voice was now calm and steady, she relaxed a bit. “Well, you probably do not know. Ken Clarke doesn’t ask for help much. So when she does, it must be a matter of life and death.”
She was right. I never liked to ask people for any favor at all. In fact, I think it wasn’t that. I just didn’t like people at all regardless of whether I needed a favor or not.
“I guess this is sort of a matter of life and death.”
“Why, what’s up? Did Nick do something to you?”
“Well, yeah. He asked me out.” Silence. Deafening silence on the other line, I thought the line went dead. “Terry?” I asked.
Suddenly, there was a loud, sharp squeal on the other end of the line, followed by, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!”
Damn! I thought she just gave me a glimpse of how she was when she was having orgasms and I wasn’t interested in her sex life!
“Terry! Pull yourself together!” I hissed angrily.
“Okay, okay. Did he say where?”
“No. I don’t think he planned it. He just blurted it out right after…” I trailed off, not meaning to tell her the details of my first kiss with Nick.
“Right after what?” she persisted.
I sighed. “Right after he kissed me.”
Silence.
Followed by orgasm screams that sounded like ‘oh my god.’
That’s it! I ended the call and threw my phone on the bed. Terry was useful when you didn’t want her to help out and totally useless when you called her for help!
I took a deep breath to calm myself and then I stared at my new clothes in the cabinet. I could do this myself.
My phone rang about a dozen times—doubtless that it was Terry, but I could do this myself.
Finally, I settled on a pair of denim pants that ended a few inches above my ankles, a blue, sleeveless, long, button-down shirt with a matching brown leather string belt, and navy blue slip-on sneakers.
I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought I looked nice and casual. Not feminine but not tomboyish either. Just a simple ensemble that still reflected my own style.
I took a deep breath before I opened the door and went down the stairs.
Nick was nowhere in sight.