Harmony
A week and a half later…
I wish I could tell you that shit has changed, but it ain’t.
I’m now using Ariella’s blood every four days to heal the pain in my stomach and lift my mood, and I can tell you now that if I didn’t take it, I don’t know what state I’d be in.
My dad and everyone else is back from Alaska. Ella did some hero shit and got Aunt Abriya out there in time to use her howl to tame everyone. Maximus is dead and so is his little snitch Demus. Ariella made it look like a freak car accident, but really, she got rid of him.
And good fucking riddance.
I’m hoping there won’t be any more drama now…
I’m glad they’re all back safe, but now mom and dad are back to interrogating the hell out of me every day. I almost caved yesterday, but I didn’t. Ella said it wouldn’t be long, so I’m trying my hardest to hold on like she said to.
Although, Davonyé’s back at school today so shit could go either way now. Carisse is still set on moving back home to Ontario if she don’t get Davonyé back, which has me on edge. I’m hoping she’s just bluffing so I’ll tell her what I know.
I hope to God she is.
I get through my classes, barely. It’s Friday and our exams start Monday. I don’t hold much hope in doing well, so much so, I’ve already downloaded the resit papers. I know I’ll know the answers, but I just can’t concentrate enough to find them in my head. The only thing I can think of is Jaheim.
Ella said he’s suffering, but that don’t even make me feel better, only worse. I wish he wasn’t doing this shit, but what can I do? Even if I told Carisse how I felt about her brother, there ain’t no way in hell she’d help me see him. She told me he was gay for fuck’s sake. She’d leave like him and never give me a second thought.
I’m just glad she ain’t gonna be my sister in law by blood, cuz even though I can be a straight up bitch sometimes, she’s plain spiteful. I thought I was spoiled for being an only child, but she takes shit to a whole next level and thinks the world revolves around her.
She needs to grow up.
I leave class for lunch and see her waiting for me outside in the hall, but I can’t even say I’m happy about it. She’s been taking her shit out on me for the last two weeks and it’s been hard to let her, even if I do feel the lowest I’ve ever felt.
She gives me a look. “Hey.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Hey…” The fuck is up with her?
“I heard Davonyé’s back in school.”
News travels quick. “Good for him.”
She scoffs and reties up her braids. “Seriously, Harm, you need to get laid.”
I laugh, not because what she said is funny, but because I remember saying that shit to Ella so many times… If only my problem was just the lack of dick…
“Fucking hell, that’s a sound I ain’t heard from you in a while, and it weren’t even that funny.”
I eye her as we start making our way to the cafeteria. “I know. So, you gonna find him?”
“Yeah. I wanna talk. I just need to know what happened. I need to know what I did wrong.”
I shrug. “Fair enough. You gonna stay?”
She gives me a quick glance. “That depends.”
I roll my eyes but stay quiet. I ain’t really got much fight left in me anyways. I’m fucking done with life. I think I could get hit by a bus and the pain still wouldn’t be as bad as this emotional type I’m in.
We walk into the cafeteria, but I almost walk straight into Carisse when she stops dead in front of me. I open my mouth to cuss her but just gape when I see Davonyé kissing the hell out of Ella in the middle of the damn hall.
The fuck are they doing?
Davonyé literally grabs her and pulls her flush against him, letting the whole fucking world know who she belongs to now.
“Shit, Ella,” I hiss. Like they couldn’t have done this shit more subtly? Has she forgotten that I need Carisse in my life so I can get to Jaheim?
I look beside me and see the devastation clear as day on Carr’s face. Even I feel sorry for her, but selfishly, I feel even more sorry for me.
I’m fucked now.
Well and truly fucked.
There ain’t no way she’ll believe I didn’t know, no matter what I say. And now she’ll cut me off and leave, and I won’t have any way to find Jaheim.
I watch her glaring at them until Davonyé releases Ella and pulls her towards the lunch line, then she turns to face me with tears in her eyes. “You could have at least warned me, Harm.” She sounds so upset, and it makes me feel genuinely awful.
She runs towards the exit and ignores me when I call after her.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I look at Ella and Davonyé, suddenly feeling furious with both of them. I march over to them and grab Ella’s arm as hard as I can to turn her around before letting go. “What the fuck was all that, Ella? She was already on the verge of movin’ her ass back to Ontario. How am I gonna get Jaheim to come back here if his sister ain't?”
She holds my arms by my sides. “Trust me.”
The fuck am I meant to trust her after this stunt? “This is my life, Ella,” I hiss, but wanting to scream. “I fucking needed her!”
She lets my arms go. “I know, but I can see, remember? This had to happen.”
I scoff. “Sure. And here was me clinging to hope because you said it would be over soon.”
Her eyes flash with blue. “It will.”
“Yeah, my life will be.” I shake my head. “Fuck all this.” I turn away from them and make my way out of the cafeteria and out of school.
My heart feels emptier with each step, and by the time I reach my car, I’m only just managing to keep myself on my feet. This is the worst thing that could’ve happened.
My life is ruined.
***
I cry most of the way, home thinking about all the scenarios that could play out now. And not one of them makes me feel like things will be okay.
I wanna call Carisse to see if she's alright. I feel bad as fuck for her. No matter how much we've been bickering these days, I still feel for her over this. I always moaned about her crying over Davonyé, but now I understand exactly what it feels like to have your heart shattered.
I all the way understand it.
I make my way inside the house and pray my parents don't clock what time it is and kill me for skipping school, but they both appear in the hallway, giving me the look that tells me they ain’t impressed.
I slump in defeat. “I needed to come home. Please don't give me a hard time.”
