I found the strength to step forward and slowly approach him.
“Nick…” I whispered.
He turned his head slightly, acknowledging my presence. After a few seconds, I heard him take a deep breath before turning around to face me. He looked at me from head to toe, taking in my appearance and suddenly, I felt self-conscious wearing the nightie.
He took in another deep breath and said, “They cheated on me.”
I took a moment to decipher what he was saying.
“Margot and Simon,” he continued. “We were best friends even before Margot and I started dating. And even when she and I were together, we were still the best of friends. They were two people I completely trusted. I loved them both. Simon was like a brother to me. I think I even valued him more than I did Blaze at that time. I loved Margot as a friend before we decided to try being more than that. Nothing changed much except that Margot and I were a couple. And then I found them in bed together, naked and completely going at it. They couldn’t paint the picture as something else when they realized I was standing at the door.”
He took a step toward me. “You were right about one thing. I still have strong feelings for Margot. But it’s not what you think, kitten. It wasn’t because I was heartbroken. I was for a while. But I’m completely over it now. I have been over it before I met you. I even realized it was a stupid idea for us to try being a couple when we were so much better off as good friends.
“But yes, I was angry at her and I don’t think I will stop being angry for a very long time. And it was not because I still loved her. I was mad because I was betrayed by the two people I trusted more than anyone. I loved them like I did my family. I would have been happy for them if they just told me they were falling for each other before they slept with each other behind my back. I would have wanted them to be happy.
“When I was with Margot, I thought we were good together and the relationship was comfortable. There was no adjustment from being best friends to being lovers. I thought that was what relationships were all about. But when I saw her in bed with Simon, I realized what we were missing in the five years we were together.”
He took a deep breath and then looked at me with fire in his eyes. He said, “Passion. I realized we didn’t really have that. We were with each other, and it was safe, and comfortable. We could go for weeks without sleeping together and I didn’t even have to take cold showers to calm myself down. We never slept a full night beside each other, and we were just fine. I had always been more comfortable sleeping alone. It was my first relationship, and I’ve loved her as a friend for a long time. When we first slept with each other and didn’t feel awkward about it and she suggested we try dating, I thought, why not? Was I in love with her? I thought I was until…” He paused for a long moment and then he took another step toward me until he was close enough that I could almost feel the heat emanating from his skin. “Until I met you. It was completely different with you. You got under my skin the very first moment I laid eyes on you. I suddenly felt this powerful need to unravel you, protect you, care for you, and possess you. The very first moment you spent the night in my bed, I couldn’t wait to have you in it again. I wanted you close to me, sleeping beside me. It didn’t matter that we weren’t making love, although I prefer that we were.
“I wasn’t a jealous guy before. I never cared if Margot was speaking to other guys. I never felt threatened when she spent so much time alone with Simon. I didn’t care. But with you, I could go insane with jealousy just at the sight of another guy standing two feet away from you, even though that guy was my brother, who was the only guy in the world who would never betray me.”
I listened to him, listened to the words that I knew he was speaking from the heart, heard the things I knew came from his soul. For the life of me, I could not open my mouth to say something. I did not dare interrupt him, although, right at this moment, I wanted to lunge forward, kiss him, and tell him that if Blaze was the only guy in the world he knew would not betray him, I was the only girl who wouldn’t dare cheat on him. I would never do what Margot did to him.
He gently reached forward to push a lock of stray hair away from my face. Then he said, “You’re wrong, kitten. I don’t hate Margot because I haven’t moved on from her. I don’t care that she’s no longer with me, don’t give a damn if she’s with somebody else. But what I could not forgive was what she and Simon did behind my back. And barging into my family’s house and acting as if she didn’t cheat on me at all and using my friends and my sister to get back together with me. Those things made her sink lower in my books when I thought she was already at the rock bottom of it.
“And then Simon showed up and hit on you. I questioned my own decisions in the past for letting them into my life in the first place.
“Now, it is not about betrayal anymore; it’s about respect. Those two did not have any respect for me at all, and I have lost whatever remaining respect I had for them.” He paused for a while and then he gave me a sheepish smile. “You see, kitten, I wasn’t perplexed because I was still in love with Margot. I was irritated because I could not believe I had a lapse of judgment when I thought I was in love with her. And you know, I’ve always thought I was a good judge of character.
“I didn’t tell anybody about what they did to me because somehow, I didn’t want our friends to think of them differently. What they did, they did to me. Our friends do not need to hate them on my behalf. But when Simon showed up and made a move on you, I lost it. I let him take Margot from me. But I don’t think I can stop myself from murdering him with my bare hands if he ever attempted the same with you. It’s different with you.”
He took my hand in his and placed it on his chest, close to where his heart is. “Margot may have broken my heart when she betrayed me with Simon, but you, you break my heart every time you walk out of the room, leaving me with the fear that you may never come back and I may never get to see you or hold you again. I loved Margot more as a friend than a girlfriend. But you, Mackenzie, I do not love you as a friend at all.” He paused for a while and at that moment, I was afraid I would faint any minute because it seemed as though I have stopped breathing for a long time. Nick released my hand and cupped my face between his palms. He took a deep breath and said, “I love you with every passion that a man could ever have for his woman. I have this constant need to protect you, hold you, and be close to you.
“I have never felt anything like this before. I may have loved Margot, but I was never in love with her the same way that I am so in love with you now. And I am so scared of fucking this up, of losing you. Now that I know what it should feel like to want and love someone so passionately, I do not know how to live without it anymore. And every day, I live with fear that you won’t love me back.
“I didn’t say these to you before because I didn’t want to go too fast and scare you off. But knowing that you doubt what you are to me, and how I feel for you, I know I have to say it. Now. I’m still scared that I may drive you away but you have to know. What you will do next is up to you and I will respect that, but I won’t let this night pass without you knowing how deeply I feel for you.” He took another deep breath and added, “I love you, Mackenzie Clarke. You may say that I loved Margot first, but you have to know that you are the love of my life. And I know it because I haven’t been insanely in love before. Not like this. Not with her.”
I stared up at him, looked into his eyes. I’ve known Nick to be a confident man. He’d been through a lot and he had survived life because of his smart brains, unusual skills, and charming personality. But right now, he looked like a man who was about to lose or gain everything. He knew he was taking a risk, but decided to bare his soul to me anyway.
We stood there in silence for a couple of minutes, just looking into each other’s eyes. I didn’t realize that I was crying until he reached up to wipe the tears on my cheeks with his fingers. Then he took a deep breath and said, “Say something, kitten. Anything.”
I bit my lips. I wanted to say a lot of things to him, but right now, only one thing would really matter. And if Nick bared his soul to me in a thousand words, I would bare mine with only five. So I said, “I love you too, Nick.”
Nick stared at me for a long moment, absorbing what I just said, probably repeating it in his head just to check if he really heard it right. I gave him a small smile before I tiptoed and kissed him gently on the lips.
When I pulled back, he had a big smile on his face. I said, “I’m not sure it’s the same way you love me but…”
He snatched me into his arms with a force that stopped me from talking. “It’s enough! Damn, it’s more than enough, kitten,” he said and then he pressed his lips on mine.