“Seriously? It’s a lame event. I’ve got better things to do here. It’s not about her, man. I’m totally over it. And I wish her well… Nope… Actually, I don’t care… I’m done…” It was Nick, speaking to somebody on the phone. “You can’t blackmail me into agreeing to this! That’s not fair, man! Come on!” He sounded frustrated this time. Like the person on the other line said something he could not say no to, even if he didn’t like it.
I turned around and found him sitting on his reclining chair. His hair was in total dishevel, and he was wearing a pair of dark blue pajama pants and a white shirt.
I heard him take a deep breath. Then he said, “I’ll think about it. But trust me, if you’re cooking something in your head, it’s not going to work, man. That ship has sailed. Talk to you later.”
Nick stared in space for half a minute. He looked as if he was remembering something as if a part of his history just came back to punch him in the face. He took a deep breath and then he turned to me. When he saw that I was up, his expression immediately changed.
“Good morning,” he greeted, smiling at me brightly.
I smiled back at him and then I realized that I had just trespassed into the only part of the house that he hadn’t shared with me—his study. I immediately sat up in bed, my face turning reddish.
“Oh my god, Nick, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to use your… I didn’t mean to stay here...” I didn’t know how to compose my sentences again. This has happened to me frequently since I met Nicholas Atkins.
I thought he would be mad or at the very least, annoyed. But when I looked at him again, he was just staring at me—deeply, as if there was something on my face and he was trying to figure out what it was.
“Nick, I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep last night. I came down for tea and I thought I’d come here. The sofa bed was comfortable and I just drifted off. I meant to go back to the room…”
Nick still didn’t say anything and I was afraid that he was seething with anger, just trying his best to take control of his emotions. I still live under his charity and he’d already given up his room for the most part of our arrangement. And now, I slept in his study without asking for permission.
I felt really bad. I wasn’t usually this comfortable and at home in a place, and especially not with people. Even with Brett and his house, I was never at home, and sometimes, I still consider myself an outsider. “Are you going to say anything?” I asked when he continued to stare at me deeply.
The corner of his lip curved into a smile. Then he said, “Your hair suits you. You look…” he paused for about five seconds, and in that short span of time, my heart did about a dozen somersaults “…cute.”
Cute?
The word he used was not flattering but it was a far cry from calling me ‘little brother.’ At least he noticed the change in me.
“Th-thanks,” I stammered. “You’re not mad that I slept in your study?”
He raised a brow and his expression turned amused. “Why would I be mad? You live here, too. That means you can sleep anywhere you want.”
I smiled at him, relieved that he did not make a big deal out of it. But I still felt that I needed to make it up to him. “I mean it. I’m sorry. And in exchange for letting me gatecrash in your study, I’ll cook breakfast.”
His face immediately lit up and he reminded me of a little boy who had just been given a lollipop. It made me feel good because I could tell he genuinely liked my dishes.
Just then, as I was staring at his face, something caught my eye. I realized that he had a small bandage on the corner of his left eyebrow.
“What happened to you? Did you get into a fight?”
His hand went to his face and his fingers touched the bandaged wound. “This? It’s nothing. I was playing with the boys, and their fathers decided to join in. The game got serious and somebody accidentally hit me with his elbow after a fast break I was trying to stop. Then the game got rough.”
I raised a brow at him. “Did you get into a fight?” I asked again.
He shrugged. “Nothing we didn’t settle afterward. Don’t worry. I grew up with these people. They’ve been my friends since I was a teenager. Sometimes, we can’t help but try to kill each other, y’know? But we know we’ll kill for each other any day.”
“Are you sure you’re still welcome there? Because I promised a kid that I would teach him how to play drums. I can’t fulfill that promise if you’ve been banned there.”
He laughed. “Come on, kitten. I’ve been through worse. Now, you promised breakfast?” His smile was wide and he looked really happy. I couldn’t help but smile back at him.
We sat there for a while, smiling at each other, forgetting that we had spent the last couple of days avoiding each other. We spent two nights away from each other, and I forgot that he flirted with that bombshell at the bar. I forgot that I insulted him after that. As we sat there, it felt like us again. Nick and Ken.
No one knew we knew each other. But between us, we both knew that we shared some bond that only we could understand. I knew that I could trust him with my life now and that he’d always be there for me. Regardless of what I say about him, he knew that I see him for what he really is—a beautiful person with a warm heart, a good soul, and an unbreakable spirit.
