Natalie
Bah, it feels great to have gotten so much work done today!
I've spent most of the day arranging Noah's weekly schedule. Bianca didn't really do a great job being his assistant; everything was a mess. But now things are in order, and I feel pretty good about myself.
I deserve a tap on my shoulder and a giant pint of ice-cold soda.
The day should be over, but I don't want to leave before Noah comes out here and tells me it's okay. He disappeared into his office after splashing coffee over his suit, but that was over an hour ago.
Noah can't still be showering, right? I know he has this little room in the back of his office, but the water isn't running anymore.
Perhaps he fell asleep or something?
I keep staring at his door and decide to just knock on it. I gather my shades and put on my jeans jacket. My hair flows down my back, and I reach out my hand, about to tap on Noah's door.
But the door instead opens, and shrugging my shoulders, I head inside uninvited.
I face Noah's desk, expecting to see him sitting in his chair waiting for me, but instead, I find him talking on the phone. His muscular back is faced toward me, and he is naked.
Naked.
Noah.
Like, giant, well-trained, gorgeous Noah, a beast of a man, is standing naked inside his office.
Like an uncharged robot, I come to a halt, and Noah keeps talking into the phone. He doesn't seem to have noticed me. In fact, I hear him laughing with his hand raking through his wet, brown hair.
My heart pounds against my ribcage.
I realize I should quickly run out of here before he turns around and notices me checking him out. This is definitely one of those moments that could lead to me being fired on the spot.
But Noah...
I can't take my eyes off him!
I really should because it's inappropriate to check out the guy I was dating who doesn't remember me.
But Noah is just so big.
More massive than in the past—how is that possible?
He has flawless tanned skin, broad shoulders that I want to sink my finger in, and sinewy muscles rippling down his back.
And then that peachy ass.
Oh-my-god, it's even rounder than I remember!
It slightly jiggles as he walks, teasing me as Noah moves. Its incredibly firm, ripe like an apple that I just want to sink my teeth into and lick every inch of before—
Noah turns around.
Blue eyes widen, and my face pales. Fear seizes my throat, and my brain explodes. I don't know what to do, but I'm not thinking clearly because my eyes land on Noah's package.
Holy cheese.
Suddenly I'm wetter than ever, no longer drier than the lands of the Sahara desert.
I shouldn't stare.
But I'm so weak!
I repeatedly tell myself to look away from Noah, yet instead, I find myself gawking because that's one hell of a cock. So damn mouth-watering. I had forgotten how beautiful they could be... Veiny... Thick... Holy pancakes... I need an inhalator!
Noah's lips curl. Amusement is taking over his features, along with something resembling mischief. "I don't believe I heard you knocking."
It hits me that Noah doesn't make an effort to hide. He is just that confident, probably realizing any woman would swoon at the sight of him. Yet it's not arrogance I find on his face, but curiosity.
There is none of that affection from the past.
No laughter or flirtatious wink from Noah's eye.
It throws me off, and I take a step back. "I'm sorry... I was just going to ask if it was okay if I went home... I didn't mean to—I'm rambling, and Noah is wearing such a strange expression. "I mean... Don't think I came in here because... I'm not a pervert..."
Oh-my-god, I wish that I could just shut up! I'm so confused. Aroused even though I shouldn't be, and Noah? He is looking at me funny, and it kills me! Every minute spent with him is me balancing on the edge of doing something stupid.
Like kissing him!
All these voices, memories, and pictures of the past—I wish I could shut them off and forget about Noah!
To my absolute horror, Noah chuckles. "Wow, you're not shy, are you? Most people would have walked out of my office and apologized by now. But not you—you are staring at me."
My face burns and tears prickle behind my eyelids. Noah is correct, but my brain is having trouble registering that we are strangers now. It's still used to appreciating every ridge and turn.
"I'm sorry..." I breathe, letting a few silent tears drop down on the floor.
Concern washes over Noah's features, seeing me cry, and he parts his lips to speak. "Natalie—"
The missing light in his eyes confuses me, and I turn around and bolt for the door. "I'm sorry for walking in on you! So sorry! I should head home; I will see you tomorrow!"
Like a coward, I flee from the scene with my tail between my legs.
Noah doesn't call for me. He doesn't try to stop me, and the tears sting my eyes even as I head out onto the street. In my mind, there are images of me kissing Noah, hugging him, and being with him.
Why is life so cruel?
I wave over a cab, laughing, when I realize my phone is missing from my pocket. I must have left it on my desk. It doesn't matter; I have cash and will get home either way.
And I need to be alone with my daughter. Emma's bright, cute face will cheer me up and numb the pain in my heart, at least for a couple of sweet moments. When she falls asleep, the pain comes back.
I hardly ever sleep at night. My mind is busy dreaming about Noah, but life isn't a fairytale. Noah's memories won't return, and I'm bound to crack into pieces.
Maybe I should date someone new?
I doubt I could ever love another soul like I love Noah—his touch has marked me forever. There is more of Noah in my veins than blood; the man has his own throne in my heart's chamber. I can't forget about him, but it's time to realize we won't become an item again.
I have to move on for my sake, or I might break and shatter into a thousand pieces. All these emotions are too loud, and I need to shut them down.
I choose life and happiness instead of misery.