Natalie
It's been three weeks since I moved in with Frank and his wife, Carmen. They are a lovely couple and have ensured that I will be given the apartment next to theirs tomorrow. They spoke to the landlord and recommended me, which paid off in my favor.
I'm incredibly grateful. I had to drop out of school recently, and now I have a part-time job at the mini-marker until the baby comes. Oh, and I'm pregnant. Twenty years old and soon a mother of one.
It's scary, and I'm still freaked out about how life can take a turn, but I'm trying my hardest to stay brave.
Frank walks into the living room. He has just come home from work; he works at the mini-market with me.
"So... I have both good and bad news." Frank drawls.
I'm drinking tea with Carmen, and I lift my eyes to face Frank. He is wearing a hard-to-read expression. Their living room is cramped, and he slouches down in one old armchair.
"What's up?" I ask.
"Yeah, Frank, you can't just come in and say something like that; tell us what is happening!"
"Well..." Frank leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. His wrinkly face is now the picture of misery. He parts his lips. "My friend, who is spying on the Parker family, told me Noah woke up, but..."
Happiness spirals inside me until I hear the word "but," and just like that, the little joy is ripped out of my chest.
What is wrong with Noah?
Did he suffer a severe injury?
Are all his body parts intact?
"But?" I ask, terrified of hearing the answer.
"Something bad happened to Noah... I'm not sure how to tell you this without breaking your heart."
"You're not protecting me by keeping it to yourself," I tell Frank. "You have to tell me, even if it will hurt me."
"She is right, Frank," Carmen says. "You have to tell her."
He sighs in defeat. "Noah is suffering from Retrograde Amnesia—he doesn't remember anyone from the past two years. Not his new team members, his recent girlfriends, or the games he has won. Noah is fully functional, but it's like the past two years didn't happen..."
My heart plummets to the ground.
This wasn't what I expected out of all things that could have happened. This is so much worse than Noah losing a leg or an arm. It feels like I'm stuck in a nightmare.
My heart is pounding, and my head won't stop spinning. Words that won't come out fill my mouth.
I have to force out my following sentence, and the words spin around my throat like a ball made of barbed wire. "Noah doesn't remember me..."
Frank doesn't look at me. "No, Noah doesn't remember anyone from these past two years..."
I swallow thickly, but it doesn't remove the lump stuck in my throat. "Then Noah doesn't remember how we met. He won't have a clue about the pregnancy… He won't even remember that we are in love…"
Frank sighs, meeting my gaze with his eyes filled with tears. "I'm so sorry, Natalie. Noah's mother is probably feeding him lies about you and me. I heard she is filing a restraining order—they are rich and know the right people, so I expect her to get her will through."
I stop moving and turn deathly still, like a robot with all its batteries taken out. I'm alive, but I'm barely breathing.
Restraint order?
What am I supposed to do now?
How am I supposed to feel?
My world is collapsing into pieces. Noah doesn't remember me while I'm all choked up on how he made me smile. I still love him, and now his mother will ensure that we can't see each other anymore?
"Sweetheart..."
Carmen takes my hand in hers while silent tears drip down my chin. My lips are quivering, and when Carmen embraces me, I can no longer hold back the ocean.
I cry without restraint, and it's not cute at all. I scream and pull in my snot, wail until I'm hurting all over. It's as if my ribs and limbs are tearing apart. It feels like my soul is being ripped in two.
Nothing makes sense anymore!
My lungs are burning, aching while my heart is breaking to pieces.
"What am I supposed to do now?" My voice is broken, filled with tears and despair. Carmen is hugging me, and my vision is blurred. "I can't raise a child on my own!"
"Yes, you can! You're a strong woman, Natalie, and you won't be alone—Frank and I will be here for you! And who knows? Noah's memories might return, but until then, you can't give up!"
Carmen leans away from me. Her hands are on my shoulders, and her eyes are determined, set on mine. She looks resolute and firm, entirely different from me, who is dying on the inside.
"What if my baby won't like me?" I'm speaking in a teary voice, panicking. The world is spinning too fast. "Noah is kind. He is filled with light while I'm... I'm not good enough to become someone's mother! What if I will turn out like my mother?"
"You won't turn into lady Gracen!" Carmen tells me, eyeing me and transferring her calm to me. "The fact that you're worried about turning into your parent is proof that you will be different, Natalie."
"You think so?" I sob.
"Yes, my wife is never wrong," Frank chimes in. "And you and Noah are meant to be together. I saw the love between you two, the heat and the affection, and do you know what they say about true lovers?"
I blink away tears. "What?"
"That they always find their way home again," Frank smiles. "I know Noah will come back for you. But until then, we better start planning. There is a baby on the way, and tomorrow we are heading out shopping for your new apartment!"
My lips quiver. "No, I can't have you pay for more stuff... I've already been living with you guys for three weeks..."
"Oh, we can, and we will buy you stuff," Carmen says. "And that friend of yours... Linnea? She said she would hand you her old clothes and anything her parents didn't need, right? That's a start."
I smile even though my eyes are puffy and stinging from the tears that won't stop coming. "Yes, Linnea is a good friend, and you two are the nicest couple in this entire city."
Frank chuckles. "Meh, don't think too highly of us, dear—this is a win-win relationship. You watch soap operas with me."
"And I'm glad for that," Carmen says, sighing. "Then I won't have to suffer and can focus on knitting."
My lips stretch higher up my face. "I think there will be a lot of Grey's Anatomy in the upcoming future."
Frank smiles. "I'm already looking forward to it."
I keep the smile on my face. I'm sadder than ever, and I know I will have trouble sleeping. My heart is breaking, but Carmen is right; I can't give up. I have a baby on the way, so I have to be strong and brave for them.
Because in the end, my child is the most essential thing in this world, and I already love them dearly.
So I will fight and hope the wind blows in my direction and someday brings Noah home.
If I'm lucky, the Retrograde Amnesia will lift within weeks, but if I'm unlucky, Noah will never remember me.