Dad studies me while mom appears more intrigued. “Why are you home so early?”
“Because...” I inhale deeply, trying not to let all my torment come out in tears.
Mom steps closer. “Please, Sweetie, tell us what's going on. You're clearly upset. You can tell us. No matter what it is, we’re here for you.”
I bite my lip; she looks so concerned and so does dad. Ugh… I exhale deeply. “I found my mate.”
They both smile but quickly wipe them from their faces. “What's happened?” Dad asks.
I laugh, but it rapidly turns into full-blown bawling. They're both beside me so damn quick, hugging me at the same time and trying to console me.
I slump against my dad, actually feeling relieved that they know.
“Baby girl,” he says softly, hugging me tighter. “Tell us what's happened so we can make it better.”
“You can't… You wouldn't even believe how messed up my situation is.”
“No matter what it is, Sweetie, there's always a way to fix it.”
I wanna believe that so badly.
I pull out of their arms to face them and sigh as I wipe my eyes. “Alright. I'll tell you.”
We go into the kitchen and dad pours the three of us a bourbon and then rolls a blunt. He's pulling out the strong shit, so I know he knows how serious this shit must be.
My parents know I fuck on the regular, but ware parents are different when it comes to shit like that. Sex is a massive part of being what we are, so it doesn't carry any embarrassment. Besides, it's not like I can get hurt from it. I can't catch std’s even if I didn't use rubbers, and even though I’m a girl, I’m still stronger than human males.
“So, Carisse’s brother is my mate. His name’s Jaheim and he's twenty-eight...”
Their faces tell me even they’re surprised at how fucked up this is, and they both drink some of their drink.
“…I first met him when he came to pick up Carisse from here that day I skipped school, after Davonyé broke up with her.
“Did you realise who he was then?” Dad asks.
“I had my suspicions because things were so intense with him. He literally took my breath away.”
Mom smiles sadly as she takes the blunt from Dad. “I remember meeting your Dad and it was the same. There’s nothing like the moment you lay eyes on your mate for the first time.” She looks at dad and he smiles adoringly at her.
I sip some of my drink, shuddering because of how strong it is. “Yeah, it should come with a warning. I know we've spoken about it before, but nothing could’ve prepared me for it.”
Mom passes me the blunt. “So have you seen him since?”
I take a long pull of the smoke before slowly releasing it. Dad grows his own high grade in the attic for him and mom and it’s strong as fuck. “I met him again a week after. I realised for certain who he was cuz I wasn't interested in anyone else.” They get the gist of what I'm saying. “We kissed...” I actually smile remembering it. “It changed my life.”
Mom smiles harder, but then the sadness rushes back like a knife to the heart. I skip the part about him seeing me in the car. “We arranged to meet at the James’ the next day… so we were there and getting into things, but then he suddenly got up and left.”
They both frown at that.
“Yeah...” I bite my lip to stop from crying. “He said he couldn't do it. I dunno if he felt guilty about something... I don't know him, obviously, but I feel like something almost scared him.”
Dad takes the blunt from me. “Overwhelmed, more than likely.”
“I agree,” Mom says. “Some men get scared when they catch feelings. And it can be a lot for humans to take.”
“Yeah, I thought it might be that…”
“So what’s going on with you both now?” Dad asks. “Did you tell him what you were and he didn't accept it?”
I shake my head. “No. I text him the day after to ask what I did. He just said he couldn't see me again, and that it wasn't me it was him.”
“What?”
“Yeah. I asked him to meet me cuz I was gonna tell him, but he blocked me and went back to Ontario. He's been there ever since.”
They both look confused. “But that must be at least a month ago,” Dad says in disbelief.
I nod.
Mom’s horrified. “Oh, sweetie… I can’t even imagine.”
“That’s a long time for a mate to be able to stay away from the other, Baby girl… No wonder you’ve been so down.”
“Yeah, well, Ella says he’s suffering like I am, but she can't do anything about it. All she's said is that it's almost over now.”
Mom frowns. “So that’s a good thing, right?”
“It was until today. Davonyé came back and kissed Ella in the middle of the cafeteria. Carisse saw it… She was so hurt...” I remember the way she looked at me. “She's been saying she’s going back to Ontario for ages if things don't work out with her and Davonyé, but if she moves back there, I won't ever get to Jaheim...” I start crying again with that thought.
“Oh, Sweetie.”
“She don't even need him or her mom to come get her because she drives now...” I bury my head in my hands. “I don't think I can cope anymore. I'm literally at rock bottom...” I look back up at them. “I've been taking Ella’s blood to keep me going. My exams are Monday and I just know I'm gonna fail. I don't know what to do.”
“What the hell?” Mom gushes. “Since when?”
“For a few weeks now. She felt my stomach hurting and gave it to me.”
Dad don’t look happy. “Ariella’s blood ain’t gonna help you in the long run. Do you want us to track him down?”
“I don’t know…” I wanted to solve this shit on my own, but maybe I won’t ever be able to do it without them…
“Can’t you try speaking to Carisse? Make her see it’s not your fault?” Mom suggests.
I wipe my eyes. “I wanted to call her to see if she was okay, but I know she’ll be so angry… She won't ever believe I didn't know. She even knew herself that something was going on between them. All she did was go on and on about it.”
“You’ve gotta make her listen,” Dad says. “If you don’t want our help then you need to keep in contact with her because that’s your only link to him.”
“I know…”
“I’d give her time to calm down,” Mom says. “It's Saturday tomorrow; go in the morning. Speak to her face to face. Make her see that she can't blame you for their actions.”
“Exactly, and if that fails, we’ll find him for you.”
“Alright.”