The next day went by fast. There seemed to be a bustle of activity even though it was only a conference. One they weren’t even hosting. I realized just how secluded these ranked members were from even those in their own pack.
My thoughts strayed to the constant activity of the packhouse at Blood Moon, how it was open to all, and how you could always find something to do in the great hall. But here… besides some visitors and, of course, the upcoming trials, the ranked members isolated themselves from everyone. I didn’t understand it.
I waited for him in the library, absentmindedly flipping through a book that told the heroic tales of the previous Alphas of Black River that guarded their stolen land against the evil intruders, even though they started as intruders. A conqueror's tale, I snorted, slamming it shut. I wondered how many of these books actually told an unbiased account, but I doubted many, at any of the packs, did.
I felt him edge closer. I could hear his soft steps on the carpet now, but still only barely.
“What would you have done? he asked, coming to stand behind me.
“Hello to you too,” I said too sweetly.
A side of his lips twitched slightly. “Good Morning,” he said.
“Good morning. What would I have done about what?”
“If you were mated to one of them. The brothers”
I looked over my shoulder. He was standing surveying the unlit fireplace as if a threat would pop out from one of the bookshelves beyond it.
“Nothing.” I shrugged.
“It wouldn’t have changed anything?” he asked.
“Changed what?”
“Your plans.”
“What plans?” I smiled, but he couldn’t see.
He came to sit on the edge of the chair next to me in a way that looked widely uncomfortable. This man had to know how to use a chair?
“Let’s say that you had plans to avenge your family through the deaths of the ones that took their lives.” He glanced at me. “Just pretending.” A corner of his lips pulled up through one of his scars. “And you ended up being mated to one of the targets. Would it change anything?”
“Just pretending?” I asked. He nodded once, still smiling. “Okay, let me think.” I paused and tapped my chin; I could sense his growing amusement. “No.” I pinned him with a serious stare.
“Really?” he asked.
“Really.”
He shifted forward, barely. “But the mate bond might have changed them. Changed how they act toward you.”
“I don’t think that there should have to be divine intervention in order for them to realize that they are shitty people,” I snorted.
The other side of his lips twitched up, and a real, wide smile graced his face. He looked younger brighter, and it was strange but beautiful. “You’re absolutely right,” he agreed, “I didn’t think about it like that.”
“Would you?” I raised a brow, settling back.
“Take a mate that only treated me okay because of the bond?”
“Exactly that.”
“No.” He shook his head.
“Why do you ask?”
“I was just… curious. If things would have changed.”
“The Moon Goddess must not hate me that much,” I sighed.
“I don’t think she does,” he said, his voice soft.
“Do you think she hates you?” I asked, unable to look at him.
He tensed, after a long moment, he said, “I don’t know.”
So we sat there in silence, two people forgotten by our Goddess at best and hated at worst.
He shifted and picked up the book I was flipping through. “Catching up on your history?” Ezra noted the book's cover.
“It’s not my history,” I snapped. “Sorry,” I sighed. “I just, there’s a lot going on.”
He nodded slowly. “I apologize. That wasn’t how I meant it.”
“I know. I just don’t have anyone to take my anger out on, and I forget myself.” With you…
“I understand,” he said, and I knew he did. To some extent, at least.
“Is everything in place?” I took the book back and put it where I found it, noting the other covers. There was so much information here, but none of it seemed to be of much use.
“Yes,” he said. “I’ll leave you to it then.” I saw him nod deeply from the corner of my eye before he left on near-silent feet.
I wandered the library for something to do. Mostly history books, unopened for what seemed like years. Probably various accounts of Black Forest's history glorifying bloodshed. But their line remembered that all too well; they didn’t need to look into a book to know what this pack was founded on.
I clenched my fists and reigned in that lapping anger. It was almost time to get ready.
I showered and waited for Alice to come in. She did an awkward bow, and I internally sighed, feeling more impatient than even normal. “Are you going down to dinner?” she asked. “The ranked members will be leaving soon.”
“Oh,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ll be fine then, I’ll manage. Thank you, Alice. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I offered her a smile.
She mercifully scooted out of the room, probably grateful to have a night alone. Once I was sure she was gone, I styled my hair for the first time in years or attempted to. I pulled some of my straight hair up and pinned it off my face.
My gut coiled as I pulled out the box I hid and rummaged around a bag containing makeup. I closed my eyes and thought of what my mom would do, how she would help me put on a bit before a big party after I begged. I wanted to look like her; I wanted to be like her.
I swallowed and wiped a tear that fell from the side of my eye. I focused on the task at hand and steadied myself. This was just another challenge to overcome. I dabbed some eyeshadow and lined my gray eyes. The mascara almost poked me, and I was annoyed having to dab it off and restart on one eye. I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself. I looked older, more my age, mature even.
But it was a physical mask, a barrier between them and me, and it made me feel safer. I lined my lips with the deep red lipstick I requested to match the dress and then got dressed.
