Great! Nick was nursing his broken heart when he laid eyes on me. Boom! Heartache gone. New adventure begins. Hello, rebound romance!
Then unexpectedly, he had to face the previous axis of his world again. I couldn’t blame him. I would have a torn look on my face too if this ever happened to me. And I was not sure whether I should feel sorry for myself or for him.
I took a step back. His eyes looked panicked and then he snatched me into his arms again. “No, no, kitten,” he said. “This does not change anything about what I feel for you. That chapter
of my life is totally over. It’s our time now. I should have told you about her sooner. And I’m sorry about that. But nothing changed. Margot and I didn’t end in good terms. I still loathe her. Nothing changed.”
That was the problem. I think it broke my heart hearing him say that he was still mad at her. Hatred and anger are very strong feelings. Like love. And sometimes, you hate your exes because you have not completely forgiven them, because you haven’t completely moved on from the pain.
Shit! This was the first time I ever applied psychology theories in my own life! Argh! Couldn’t I have picked a better time?
I took a deep breath and pulled away from him. “Nick, maybe the reason why you’re still mad at her, is because you haven’t completely moved on. You’ve been together for five years, that’s a lot to forget in just a year. Maybe you haven’t had closure.”
Nick took a step back and looked at me with narrowed eyes. “And what do you think I’m doing with you?”
I took a deep breath and whispered, “Bouncing back?”
I saw anger cross his face in an instant. “That’s how shallow you think we are? You think I’m just playing a game here? Is that why you introduced yourself as just my friend to them? You don’t think this is serious?”
I sighed. “I do. Or at least I did. And it was a shock for me to find out about Margot, to be honest.”
Nick fell silent for a moment. I wanted to be angry, but I knew Nick didn’t do this intentionally. I couldn’t bring myself to be mad at him. Instead, I felt just a little bit heartbroken and sad.
“I’m not blaming you, Nick. I’m not angry. You’ve been so good to me. You’re a good person, a good guy. I know you will never hurt me, not intentionally at least. But I saw a lot of remorse in her, and a lot of anger in you. Nick, you two still have strong feelings for each other. And I think, before you do something about us, you need to fix you and Margot first.”
Even if he looked calm, I could tell that he was getting livid. He couldn’t believe he was hearing those words from me. I stared at him nervously. He opened his mouth to say something but I stopped him.
“Don’t do anything. Sleep on this. We’re both tired. If you say something to me now, it would be out of strong emotions that you feel for me and for her. Clear your mind. It was a lot for you to take too. So don’t say anything until you’ve calmed down and thought about it clearly.” I reached up to touch his face with my fingers. “And I will still be here tomorrow. We’re friends, Nick. We will always be.”
As he stared at me, I could see his eyes clouding with tears, and he was trying to blink back the tears. Then he took a deep breath and asked, “Don’t you want to hear what I want to say to you right now?”
I nodded. “I do. Believe me, I do. But not yet. Not until you’ve had a long thought about it. At least sleep on it.”
He stared at me for a long moment, and then he heaved a frustrated sigh. He cupped my face between his palms. “Okay. But I guarantee you, what I wanna say to you now, will exactly be the same thing I will say to you tomorrow. A night’s sleep wouldn’t make a difference.”
I smiled at him, trying my best to make it look I was okay with it. But deep inside, I felt heavy, almost crushed.
He put a hand around my neck and took another labored breath. “Kitten, I…” he started, then he stopped, deciding not to continue. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. His lips lingered for a few seconds. Then he looked at me and said, “Go take a shower. I’ll take a shower in Blaze’s room.”
I nodded and turned away from him. Once I was alone, naked in the bathroom under the flowing water, I cried my heart out. I was tempted to just go and take the next flight back to the States, straight to Brett’s home. But I promised Nick that I would still be here tomorrow. I would still be his friend, no matter what he decided.
He said it was over a long time ago and this didn’t change anything between us. But I was selfish in nature. I wanted to be sure that Nick was no longer hung on Margot. Once we decided to be with each other, that would be it. I didn’t want him to be haunted by the ghosts of his past. I wanted him to be sure about me. I wanted no regrets and no turning back.
My eyes were a little swollen when I came out of the very long shower. Nick was already in bed, his back to me. If he was awake or asleep, I didn’t know for sure. He was tired too, and probably emotionally drained.
Margot’s presence in his house was quite a shocker for both of us. It completely threw us—me, at least—off-balance.
After I dried my hair, I lay down, turning my back to him. I closed my eyes and prayed for sleep to take me in its arms.
I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling thirsty. I turned to my side to find Nick lying on his stomach, his face turned to the other side. I tried to go back to sleep but after ten minutes, sleep had completely evaded me. I didn’t want to wake up Nick just so I could ask for a glass of water.
I put on a robe over my sleeveless shirt and shorts. I opened the door and slowly walked along the dark corridors and down the stairs. Most of the lights in the house were off now. It was already two in the morning.
I crept down the stairs, into the dining room and found the direction to the kitchen.
I found the huge side-by-side steel fridge. I opened it and scanned through the contents for a bottle of water. Finally, I found them on the bottom shelf. I picked up one plastic bottle and closed the fridge.
“Can’t sleep?” A figure appeared out of nowhere near the fridge.
I shrieked and dropped my bottle of water.
He was wearing a sleeveless tight white shirt and gray pajamas. His hair looked dark as midnight in the low light. Amusement was visible on his handsome face but he managed not to laugh at my reaction.
“Shit, you almost gave me a heart attack,” I said.
He chuckled and then he bent down to pick up my water bottle. Before handing it to me, he turned the cap to open it.
“Relax. I don’t bite,” Blaze said.
“Yeah, but you sure know how to sneak up on people.” I took the water bottle from him.
“One of my many talents,” he said, amusement all over his voice.
I took a sip of the water and stepped back from him. “Okay, good night.”
“Hey, wait,” I heard him call.
I turned around and raised a brow at him.
“Where’s Nick?”
“Upstairs. Sleeping.”
He walked over to the bar and sat on the stool.
“In his room?”
I nodded.
“And you’re staying there with him?” he asked again.
I nodded again.
His mouth curved into a smile and he shook his head. Like his sister’s reaction, he looked shocked, although he disguised it with amusement.
I couldn’t help asking, “Okay, what is the big deal?”
He stared at me for a moment and then he stood up from his seat to go over to the side counter to pour himself whiskey.
“Nothing. It’s just… not his thing.”
“What? Sharing? Nick is a pretty selfless guy,” I said.
“Sharing his room and his bed, to be precise,” Blaze said, leaning on the counter. He drank his whiskey and stared at me from the rim of the glass.
“I don’t think that’s true,” I said. Nick shared his room and his bed with me the very minute I needed it.
Blaze shook his head. “You don’t know my brother like I do. He didn’t sleepover at friends’ houses, didn’t hold slumber parties in his room. When he had to have a roommate in college, he came home more than he needed to. He was not comfortable sharing his personal space. Not even with his women.”
“Women?” Take note of the plural form!