Just like that, my world came crashing down in one single moment. A moment that was cementing itself in my mind. I didn’t expect the scene in front of me. Isaiah, my Isaiah, was kissing another girl. In front of everybody.
I couldn’t be mad, I couldn’t be mad. I kept telling myself. I wouldn’t allow myself to be mad. I wasn’t his mate and it’s not like we ever define our relationship, right? Right. Besides, he's an Alpha and I’m just a hunter. I wasn’t worthy to be his anyway.
Still I didn’t think I would find myself at this moment, watching as everyone in the room seemed happy while I was breaking down inside. Them kissing was the only image in my head as I bolted out the back door. F.uck that! I was mad and I couldn’t contain it. I wanted to hurt someone, something and if I didn’t leave I know where my claws would end up. Right in her perfect little face.
He was just kissing me and now- I needed to get away. The pain in my chest was beginning to build as if it wanted to explode. It was powerful enough to make me hold my chest and gasp for breath. I could feel Nina pacing back and forth in my mind. I knew this was hurting us both.
Zira- my wolf, Nina, tried to speak.
Don't you dare say it, Nina, I snapped before she started.
There were a few pack members near the garden watching me with curious glances. I plastered on a strained smile and moved away from prying eyes. I didn't understand why it hurt so much. He wasn't even my mate. The image of them flashed in my head again and suddenly the pain turned into blind rage.
I knew the majority of it came from Nina which confused me. She didn't like the idea of me dating Isaiah. She kept nagging about finding our mate, but where was he? How long was I supposed to wait? It wasn't fair to put my heart on hold for someone I might never meet.
I was going to say that bitch! I was just starting to like him. All that energy wasted, Nina growled, pressing me to change.
Nina! I screamed trying to calm her down. I can feel the color of my eyes changing and my nails lengthening as I tried to fight for control. You need to calm down before you do something reckless.
I don't want to calm down. I’m pissed. I want to tear someone apart, Nina growled.
There's nothing we could do Nina. They are mates and we knew this was going to happen eventually.
I knew everything I was saying was falling on deaf ears. I needed to get to the woods, and fast.
I know, Nina snapped, but I don't have to be happy about it. So let me out.
She was right. I was entitled to my anger and I needed to let it go. I ran towards the woods trying to put as much distance as I could from the pack house. I didn’t trust Nina one bit. She was more confrontational than me. I passed through the trees as I felt Nina getting more restless. I knew I had to get as far away from the pack house as I could. Knowing Nina, she would race back in there to kill both of them.
Zira, let me out, Nina growled in my mind.
Not yet, Nina. I have to at least get far away. Just in case you have any ideas.
Then hurry. I could murder just about anything right now.
After getting about two miles in I snapped off my necklace and placed it safely near a bush. I saw the tears falling on my dress as I fumbled with the zipper.
I’m sorry, Nina said just before shifting, tearing through my dress.
Well there goes my dress. Nina raced between the trees, picking up speed. I lost myself in the feeling of the wind whipping through our fur and our paws beating off the ground. I feel my anger radiating to her as she uses her claws to slash every passing tree. Luna Bella was going to kill me for this. She's such a nature freak.
He found his mate, so fast. I knew eventually this would happen but dammit I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. I only had one week with him. One fucking week. One week to feel wanted and needed. One week to forget about finding my mate. One week of bliss. I was failing at letting go. Letting go the moments I was in his arms. The moments I felt like his. Those moments slowly faded away being replaced by their kiss.
The way he held her like she was the most precious thing in the world. The way he kissed her like she was air itself. The same way he held me, kissed me. For a moment I did feel like the most precious thing in his world. It was fleeting but it was there. It was real. At least for me.
No this was different. They had so much passion and longing. So much of everything that I always wanted. Now I have nothing but anger. Enough building up I could choke on it.
We continued this pace as the moon traveled across the sky. We made our way to a stream for a quick drink before settling down. It was getting dark now. How long have I been out here? I wondered if anyone was looking for me. Mainly if he realized I was gone.
Stop that! He doesn’t matter anymore, Nina growled.
I know, but I can’t just forget him like that, Nina, I yelled.
You're gonna have to try. For the both of us.
I could feel her frustration which only added to my broken heart and internal pain. I wanted to scream. Scream at the Moon Goddess for keeping my mate from me. Scream at the girl who was taking the closest thing I had to love. Scream at Isaiah for breaking my heart. Nina threw back her head and howled.
It was the first time she's howled since our first pack run. It was so loud I could feel it through my entire body and soul. It held so much emotion but I could feel a steady release, but it wasn’t enough to ease my pain. I moved deeper inside my mind. I wanted nothing more than to let go.