I looked away from him, breaking that connection. I shyly stood up from the sofa bed and headed for the door. Just before I stepped out of his study, I turned back to him. He was leaning on the lazy boy, watching me curiously with an amused expression on his face.
“I’ll call you when breakfast is ready,” I said. Then I turned around, not waiting for him to reply.
I rushed upstairs to the bathroom to brush my teeth and splash water on my face. I needed to wake up. I needed to steady my pounding heart and calm my racing pulse. My face was red, as though I had a permanent blush that wouldn’t come off. My stomach felt as if it had a dozen butterflies flying inside, looking for an exit.
Damn it! How could Nicholas Atkins do this just by staring at me? He didn’t even have to open his mouth to say anything.
I went downstairs to cook breakfast. I decided to go for eggs with smoked salmon and French toast.
“Smells good,” Nick said from behind me.
“Want a taste?” I asked.
“Sure.”
I took a spoonful of the eggs with smoked salmon and was about to turn around but I felt Nick’s body behind mine. I froze into my place. I felt his hand over my hip and instantly felt electricity flowing from his palm to my body. When I looked up, I met his intense, smoldering gaze.
Damn it! Was he purposely trying to make me faint?
I raised the spoon toward him and he took a bite. He closed his eyes and savored the taste of my dish. I savored the feel of his body against mine and the look of heaven on his handsome face.
“Like it?” I asked.
He looked down at me for a second and then he whispered, “No, I do not like it at all! You call that food?” I was about to open my mouth to say something nasty when he added, “It’s not food, it’s a piece of heaven. I love…” he paused for a while, looking at me deeply. Then he added, “…it.”
His mouth curved into a crooked smile. I frowned. “Very funny.”
He laughed. “You should have seen your face.”
I turned back to the food I was preparing. I could still hear Nicholas chuckle behind my back. He was enjoying his little prank and I was getting irritated. I couldn’t help but elbow him, hitting him right on the stomach.
“Ouch!” he yelped and then he added, “Finally! Been waiting for that for ages!”
I turned back at him and raised a brow. “What?”
He moved away from me and leaned on the counter with a proud smirk on his face. He didn’t answer.
“What do you mean you’ve been waiting for that for ages?”
Instead of replying, he chuckled again. “Call me when it’s time for breakfast,” he said, then he walked away whistling a happy tune toward his study.
What the hell was that about?
***
After breakfast, I stayed up in the room to study for next week’s exam. I wasn’t sure about being a shrink but I was almost done with the course. It was far too late for me to quit now. So my plan was to graduate and then think about what I really wanted to do after college. If that career involved further study, then I work and study at the same time. If I was not meant to use my college degree in my chosen profession, so be it.
Sometimes, you realize too late how important your decisions were in the beginning. Right now, I was wishing I didn’t make Jen the center of all my decisions. I wished I had asked myself what I wanted to do with my life, with or without Jen, with or without my father.
At six o’clock, I decided to cook dinner. When I went downstairs, I found Nick standing by the kitchen counter with a box of first aid kit in front of him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. Just need to change the bandage.”
He had a mirror in front of him as he tore the old bandage away from the corner of his brow. The cut was small but a little deep.
“Here, let me,” I offered.
He didn’t protest. I poured the saline solution over a clean gauze and then I faced him. Since he was a lot taller than I was, I had to look up and raise my hand to pat the gauze over his eyebrow. Suddenly, I felt his hands on both sides of my hips. Then he gently lifted me up as if I weighed nothing at all. He settled me on the countertop.
“Thanks,” I murmured. Now, we were at eye level and it was more convenient for me to clean the cut. Nick stepped forward between the V of my legs and then he rested his hands over the counter on either side of me.
I dabbed the gauze over his wound, trying my damn best to prevent my hands from shaking noticeably. I was afraid I was on the brink of making a complete fool of myself!
I prevented myself from looking at Nick. I knew now that I would not be able to look into his beautiful eyes without fainting. He had that effect on me! I wouldn’t deny it anymore.
Finally, I managed to put a fresh plaster over his wound. “There, you’re done,” I said.
When I finally looked at him, I found that he was staring at my face intensely, as if he was studying every angle, every plane of my tiny face. His expression was fathomless, serious, seductive, and dangerous.
“Nick?” I felt out of breath.