Natalie
Present
I ended up telling Alaric the entire story of how I met Noah. He smiled and laughed during the whole story, not mad that I was talking about another man.
Alaric is a good person.
He understands that I'm still in love with Noah, but he told me he is willing to date me and see if I can learn to love someone else. I took him up on the offer and will see him later this week.
I think it will be good for me, even if the whole cheerleading squad inside my chest is cheering for Noah. And right now, I'm having a hard time not drooling over him.
"You're such a sweet girl," Noah tells Emma while holding her in his big, strong arms. He is wearing a smile that is melting my heart. "How about we take a nap while mama is working, huh? You're looking sleepy—yes, close those eyes."
I bite back a smile. Emma never falls asleep no matter how hard I try, but Noah has magic arms; Emma is oddly calm with him. It's a little out of character, or perhaps she can see that Noah is her dad?
My heart squeezes at that idea. I want to tell Noah that he is the dad, but he would never believe me.
How do I say it to his face anyway? I bet he got a crapload of women trying to pretend he is the father of their baby to milk him out of money. So if I wish to tell Noah the truth, I need proof somehow.
Or maybe I should just wait and hope his memories someday return while I keep Emma in his life? We might also become such good friends that he buys my story in the future.
"She really likes you." I look up from my desk, smiling. "Perhaps I will be the one paying you to babysit."
Noah smiles back at me while pacing the room slowly. Emma looks so tiny in his arms, tucked into her blanket. But she seems safe and comfortable, and that melts my heart.
It's strange, but I'm horny watching a big, strong man like Noah taking care of a baby. Am I getting old? It's just that... His arms are thick and tanned, and he is so careful with Emma. Gentle.
"I like babies," Noah tells me, peering down at Emma with a peaceful expression. "Once I find a woman I like, I want to have a big family, at least three kids. And it will be wonderful."
My heart pounds with pain, and Noah continues talking.
"We would jump on a private plane whenever we wanted and see the world together. One big happy family swimming in the ocean, grilling at sunset, and laughing at silly jokes. I want boisterous kids, who are allowed to just live and be happy," he faces me. "Chaotic."
I'm fighting tears again, yet I smile. "That sounds like a beautiful dream, Noah. I hope you find the right person to share it with."
"Yeah," Noah's lips curl higher. "I hope so too. I want to share my life with someone, but I will be picky," he winks at me. "Because after the kids are gone, and I'm wrinkly and old, I want to sit on the yacht together with someone who makes me laugh."
I stare down at the floor, unable to look at Noah as he places Emma in the stroller. My heart is breaking apart.
"That sounds beautiful," I say.
"Mhm," Noah faces me again, and a carefree smile on his lips. It shows his white teeth. "How did your date go?"
"His name is Alaric, and it went well," I say with jarring breaths. It hurts to breathe. "I will be meeting him again this weekend."
"That's good. You deserve to meet someone that makes you smile and feel at ease." Noah wipes invisible dust from his pants. "It's about time to leave the office. Are you ready to go home?"
Frustration builds within me, and I ignore his last question. "Yes, but I already met a person like that once before. It felt like the world was finally making sense, and then he was taken away from me."
Noah falls silent, blinking at me. "You mentioned him not being a part of your personal life anymore. Might I ask what happened?"
I meet his eyes, taking a deep breath. This is it; I can't pretend anymore. If you love someone, then you tell them. It's not good to bottle up emotions—I have to fight.
"A car accident happened," I say, aware of Noah's eyes widening the second those words are out of my mouth.
"Car accident?" Noah questions.
"Yes, a truck smashed into his car when he was on his way to the pharmacy for me..."
"What was he going to buy?"
My lips curl into a sad smile. "A pregnancy test."
Noah stares at me, lips parting and closing while my heart is pounding, racing faster than ever. I can't think, I can't breathe—my sole focus is on Noah's blue, blue eyes.
"I love this office. I thought you said it wasn't big? But wow, this place is more amazing than I expected!"
We both turn around when a tall woman enters the lobby. She turns around and smiles at us while taking in the furniture. It's not someone I recognize, but she is gorgeous, and when Noah turns to face me, I understand he is heading out on a date.
"This is Lexie," Noah says in a calm voice. Eyeing me thoughtfully with all light gone from his face. "I'm taking her out for dinner. Are you alright with locking the office by yourself?"
I snap back to reality and force a smile. It's hard to act like I wasn't talking about something important just seconds ago. But I do it without shedding a single tear.
"Of course," I say. "You two have fun."
"Thank you."
Noah keeps his eyes on me while walking up to Lexie and hooking his arm with hers. It takes me back to the day I first met him, and I avert my eyes, trying to ignore the burning ache in my chest.
I was on a date too, I tell myself. This might not be the end of the world—I understand that, yet it kills me to see Noah open his car door for Lexie. She smiles at him, and I can't help but wonder if they will go to the same restaurant where he took me.
Will Noah fall in love with someone else?
Probably.
And that realization makes me want to scream so loud that my lungs will explode.