The dark fabric was floor length; it cinched around my waist and flared out with a deep slit. It was the first time in years that I wore something that wasn’t oversized and just plain hideous. Besides the night of my birthday… I pushed that thought away.
How do we look? - I asked Aksala
Absolutely stunning
Are you ready? - I asked; I needed the comfort.
We got this. I promise - she growled, and it calmed me.
I tugged on an oversized black jacket and did the buttons up to hide as much of the fabric as I could. The ranked members left a few minutes ago; their car rolled down the gravel path, and it was my cue. There were no footsteps outside, but it was nearing dinner time, and I didn’t know where the Omegas would be.
As I snuck down the staircase, the place felt… Lighter. As if the tension eased with the ranked members gone, and it was an unsettling feeling that people seemed to be more comfortable without the people sworn to protect them around.
I tapped gently on the door, and it creaked open. Ezra stood tall in front of me, blocking out the moon’s light. He was wearing a black tunic and pants and had swords strapped to his back that glistened in the moonlight. I took a breath in, and he stepped back.
“Simone,” he said, his dark brows bunching together. “You look…”
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” I asked, grabbing a bunch of the silky fabric under my coat.
“You look breathtaking,” he said, his mismatched eyes widened.
I couldn’t help the wide smile that tugged at my face. “Don’t act so surprised.” I tried to laugh, but my throat felt dry.
“Let’s go,” he held out his arm to me, and I wrapped my hand around his. He led me to the back of a car and opened the door. The warrior sitting there glanced at me, surprise evident on his face.
“They forgot one,” Ezra’s demeanor changed, and he was completely cold and stoic again.
He got in the passenger’s seat, and the driver started the car.
“They’re not far off,” the warrior sitting next to me said.
“Good.” Ezra nodded. “They will take some time to get settled before they go in, so we will be right behind them.”
The warriors talked about the layout of the packhouse we were going to and voiced their wishes to be allowed access prior to the event that they were denied. Ezra agreed in a few words; it was obvious these other warriors looked up to him, that he was the leader even if he wasn’t part of this pack. I glanced up and caught his eye in the mirror.
No one spoke to me the entire car ride.
We pulled up, and the warrior opened the door for me. I nodded my head and looked at my feet. “Take an initial read; I’ll meet you out front,” Ezra commanded them, and they nodded, heading off.
Once they were out of earshot, Ezra seemed to lighten a bit. “Are you ready?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t think I ever will be.”
This was the first time I tried something like this, and it could be seen as outright rebellion. It might shift everything that I worked for, crumble it, and turn me back into a prisoner. But if I did nothing… then I would always regret it, until my time came, at least.
“Stay here, I’ll go see what’s going on.” He opened the car door again, and I slipped in, watching him walk off.
The ranked member's cars were valeted in another lot. The conference was starting tonight with a party and would go on until Sunday. With the meetings happening tomorrow. As much as I wanted to stick around for that, I knew I would be sent away tonight, hopefully alone.
Ezra came back faster than I expected, slipping into the warmth of the car next to me.
“There are still a few people straggling in, but I think most of them are in there. I heard them start to make speeches or whatever they do.”
“You’ve never been to pack events?” I asked.
“Not as an invited guest,” he responded, looking away from me. “We should be ready soon.” He came back to himself or the persona he slipped into.
I fidgeted with the bottom of my coat. “Then what?” I asked.
“We move forward, I give you a signal, and you dazzle them,” he said with a shrug, but it was tight.
I knew he was risking himself, too, for my cause. Even if he really believed in some moral code to even the scales of injustice or whatever he called it. This was my cause. And our one shot to play ignorance at this level, and there were more things that could go wrong than go in my favor. But I had to make a public appearance if my future plans were to work.
“Okay,” Ezra said, nodding, but he hesitated. I almost felt guilty bringing him into this, but he had an out. He could slip away back to his life. He wouldn’t be blamed anyway. “I’ll go check in with my warriors and be back for you.”
“Your warriors?” I asked.
“You know what I mean.” He gave me a brief smile and left me.
I fidgeted and checked my appearance in the rearview mirror a few times. The sounds of the night seemed to still around the car until he returned. He was impassive and stoic again as he reached out a hand for me. I took off my coat and placed my hand in his. The warmth of his large palm wrapping around mine helped ground me. The touch that was so foreign to me now warmed me and steadied me. He rubbed a calloused finger on the back of my hand, and I appreciated his attempts.
Omegas opened the door for us when we neared. “Go on, Simone.” Ezra dropped my hand, squeezing it one last time.
The warmth and chatter spilled out of the packhouse, and I took a step in. Ezra followed closely behind, and I followed the sounds behind closed doors almost as high as the ceiling itself.
“You got this,” he whispered, and his warm breath made goosebumps prick and my breath hitch, but it was better than feeling nothing but nerves.
“Okay,” I nodded to the Omegas standing outside the doors, holding my chin high.
Tonight, I wouldn’t drop my gaze. Tonight, I wouldn’t avert my eyes. Tonight, I would wear a different mask.
For a few minutes, at least.